Sounds like that therapist may have been going for the ‘tough love’ approach. He was trying to present an image of a positive, attainable future, but it blocked his ability to see and connect with where you were in that moment. It’s a mistake that some therapists make (maybe all of them make it, at one point or another).
Growth and progress.
Yes. It’s a good idea to take all of those diagnoses with a grain of salt. They can be useful tools or gauges of areas where you’re stuck or where you need some work.
But almost all of them are not based on any clear biological foundation. Rather they’re sort of reverse-engineered from statistically commonly-observed patterns. When it comes to personality and the mind, it’s very difficult to get wide consensus on very straightforward causal factors and mechanisms. We can be impacted by so many different factors, and what we can become in the future is very diverse as well. For the most part, the statistical patterns represented in a mental health diagnosis are a sophisticated snapshot of where you might be at a particular point in time.
Like a ‘You are Here’ arrow on a map. It’s good for getting your bearings, but not so much for deciding where you’ll head to next.
I didn’t really get burned by a therapist, but I did find that, in general, they didn’t communicate at a sensitive enough level to satisfy me. It was difficult to feel ‘seen’. I can also see that my attitude and style definitely contributed to that. But I’d have appreciated a more subtle, sensitive, and internally flexible approach, I think.
I agree with you that trust and safety are of paramount importance when it comes to doing this kind of inner growth work. Bluster and bravado, faking it till you make it; those things can be appropriate and great in situations where impressions matter more than substance. I think they’re important skills. Sometimes you have to tell your emotions ‘not now, amigo. we’re doing something else.’ But sooner or later, you also need to shut up and listen to what they’re telling you. To do that you need to be in a space (physical, interpersonal, etc.) that feels safe.
I don’t have the answer to this question. (I know I’m the one asking it, not you). One idea that comes to mind is to make use of online therapy services. There are some where you just pay on a session to session basis, and you can keep switching to different people in the network until you find one that matches well with what you need. (Yes, there’s the risk of just therapist hopping and switching from one to another for less than good reasons, but hey, you have to trust yourself at some time.)
[Adding: I would also recommend either Person-Centered Therapy or Emotion-Focused Therapy as two therapy approaches that seem harmonious with what you’re working on. The therapist you described may have been using a Cognitive-Behavioral approach. A great approach, but some practitioners focus less on empathy.]
From a subliminals standpoint, it seems like it would make sense to pair up an emotional healing subliminal (Regeneration) with something like Inner Circle, to help to manifest those specific relationships, guides, etc., that are appropriate for your healing journey.
I was planning to use Inner Circle in the next phase of my own journey, but I (perhaps like you) also have a sense that I don’t want to be too swept up in relationships and interactions before I’m better at maintaining my own center. I find that I often listen more closely (and sometimes more passively) than many others do, and so, if I’m not careful, I end up allowing others’ points of view to dominate. So, I’ve decided to run Emperor first.