I am starting to wonder what might occur if I gave Ascension maybe a month by itself. Pondering this.
At my office, where I am spending 4.5 to 6 hours a day, I’ve now got Ascension and Aegis going. So I am getting probably 2 to 4 hours of listening to Aegis a day along with more time with Ascension, Primal Sed and Spartan.
Not much to say thus far today, but still on edge. Some anxiety or at least some sort of excess charge.
In a relatively negative state today. Worried about so much.
Ascension seems to be racheting up my sensitivity to irritants that I likely should be paying more attention to, but also assisting me in inflating minor annoyances into large irritants.
I guess I will just need to ride it out.
I am sure this is answered somewhere but searching can be such a long and involved process to get at exactly what one is looking for on the board.
I am trying to figure out if Daredevil, Inner Circle and PCC are incorporated into Stark. The ad copy confirms Daredevil, implies Inner Circle, but does not reference PCC, though I am pretty sure I saw somewhere that PCC is in Stark.
My other question is if these are stripped down versions of these programs? If so do they preserve full functionality of them?
Remaining in a low level state of pissed off agitation pretty much all the time. I feel a low level hatred for people and things.
I had a blow up over a situation online and then on the phone that I was frustrated with. There is a customer rep out there looking for a new job, as I am sure I had to have been the straw that broke the camel’s back for them. Oh well. Hopefully it leads to them acquiring a more fulfilling gig.
Morning again. Still super keyed-up and edgy. I have definitely felt more reconciliation on Ascension than any other sub I’ve used, including Emperor.
My take is that, at least for me, and at least at first, this is a real arrogance generator. I am figuring that is part of reconciliation.
I am just feeling so restless and agitated on Ascencion. It really helps me that I go into my office every day for a few hours, but it is even tough having to sit in front of a computer while I am there. That has always been a challenge but it just seems worse under the influemce of. Ascension.
Not sure what to say about how Primal Seduction or Spartan get catalyzed by Ascension or vice versa, but these should be extremely compatible and synergistic titles, as far as I would imagine.
For anyone who thinks they are getting Ascension via one of the other products that contains some variant of Ascension, and I have listened to Emperor a lot, this full version of Ascension alone just hits harder, and I am not even running it solo; I also have Prim SedQ, SpartanQ, and a bit of Aegis in the playlists.
There is something in Ascension that is making me way dickish and impatient in my dealings with the few humans I do interact with. I think it is a module I would name “Total Dick” or “Unrelenting Asshole”.
I do, however, think it is probably ultimately serving a positive purpose.
Yes to all three.
Well, about to begin another day. I have a big meeting today, it will be interesting to see how I feel and react to it. No anxiety now, at all. I am guessing I won’t feel it.
Interacting online with an ex-girlfriend who I had not spoken to her in several years, and had initiated reconnection. There is a tone of supplication and deference in her communication, which I hadn’t expected, though which, honestly, should be there as she interacts with me.
I am surprised at a lack of poise and a sense that she is not as intelligent or confident as I had thought her to be when we were dating. There is a sense, to me, of emptiness, like she needs someone to fill and prop her up.
I feel a bit like a cat toying with its prey. She had better be careful with how she handles this situation.
I am having zero patience with people I perceive as clueless or stupid. Just contempt.
I still keep feeling pumped up and arrogant. I am sure this is a shadow manifestation of Ascension that will all get worked out as the ideas in the sub get integrated.
I am thinking of suspending everything but the speaker running Spartan in my workout area and Aegis and otherwise just run Ascension for 1 or 2 weeks.
Finished my workout with the masked version of Spartan playing next to my workout area. I have gotten really consistent with doing my workout every night.
I use maces quite a bit and the ones I have are fixed weight. Looking at the possibility of getting one that uses olympic plates to be able to change the weight.
Slowly building the strength via caffeine and nootroopics to get in my car, drive and then trudge from the parking lot to the office.
I feel like we have done so much to make work, for the most part, as miserable and pointless as possible. It can be a real drain on a creative person like myself.
Working on conceptualizing other possibilities and determining a plan for action.
Interacted with a customer service rep for a large telecommunications company that I am contracted with. Communicated cogently but was also arrogant, mean and dismissive. I need to watch myself on Ascension. It is like I am forgetting my usual boundaries of decorum.
I am generally pissed off today.