ARCs Journey to Khan


#202

No improvement, really? From your side or others?


#203

To be fair on khan and Ts,

I have not found the courage to meet friends who i feel uncomfortable with, that i would judge the effectiveness :frowning:


#204

Boyo I am saying this with great experience, expecting any kind of social success while playing emperor is a very very bad idea.
I had no problem with conversating with anybody but now I feel uncomfortable to talk to just about everyone.


#205

I have used Emperor for the last 2 days only. have not expereinced any social success before the 2 days either.


#206

But i will keep this in mind for the journey ahead


#207

I have experienced the exact opposite. Running khan made me really really good socially. More than once, i have had instances where the people in my class(50-60people) started cheering for me when I walked it for no goddamn reason except for the fact that they enjoy my company.
Now with Emperor, social situations just turn weird for some reason. I am an extrovert who gets defined as a social animal but now I am just starting to avoid people.


#208

You did not journal your khan journey here?


#209

Didnt think a journal was that important back then tbh, finally realized its importance after getting off the sub.


#210

It’s starting to seem to me that how the subliminals affect you has a lot to do with:

  1. where you started out before taking them
    and
  2. what’s going on beneath the surface.

In the younger years, much energy goes into creating a persona that allows you to navigate social interactions/relationships. Some personae are, obviously, more successful than others, and we all differ in terms of the particular personae we’re able to create.

But if at some point we get interested in actual development, and not just continually refining that social avatar called the persona, we may start to deal with real feelings and processes going on inside of us. There usually seems to be some amount of crisis involved in ‘facing who you really are’, but if we can survive and make it through to the other side, we have a much more solid style of being in the world. Things feel more ‘real’.

The subconscious mind definitely belongs to that ‘real’ side of things, and so it makes sense that when using the subconscious to promote growth and change, we have a tendency to bump into those kinds of crises.

The bottom line is that, as they say, Your Mileage May Vary. When you go within to find out who you really are, the results you find will be yours and not someone else’s. I guess it’s likely to be a journey with surprises, no matter who you are.


#211

Thanks for sharing this @Malkuth, these were the ideas inside me which I couldn’t come to express in words till now.


#212

Thanks @Rapsta. I know that feeling and that’s cool to hear.


#213

I feel so encouraged to continue subs after every visit to my office / factory. Today, I had my second disappointing social outing.
Is it possible that I don’t have any social programming in me?


#214

Thank you for this I have reflected on your points.

reflection from here.

Ever since growing up, I was under a certain domestic trauma, which I don’t want to go through.

I was controlled by this trauma from pre school till about grade 4 or 5.

Until grade 3. I would only go to school and sit on my desk. Talk to no one, not pay attention to anything going on. I was only in my head from the first hour of school till the last hour.

I was not good at anything. I was a loner who would just go to school, devising how to evade the impending trauma at home and come back home. By the time I started understanding my surroundings, I had developed a anxious indecisive personality, who did not have confidence in himself

I made my first friend in grade 4. But I till date have never made a friend long term. I don’t have a friend who I have deep connection with.

From grade 9 onwards, I got Into music and Suddenly started getting celebrity status. And I started getting attention from girls here and there. inherently was still a nice guy.
I got my first gf in grade nine. And I thought we were deeply in love. But she left me because I was too nice. Note that I had a very good reputation In school btw.

After being heartbroken, just to prove that girl wrong, I decided to transform myself, so i started downloading pick up artist materials, and alpha guides, and tips and tricks. And started learning from these.and tried displaying these fake behaviours

I did get alot of success In highschool, but now, I don’t attribute any of it to the pick up material. However at that time I thought it was all the pick up material, so I looked for more material. I was obsessed with learning attraction hacks and tricks.

At grade 12, I thought I finally found a best friend. I told him about all my self transformation through pick up materials etc. But he went and told this to everyone. And people form my school completely started avoiding me.

In college I had a confused understanding of what it meant to be confident. My understanding was I must seduce everyone. Which no doubt labelled me as a creep.
Result= I have no friend from college either.

After college I completely refreshed my mind for all that pick up crap. And that is when I found my Girlfriend.

No friend from school, no friend from college, people in masters aren’t interested to be friends. Or maybe I can’t make friends.

Maybe it’s that little child in me who wants that validation from people, where ever he sees an opportunity, which he never got as child.


#215

This is a rambling and long response. Be warned.

All anyone is ever going to do is to share with you from their own point of view, because that’s all anyone can do. No one has all of the answers. That definitely includes me.

My opinion:

Life is not a game that you win or you lose. Relationships are not rewards or punishments because you did something good or bad.

By nature and by culture, people have a bunch of different desires. Based on our perceptions and our limited understandings, we try various strategies to get what we want. That’s pretty much the whole thing.

When we’re young, we usually believe that someone somewhere has the answers, And that someone is responsible for making everything make sense. We’re usually somewhat rigid in this belief. That’s appropriate since we are building a personality, and a somewhat stable personality requires some sort of somewhat stable structure.

But that very rigidity that we need to grow when we are young also means that our wins, our losses, our strengths, and shortcomings feel so much more dramatic to us. Pain feels like a punishment. Pleasure a reward.

It’s tough stuff. And it’s even tougher if you don’t have enough supportive, equanimous people to help you through it.

But we mostly get through, and then the next job is to learn psychological flexibility. You have to be rigid first. There’s no way to skip that stage. But then you learn flexibility.

Flexibility

Turns out everyone is just improvising all this shit. The tough things that happened to you weren’t because you were bad or unworthy. It’s probably much more arbitrary than that. In nature, when the causes line up, the effects happen.

You don’t necessarily get popularity, success, intimacy, or approval because you’re great, nor because you’re horrible. You get them because the causes line up. You can be an asshole with a girlfriend or you can be the greatest guy also with a girlfriend. They’re not rewards. If the ‘girlfriend-causes’ line up, then you get a girlfriend. If the ‘friendship-and-intimacy-causes’ line up, then you get intimacy and friendship.

These causes are usually not about morality in any straightforward way.

If an upstanding man plants an apple seed in fertile soil with good access to water and sunlight; after some time an apple tree will grow. If a criminal man does the same things, an apple tree will also grow. No matter how ‘good’ or ‘bad’ they both are, it’s never going to be an orange tree.

So, if you survive childhood, now it’s time to spend some time learning about what causes what. Painful lessons and enjoyable lessons. All kinds of lessons.

But if you can learn, then you can try to put the causes in place that create what you want. And also, all of this keeps transforming, including parts of what you want.

That’s a long-ass account of one man’s opinions. Everyone here has got opinions.

Anyway, practical ending:

Sooner or later it comes back to working through traumas. We become rigid around our traumas, to protect ourselves. Eventually that blocks flexibility and becomes an issue.

Sounds like that is happening for you. Just means you’re human. Might be good for you to seek support in working through that stuff. Or not. It’s up to you.


#216

@mecharc completely understand, had a very similar childhood, without the middle school popularity.

Stick with it, even though you don’t see it, you’re getting results. Head up, mate.


#217

Thank you to everyone who has reached out to Me and supported me.
I grew up a loner and Into a very emotional person, which i usually try to hide by “trying to be funny”.
I was staring to take this platform to be a community of friends I never had, to freely share my thoughts. my intentions here werent to be a nuisance. Even though now I clearly understand my approach was wrong.

I know everyone means well here. But some comments seemed like a personal attack on me, and being the emotional person as I am, I can’t handle it.
I would have appreciated a personal message from anyone who felt bothered, telling me to stop how I was doing my posting. I really didn’t appreciate the public attack relating my girlfriend in a comment especially, or portraying me as an idiot publicly.
I will not label this community as anything other than a place for positive development, only because of feeling personally attacked by a few people. But I feel very self conscious here. And today, for the first time after 2 months, I have not checked this place every half an hour.

I am happy to know that i am still welcomed here by many, anI hope I will get over this uncomfortable feeling soon, and be back to annoy you all again.
Till then, love you all.


#218

Keep journaling though. We still want to see your progress. :+1:


#219

After 2 days of feeling butthurt, I’m back to my senses.
@SaintSovereign is right, running away defeats the purpose of my stack!
A khan doesn’t get fizzled out by lame insults!
I’m sorry to myself for running away from this place for 1 and a half day. I’ll hAve to keep on walking my way regardless of how others try to throw me down.

But that said, will definitely not post all over this community.


#220

Do I dare to take feedback on my new stack?


#221

Yeah go ahead, tell us😀