Black Adder Custom Sub Journal - "The Evolution"


#322

Gentlemen, calm down and be civil. @GoforIT (and everyone else), try not to make blanket assumptions about people’s intentions. @blackadder knows what he wants in life right now more than anyone else, and that’s not for anyone else to judge.

Furthermore, everyone, if someone wants to focus on wealth, or women, or creativity, that’s their choice. Please respect that. We’re here to help each other grow in the direction that they want to grow. Right now, I’m focused on wealth, financial freedom and artistic expression. Six years ago, however, I was very much focused on one thing – sex. Neither one of those phases of my life were better or worse, it’s just what I need / needed at the time.


#323

SaintSovereign, Co-Founder & Part Time Diplomate of Subliminal Club


#324

Day 46 -
2 loops Rebirth Ultima
2 loops of custom
2 loops of Libertine

Went to the gym this morning and i noticed that their was a new instructor there I asked her to weigh me. She kept giggling as she spoke to me now I do not know whether thats her as a person and she giggles at every guy or she was just giggling at me. I found this rather strange as giggling in my past experiences indicates that she is nervous and feels the tension.

Other then that went to a social event that same evening and spoke to a few women one a one however they were polite but I did not feel any kind of sexual tension or an body language cues that would indicate they were interested in me. There was one cute blonde girl that looked like absolute girl friend material she had all the physical attributes of a girl that I fancied. However again I didn’t feel there was anything there once I got talking to her so i moved on. Perhaps I just was not her type.

I have been experiencing bursts of anger right throughout the door. In the evening I felt angry again my thoughts seem to go back to the past where my father was treating me like shit. My mother was getting physically abused i began crying. Sick of this bullshit sick of people walking over me and trying to take advantage.


#325

This sounds like strong reconciliation and it could be preventing your auras from firing. Remember, the auras in the custom subs are designed to support the goals of the custom – they’re not quite standalone. So, if you’re having reconciliation about the rest of the script, it could hinder the auras.

On the flipside, based on the fact that the reconciliation is arising from familial issues, I’d say that it was Rebirth that brought this to the surface and not necessarily the custom…

Interesting results. @Fire and I will keep watching closely and will reach out with suggestions as soon as we have more information.


#326

Well…that is actually unexpected. So Approachability Aura is going to function differently in a custom that has Inner Circle vs PCC Q vs (both cores combined)? Hmm…


#327

This is a very meaningful picture, thanks for sharing!


#328

Day 47-

3 loops of custom
2 loops of Libertine

I removed rebirth from my stack and listened overnight. Felt a strong urge to want to wake up early morning and masturbate to porn.

I had NOT had this urge in such along time. I think this is reconciliatiion. In the end the urge was so overwhelming i got out of bed to go and release. Felt a mixture of anger and relief.and sadness. I felt an anger towards relationships i had in the past. Where i had allowed the woman to walk all over me and leave me for another man.

After a shower i went back to bed and restarted listening to my stack and began relistening to libertine. After completing libeetine my mood was back to a relaxed state.

I thought i was healed from past issues it looks like the subs just seem to dig deep and uncover horrible things.


#329

Hang in there man. I’m rooting for you.


#330

I dont understand i feel so heavily demotivated today. Even basic stuff like hoovering and cleaning the appartment seems like a huge chore.

I didnt realize the subs would have give me such a huge reconcilation. The early versions of Emperor, Primal and Khan never had such a negative effect on me.

All i feel now is a mix of anger and feeling demotivated.


#331


#332

Went out for a walk kept and eye out for any cues when women passed by me in the city as well as sales staff in shops who I interacted with on a one to one basis. No change in the way they behaved. From previous experiences of using aura based subs women fix me with a stare, begin touching their faces whilst staring at me, suddenly just bursting into giggles when i start talking to them. Not noticed any of these cues. Did try to open a cute girl on the street but she ignored me so I moved on.

I am struggling to carry out simple chores like keeping my appartment tidy. I just want to play music on youtube and chill.


#333

I am taking a few days off my custom. The reconciliation is effecting my work and demotivating me. Perhaps a few days reboot might help.


#334

Likely a good idea. Perhaps even work breaks into your schedule, e.g. “1 week off every 7 weeks”


#335

Thats not a bad idea mate will take a week off as i hardly ever took any breaks whilst listening.


#336

I may start doing this myself. Currently I listen on weekdays on rest on weekends but this week may very well just be a rest week. Noticed that lately I’ve not had much motivation to do stuff outside of work (besides browse this forum :joy:) and I suspect the breakdown is due to that


#337

That’s what I had in mind, last time we spoke to each other the theory of strong reconciliation blocking your aura was on the table…

When is the last time you took a break? Pretty sure you are the guy running the most dense stack on the forum, two loops of T^2! Also it seems your reconciliation is getting stronger and stronger! Pretty sure the break is a great idea :joy:

*sorry terminus


#338

He’s at just Terminus now

but in any case break is a good idea,

had my first day off today in a while and auras definitely seemed enhanced.


#339

A thread on listening patterns is merited!


#340

We all have to do this. I messed around and made a version of the original Blue Skies and put in Ultima format for testing purposes. I ran two loops and I’ve been almost out of commission for two days. Tonight’s a good night for a sub washout. Maybe even tomorrow too.


#341

Yeah, get you, I always take two days a week of break, saturday and sunday I don’t run anything except ultima state booster.