Ascension, Primal Seduction and Spartan


#106

As all of us are, I am enduring coronavirus, and its resulting isolation. Here in the USA we’ve got widespread protest. I am thinking those are at least partly creating that sense of emptiness. I also tend towards the melancholic.

What is it about Primal Seduction that you feel feeds into this sense of emptiness?


#107

#108

well…my current stack is QLQ PSQ and ICQ…if I have to guess it might be the compound effect of both…with the increasing intelligence and newfound dominant animal side …I get annoyed by stupidity easily…old memories flashed back again and again…probably it is because a new different identity is forming…in order to do that successfully…my brain has to filter those experiences through this new lenses…the emptiness and disgust might just be resistance/reconciliation…that is the best I could guess…


#109

When I added Ascension to my stack it had a strong effect of making me more arrogant, impatient and intolerant, which I am guessing was potentiated by Primal Seduction and Spartan. I’ve always gotten annoyed by stupidity, but Ascension made it worse.

It did seem to be reconciliation rearing its head as this has somewhat faded.

I think it is interesting to see the synergystic effects and spikes in effect that occur as something new is added to a stack.

I think the emptiness is also to a great extent the “sickness unto death” that Kierkegaard talks about. I really do believe that life is empty and meaningless and I have felt this way since I was about 13 years old. The feeling peaks acutely at times in response to external stimuli.


#110

#111

weird enough…about the topic of death and meaningless life…I have also pondered upon since I was teenager…I always feel that there is no point of living…I mean…no matter what we do in life…we are reaching the undoubted destination…if there is an afterlife…to do what…the cycle just repeats itself again and again…and recently…since…I added PSQ…these type of thinking emerged …prior…PSQ…I had ran PS for three months…these kind of thoughts pattern rarely showed up …I do believe…with the extra power of Q…something deep has been brought up …if I have to guess the cause of it could be the childish pipedream that I unconsciously formed in my early age…the never answer question…why the world is so sick…and why people cannot be the as authetic and truthful as in the Disney‘ cartoon…everyone just acts weirdly and has alter motives…I now think these the cause of it…it is infantile…this bipolar way of thinking is toxicating and greatly limited my choice in life…now…PSQ is cleansing my internal state …this types of thoughts …inevitably have to be brought up and integrated again…I talk about a lot…negative thoughts…but I think these are just energy which has been misplaced/misused…I believe that once these have been reframed …i will come out much stronger as a man …well besides that…I do experience something really profound and astonishing…on my good days …I could undoubtedly feel QLQ working like charm…it is similar to the state I once had when I practice Image Streaming…my brain work really fast…and one thing I notice and have not seen anyone reporting on the forum is that since…I run QLQ my social intuition increases a lot …and this is not what I experience with PS or PSQ…I dont know why…


#112

I guess sooner or later a thinking person is going to encounter that sense of existential ‘emptiness’.

Nowadays I see it as a sign that one is moving from spiritual childhood to spiritual adolescence.

In childhood, it is natural to be utterly dependent on caregivers for survival. Our mindset in that stage is an expectation that our needs and the important information will be provided from the outside. Gradually as we develop and gain skills, competence, and so on, the ‘locus’ shifts. We gradually begin to locate our sense of security, our moral compass, our sense of what’s real, etc., inside of ourselves. We actively participate in creating these things, rather than simply receiving what is being offered to us.

The boundary between those two orientations can feel empty and meaningless.

Everyday you open the door to find an interesting or striking or beautiful painting lying on your doorstep. This goes on for years. Then one day, instead of finding a painting, you find a blank canvas. The next day, another blank canvas. The next weeks, more and more blank canvases.

At first you think, ‘does this mean all those paintings i received before were just some kind of prank? I thought they would always come!’.

Then one day, you decide to try your hand at painting. Eventually, you come to enjoy creating paintings as much as you used to enjoy receiving the already completed paintings.

You are officially an adolescent.

Later, you’ll leave this stage as well when, confident in your own skill and ability to express yourself in your own paintings, you become equally curious about other people’s processes of receiving or creating their own.

Meaning is not something you need to passively receive from Society or the World or whatever. Meaning is actually something you can contribute to the world. The potential to do this is part of your birthright as a human being.

Anyway, that’s another perspective on it.


#113

#114

PS has Supreme Rebirth in it. I remember guys starting Primal Seduction and being very melancholy for a period. Our sexual beliefs affect every relationship we have, and those healing modules have some power.


#115

Yes. I am sure that could be. I felt strong effects from Primal and then slightly less from Primal Seduction when it replaced it in the stack. I think the place I notice its effects most readly is in my sexual life. Sorry If I am scarce on details.


#116

#117

I feel more comfortable in my own skin, lately. I am thinking Primal most contributes to this feeling.


#118

I find it interesting that their is such complexity of feeling within us.

I can have a sensation of feeling more comfortable in my own skin, while at times feeling afflicted by social anxiety.

I can feel that I have a certain virtuoso power in interacting with women, especially online, while also concurrently feeling awkward as fuck.

I can feel almost complete despair at the direction the world is going in, yet happily go about my life for at least the day.


#119

#120

We get such distorted conceptions of other people.

I lived with a woman for just about 5 years. I recently reconnected with her, and some of my notions about her, actual things I thought were admirable, seem to no longer be true about her. In reality I was idealizing her and her capabilities. She was simply not the person my imagination had created to stand in her place.

I realized I did not need to have any regrets about the failure of our relationship. I was feeling guilt about a person who only existed in my imagination.


#121

That’s one courageous statement @dorfmeister

Hearing you say that makes me realize instantly that I’ve had the same imagined relationship with my mom. I make that shit up.


#122

#123

All of life comes to me
with ease, joy and glory.


#124

“Every day, in every way, I’m getting better and better” (French: Tous les jours à tous points de vue je vais de mieux en mieux )


#125