Digger’s Journey to becoming a Quantum Mogul


#81

QL ST1 DAY36

So it turns out that another cousin of mine had a birthday yesterday. This is the older sister of the cousin I dreamed of last night. Coincidence? Dunno really. We were never really that close and that I only found out about the birthday today. Though as kids, my parents used to bring us to their family’s place. But that was a long time ago.

Aside from that, cough and colds were making both me and my wife lazy as fuck! All we wanted to do was just sleep. Meds can really put a number on you.


#82

QL ST1 DAY37 (early update)

Shortly after getting my kids ready for school a thought suddenly popped up:

Anger is an emotion you typically feel when you loose control.

If that being so, does this mean that I “need” to be in control? What would I feel if I “willingly” give up control? Or to what extend should I “control” things? Or do I even need to be in control? What is the difference between being in control to being in charge?

Questions questions questions…


#83

QL ST1 DAY37

Still pondering on why that thought from earlier today popped up. It felt more like a whisper from deep inside of me. Could it be my subconscious telling me something?

Had a mini-team meeting today. Turns out the higher-ups may indeed decide to go with a different direction with regards to the project I proposed a long time ago. Felt slightly depressed but more or less accepted that fact. Was actually also slightly mad. Just held my tongue. But all the while thinking, how much commission is the project manager getting for sealing the deal with the 3rd party vendor? Or how much bonus would he get if simply gets that “product” out?

After the meeting, I was thinking it was best it I just didn’t care so much about my job. Maybe I should just act as a drone and do whatever the hell they wanted? Maybe I wouldn’t then give a damn?

And yet, if I did just that, what “added value” would I bring? Wouldn’t that make me expendable then?

It’s all contradictory. I feel like my whole situation is a damned irony. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.


#84

Oh man… just seeing all those [SOLO] and [STACKED] threads popping up in the forum makes me want to join the Q testing.
Oh man… I really really wish I could. I really really wish I have the strength to continue here.


#85

QL ST1 DAY38

So wife told me that I am not that angry anymore. According to her, although I still shout, I am not that confrontational anymore and my kids find me more approachable. This is big for me. As even with Khan, I easily get angry. More so when I tried out Ev4.

This is actually the reason why I hesitate joining the EQ testing club. I’m afraid that whatever progress I have made with my current stack may fall apart if I try out EQ. Even if many say that EQ is smoother compared to Ev4, it is just too early to say how it may affect me in the long run.

And yet, here I am, wishing I could join. I feel like a kid whose parents didn’t allow to go to a classmate’s birthday party.


#86

Wow.

That is incredible, man. Your subconscious must indeed have been telling you something when it talked about anger. That’s really wild.

What are you running again right now? Only Quantum Limitless?


#87

@Malkuth
Morning stack: (masked)

  • AM
  • QL ST1

Evening stack: (ultra)

  • Mogul
  • QL ST1
  • SM (every now and then :wink: as suggested by @Simon )

I set my evening stack to ultrasonics so that my wife can also benefit and learn to appreciate money and help me save more. This is also why I refrain from using alpha subs at night.


#88

Looks very strategic and solid.


#89

@Malkuth - Thank you. Like your run with EoG, I’m planning on running QL for at least 2 months per stage. Although, I must admit, with the new breakthroughs SC is doing with quantum tech, project q, etc, it is very tempting to switch stacks.


#90

QL ST1 DAY39

When I slept last night, I was having a very painful headache. When I woke up this morning, the headache was still there. Took 3 Tylenols to be able to finally move properly.

Took my family to a neighbor’s birthday party. It was their daughter’s 1st birthday. Although we were not really close, I felt that they were happy we came. Part of me wished that we could get to know them more but with lots of kids running around, it was very difficult to get a long conversation.

Now that I realized that I’m starting to calm down more, a part of me feels like it wants to burst out whenever my kids get noisy and rowdy. It’s like a part of me likes getting mad? I don’t know really.

But lately, I’ve been stepping back and letting my wife handle the kids. I just point her to one misbehaving kid and there she goes. Another part of me feels that since her reconciliation is still under way and she’s angry easily, maybe she’s angry enough for the 2 of us and me getting mad may make matters worse?


#91

It feels like one can sense tectonic shifts occurring beneath the surface events that you describe. You have a busy and engaged home life, but it’s almost like one can sense an internal quiet that’s developing in the midst of that. That’s really interesting.

Either way, wishing more good for you and yours.


#92

@Malkuth - sorry. I don’t understand what you’re trying to say here. Is it like something similar to the calm before the storm? Or is it the fact that I’m starting to be calmer while my wife is getting angrier? Please do elaborate.

In any case, thanks for the kind words.


#93

Not surprising that it’s vague and unclear, since it’s more of an intuitive, psychic sense that I’m trying to articulate. I was vague and unclear in expressing it.

You’re using Mogul, Ascended Mogul, Quantum Limitless. I feel like I can sense the subconscious changes that are occurring in you over time. It’s not dramatic and explicit, like some kind of 1980s game show; but it feels real. This is what I mean by the tectonic shifts that are occurring—the shifting of the subconscious.

One outward expression of this seems to be a kind of increasing internal calm and ability to observe and see opportunities in the midst of busyness, noise, and activity. That’s what generals do. Other people can also think of good ideas, but generals can do it in the midst of an actual freaking crisis or in the midst of a very busy project. The fact that you’re finding yourself noticing more and observing more, even though the external world has not somehow become super quiet, suggests to me that you are developing this General ability. Like the ability that NFL coaches have, or any coaches really. There’s so much noise and there are so many moving parts, and somehow, rather than shutting down, they become even more focused. This same capacity—of internal quiet in the midst of busyness—appears to be strengthening in you. You’re less overwhelmed (as evidenced by the gradual dropping in your losses of temper). It probably won’t be a linear process. Life doesn’t usually move in straight lines, but the progression is nevertheless clear.


#94

@Malkuth - Thank you for that clear explanation. To be honest, I have never considered this shifting in my subconscious. And thank you for seeing these changes even if I have not noticed much change in me.


#95

QL ST1 DAY40 (early update)

What’s up with my brain lately? Few days it was about anger. Now, another thought popped up:

Evolution is an organism’s way of surviving through the changes in its environment.

Change outside requires change within lest one dies. But then, what changes am I seeing? Am I consciously manifesting changes without?


#96

Really digging witnessing how Quantum Limitless seems to be igniting your contemplative and emotional intelligence.

It makes me wonder how it will affect me


#97

I guess intelligence is not just limited to book smarts but emotional as well. Also the ability to contemplate and discern what’s happening around you.

Although, as I said previously, I really don’t feel it per se. But then again, maybe that’s just part of my Johari window. Maybe the changes in me are somethings I don’t see yet others perceive.


#98

QL ST1 DAY40

I must admit, I regressed. As mentioned yesterday:

And I let that part bust out. I got mad at my kids, and argued with my wife. Although, looking back, given that my wife is also going through some reconciliation of her own, it’s really a bad combination. Given that she’s been highly volatile, it’s really a very bad argument. It’s really taking a lot of my will power right now to dig up skeletons inside the closet and put more fuel to the fire.


#99

QL ST1 DAY41

With regards to work, I can’t say that I’m happy as there is a lot of crap and politics at the office. However, for the first time, in a long time, I finally felt satisfied to work. Neither happy, nor sad. Neither meh nor nah. Just feeling a sense of “contentment” I think?

I really don’t know why. Before, after dropping my kids off at school, I’d normally go home and take a nap. Today, I went straight to my computer and started installing tools and software I need. Even if the installation was taking some time, I couldn’t get myself to sleep.

While driving to the office (I attend meetings face-to-face every other week), I usually feel like I just have to go. Today, I cannot say I was excited to go, but was at least looking forward to the meeting?

I don’t know what caused this change in perception really. Nor do I really love my job. But at least I get to work and get paid. And paying the bills is more important?


#100

Things are looking up for you, @d1gz. Good stuff :+1: