Took today off and was my first day off from subs this week.
I’ll be sure to stop after 5 days no matter what moving forward.
Out of pure will power and strength I got some prep for the week done,
some organizing, and worked on mapping out some goals down to specific actions.
I’ve been feeling pretty down today, lots of recon bloom, or maybe just life on a Sunday
with stuff I don’t want to deal with ahead of me this week. Although lots of physical symptoms are back today specifically, back pain, sinus stuff, hoping it’s recon bloom and cutting to a deeper layer of healing. As I’ve been doing extremely well on those fronts. It’s also likely connected with my emotional mood. Feel a million miles away from any of my goals, present to frustration and everything, hatred, feeling like time is flying by, everything is pointless.
I get days like this every now and then so I’m just watching the fireworks and trying not to get sucked into the whirlpool. I keep getting this screaming internal message ‘this is not what I want/ this is not what you wanted’ . Trying to give love to those tantrum-y part of myself, while distilling and honoring a deeper truth in it’s message.
anyway this will likely be gone by tomorrow, nothing to do or fix, just some heavy recon and
journaling it down for the Alchemical process