- This time of year, high summer, usually feels really stressful to me. I thought it was just the energy tides of the year. There was definitely a sense of conflict at this time, and it tended to synchronize with something happening in my life. Often this was the time I really felt that I had to “push through” something major. I’d get success and sometimes failure right about the time things started cooling off. Of course, I’d have a great deal of anxiety about which it would be.
Not this year. I feel relaxed, more at peace than I have since, I don’t know when. I’ve got a strong sense that I’m actually on the right path even if I can’t logically figure out how.
I don’t know if that’s because I’m really heading somewhere, or if I’m just able to accept that this is kind of a lost year and movement is impossible right now.
Are you noticing any effects from Dominion or Power Unleashed?
I don’t know. I can’t really attribute any certain thing I’m seeing to any certain module.
- I think that I’m going to be running this combo of customs through the end of the year. After that, right now I’m planning to devote next year to getting the job I want. Designing a custom for that is going to take some careful consideration. Actually, I’ll need two or three. The first one is about getting the job. And this is an emergency service position, so AM might not be what I need for it, the second is for excelling at the training which may take four to six months. It’s both academically and physically challenging. The third is to get through the three month on the job training phase.
Any suggestions on the getting hired one? It’s got to cover:
Manifesting the right opportunity and making sure I notice it.
Coming out on top of a very formalized and competitive interview process.
Making sure I don’t self sabotage either directly or through manifestation during the rest of the process.
Possibly a physical abilities test.
Anyone have any suggestions here? I’m not real sure which core to even start with.
- Interesting. I used to have to force positive self talk. Now it’s been springing into my head spontaneously. It used to be that the negative stuff did that. It still does very occasionally, but it’s mostly all positive now.
Not in any particular order or formation but here are the cores and modules I believe would benefit your undertaking
*mperor Fitness Stage 4
**IQ Enhancer **
**Negativity Displacer **
Potentiater -for noticing possibilities around you and acting on them
**If I were in your shoes I would do **
Quantum Limitless Stage 4
Potentiater -for noticing possibilities around you and acting on them
Alpha of Alphas
Leader of Men
I was a bit tired when I woke up this afternoon, and I think that at least part of it was sub hangover, but that’s ok, I’m getting towards my off days and I take that as a sign that the sub is definitely doing something.
I felt extremely good during my second and third loop of both subs tonight. I got into a very nice daydream state and was taken back to the year between the first college I went to and the second again. This time I got the impression that this isn’t just idle fantasy. There is a purpose to it.
I think that that was a time when I had the chance to re invent myself and recognize some of the patterns I was harming myself with. I think about what it would be like if I’d had the self improvement tools and insights available then that I do now.
Tonight, I was thinking about an interaction I’d had with my mother. I said “I’m in charge of me from here on in to her”. The phrase stuck in my head, and it’s important for obvious reasons. I didn’t say it then, and my mother has been trying to maintain and re assert her power over me ever since then.
After my loops I realized how little self doubt I actually have anymore. I don’t feel like I’m abjectly awesome all the time, but the doubts about being good enough or able to do anything that used to be in my head all the time are gone.
I’m still very unsatisfied with quite a few aspects of my life, but I no longer think that it’s that way because I suck.
During my loops tonight I was thinking about how my father treated me from about age six to about age 22 when I left, and why I tolerated it for so long. He was an emotionally destroyed man who took out his anger at the universe on the one person he thought he had power over. Part of it was that despite all that, he was the good parent compared to my mother.
The other part though I figured out when the phrase “feed the dog, kick the dog” came into my head.
More or less, he treated me like crap, but kept me coming around by being very materially generous. I’m not feeling upset about that. I just realized that that’s one of the ways that I’ve allowed myself to be walked on. I’ve been walked on a lot in my earlier life, and I think that more such lessons will come to me.
I really belief this is to attribute to Ares.
Good chance it is Ares, Februus or a combination of the two. All I know is that I’ve never felt this kind of quiet confidence before.
- This afternoon (when I was cooking dinner, naturally) a salesman for a pest control company rang the doorbell. My wife went out first which is often a bad thing because these people are often able to talk her into buying and signing up for things we don’t need and can’t afford. So if she was involved it would often turn into her and the salesman trying to talk me into whatever.
I also usually used to feel pushed when someone was trying to convince me to buy or do something. Does anyone else know what I’m talking about? It’s almost a physical feeling. Maybe a little like being pushed a bit off balance.
That’s not how this one played out. I was polite and friendly to the guy, but I decided before I even knew what he was selling that it was a no, and I didn’t feel the slightest bit of that off balance feeling.
I said a couple of things that indicated no, but he kept talking, so I said “I’ll save you some time, we’re a definite no for the time being.” He tried to keep going a little, but I could tell that that took the wind out of his sails.
My wife didn’t try to convince me or him, she just stepped aside when I came out, barely said another word, and let me handle it.
There’s a good chance I wouldn’t have bought it before, but it would have been a lot more difficult and I’d have felt uncomfortable. Zero discomfort this time.
- I was wearing a mask when my female co worker took over for me this morning. She said “That’s a good look on you”. Old me, even a year or two would say something like, yeah, I’m so ugly I’d cause an accident.
I believe I mentioned on some journal a while ago that I got rid of that kind of self deprecating humor. I went one better though. I said “I know, I’m so good lookin that it would cause a safety hazard if I didn’t wear this” in a strong and cheerful voice. That’s a HUGE difference from the old me. I’m changing and I like it.
Are you playing 3x dominion 3x ure 5 days on and 2 off?
I had a good two days off subs. There was no fade out of the effects as far as I could tell. I felt good both days, my body language stayed at the extreme high level that it’s gotten to, and there was no self doubt creeping back in.
My brother-in-law came to town with his significant other to get some baby stuff. I didn’t dread the socializing like I usually would. We went out to dinner. This is the first time I’ve really spent any time in a public environment since I’ve started on my custom.
I felt really good about it, there was no anxiety or agoraphobia. I bantered with everyone and the waitress spent a a whole lot of time standing right by my shoulder chatting with us, and revealed a lot of personal details. She wasn’t flat out flirting with me, but very friendly.
I think I’ve gotten to the point that I am somewhat used to my customs. I feel less while I’m running them, and consciously feel less different when I’m not. I hit this point with any sub I’m on long enough, but these customs really set a speed record. The last two nights, it felt like I was running nothing. At first it felt like the effects were going away, but when I really think about it, they’re not. It just feels more like my normal now, so I don’t notice as much. I would have had the urge to switch a while ago, but now I know that there’s either slow and steady progress or a series of breakthroughs to come.
Just for the heck of it, I ran a loop of limit destroyer Ultima through my bone conduction headphones today as well. That felt very different while running. I can’t really put my finger on what it’s done afterwards though.
Have you tried taking any breaks? This is a very normal phenomenon as you start to build ‘tolerance’, or reconciliation, taking a break most likely results in leaps of results.
The more you’re out of the state that the subliminal brings you in the more you’ll experience the ‘state shift’ that you mentioned.
I don’t think that’s Necessary beyond my usual two days a week. In my experience, when the progress I’m making starts to feel normal, that’s when reconciliation has stopped and deeper more permanent changes are happening.
I’ve stopped feeling super amazed at how confident ect. I’m feeling, which means that feeling that way is becoming normal for me.
In other words, this feels more like a deeper acceptance of the script than reconciliation. I could be wrong of course.