Digger’s Ultima Experience


#41

Stage2-A Day1 update

So It’s been roughly 4 hours since I listened to 1 loop of Stage2-A. I really don’t know what to look for here. Maybe because I had StarkQ in my stack prior to Ultima testing that I don’t notice any difference?

I mean, I feel more playful. But then, that’s what I also felt before Ultima. I feel like I have a lot of ideas for projects both personal and work, but that’s also what I felt before.

What I do feel different is that my foot starts to hurt again. I’m not sure if it’s because Stark ultima is different than Stage1. But without knowing what was actually in Stage1 I really cannot say.


#42

Stage2-A Day2

Given that there’s no word regarding a TestB for Stage2, I decided to run A today. I literally just finished 1 loop 1 minute ago. And I really don’t know what to think.

Same as yesterday, maybe my experience with StarkQ has affected my perceptions that I cannot discern anything with this stage? However, I have been experiencing palpitations since I woke up until now. Not sure if it’s really the sub, too much coffee, too little sleep (I slept around 3AM and woke up at 5AM), a combination of 2 or more? or something else?

I have, however, been worrying about work since I woke up. I’m not sure but negativity about my job has been popping up since I woke up. Not sure if it’s recon or what. Or maybe because I’m dreading today’s meeting.

As I wrote in an earlier entry, I am trying to look for postives in things. Grateful that I am still employed. Grateful that I have a home to call my own. Grateful for my wife and kids. But at the back of my mind,… I worry…

I’ll update in about 4 or 5 hours…


#43

Stage2-A Day2 Update

Got bored at the meeting right now. Decided to play another loop of Ultima Stage2A.

Good thing it’s a skype meeting so I can play the sub on VLC player and it wouldn’t interfere.


#44

Stage2-A Day2 Final Update

So it’s been about 4.5 hours since I listened to my 2nd loop of Stage2-A. Foot feels better. Although I’m not sure if it’s the sub or not really. Although StarkQ may have some physical “alteration” aspects, I’m not sure if healing is one of them. And yet, I did not take any pain meds, so who knows?

Also, compared to yesterday wherein I played only 1 loop, I feel a lot “lighter”, calmer and more cheerful(?) after 2 loops. Normally a long boring and winding meeting would make me feel wound down and tired. And yet, I’m able to still study now. Although a 30 minute nap before the meeting may have helped with that?

Again, I don’t really know. All I know is that my noisy kids have not irritated and rattled me today (which is good). My wife has been calmer around me (or me around her?) and I’m actually more contemplative(?) now.


#45

Stage2-A Day3

So it’s been a little over 4 hours since I played 1 loop of Stage2. Am Currently listening to my 2nd loop for the day.
I’m not sure if the sleepiness/drowsiness I felt this morning is because of the sub, the fact that my sleep schedule has been in disarray since the whole Covid19 thing, something else, or a combination. In either case, I fell asleep while listening to my 1st loop this morning. I was sitting on my recliner and just closed my eyes. When I opened them, I found that 30 minutes have gone by. Prior to falling asleep, I was thinking of something but I can’t remember right now.
Thoughts of childhood experiences have begun surfacing. My imaginary friend, the places I used to live in, my long gone relatives, and more. I’m not sure if it’s reconciliation or not.
I also noticed that my weight’s been going down somewhat. Not so much but gradual. Given the fact that I injured my foot a few days ago, my fitbit shows that I’m only taking at most 6000 steps these past few days, and that I haven’t exercised in a while, I feel like my metabolism kicked up.
Speaking of my foot, there is barely any pain right now. Although I walk with a very slight limp, I am able to stand on it with minimal support. Again, I’m not sure if it’s the sub, but then again, why should I question it? I’m just grateful I can walk better.
As an added thought, somehow, I feel that this stage affects me much differently compared to both stage 1’s A and B tests. This stage, I feel that I need to run 2 loops with a long pause in between to feel/see differences. Whereas with Stage1’s B, it actually felt like a big punch hitting me. As far as I know, and from what I understand, A and B have basically the same content but using different builds. And it looks like Stage2 is built using something similar to Test1’s A build. This is probably why I feel that I need 2 loops for this stage.


#46

Stage2-A Day3 Update

So it’s been a little over 4 hours since I played my 2nd loop. Given that I was working while playing my 2nd loop, I can’t say much about how I felt during that time. However, I was really concentrating on my work. So maybe it helps with focus?
Also, I felt drowsy afterwards and took a 30 minute nap shortly. I’m not sure if the sub tires me out or what. But a nap sure helps!
Music really makes me feel better. Been playing music whenever appropriate. Also been singing every now and then. Helps bring up my mood.


#47

Stage2-A DAY4

So it’s been almost 5 hours since I played my 2nd loop. Just like yesterday, I played my 1st loop in the morning and then about 4-5 hours later, I played my 2nd loop.
Not really sure what to say about all this. Been tired mostly. Not sure if it’s because I slept almost 4am and then woke up at 8am, or because my brain’s been working overdrive.
Took a nap shortly before listening to my 2nd loop. Not sure if it’s the sub, or the nap, but I think I now have a little more energy to study.
Been feeling like I need to do stuff. Although my work actually requires me to sit down for hours on end (work in IT). So I’m not sure why I also feel a bit restless.
Music really really helps to calm me down. Been belting out tunes whenever I can. Although I’m dreading tomorrow. I have 2 meetings that are both boring and I get nothing out of them really. If not for the fact that they’re required, I wouldn’t really be attending. So yeah. Maybe I’ll just play the subs while on the call.


#48

Stage2-A DAY5

For the first time in weeks, last night I slept around 1am. Most nights, I’ve been sleeping past 3am. And though I slept much longer, I still feel sleepy.
Am currently listening to my 1st loop while also joined to my 1st skype meeting of the day. So I’m not sure if it’s making me sleepier or the fact that I have been lacking sleep for weeks now.
In addition, I woke up to a minor headache. Popped a couple of Tylenols. Hoping this does not get worse.


#49

Stage2-A DAY5 Update

So it’s been 1 hour after my 2nd loop. I actually fell asleep after my morning meeting earlier. Slept for about an hour. But I’m still sleepy.
I attended my 2nd meeting for today while again playing my 2nd loop. Not sure why, but I’m still sleepy! Could it be the sub, my long winded meetings, the fact that my sleep schedule is still a bit whacked? I really don’t know.
One thing I noticed today while playing the sub both times was that about halfway through listening, I started talking more during the meeting. I started giving my opinions and ideas more. Even though I felt sleepy and tired, and was yawning a lot, I still felt this drive to actively participate.
I know I complain about the meetings being long, winded and shit. Although they really are, and I still consider them a waste of time, really, I really don’t know why I had this push to at least try to make it more productive for me at least. The thing is, however, I’m really not sure if by talking in these meetings, I get something in return. I mean, it’s only my boss and teammates who are there. And now, looking back, I feel like kicking myself simply because I kept my mouth shut in the meeting last week wherein the VP actually was talking. Kind of ironic really. Maybe next time I should be speaking up when he’s around.
Oh before I forget, with regards to any physical changes, I noticed that I’ve been flexing/contracting both my abs and the muscles on my limbs a lot more. At first I thought it was nothing. But then I noticed that as each day passed, I’ve been doing it more. Maybe this is what’s causing my weight to at (if not be constant) least decrease somewhat. Similar to dynamic tension, wherein one flexes and contracts the muscles? I don’t know. I’m not really an expert on physical fitness. But then if it works, why complain?
Will provide an update in about 2-3 hours from now.


#50

Stage2-A DAY5 Update 2

Nothing much to report. Fell asleep again before dinner. Been feeling really sleepy lately.
Not sure why I feel bad sometimes. And sometimes I feel good. Not sure if it’s recon or what. But sometimes it’s like a roller coaster ride. And it’s supposed to be Stark! I used to have StarkQ in my stack.


#51

How’s the foot/ankle?


#52

Not so good @Malkuth. I think I may have aggravated it again. Thanks for the concern though.


#53

Stage2-A DAY6

So I decided to give myself a foot rub last night. Felt good massaging my tired feet. However, by doing so, I may have pressed too hard on some spots as my foot started swelling again this morning. To make matters worse, I had to carry 4 heavy bags of potting soil for my wife’s new project. So yeah. I’m limping again. We’ll see later how it goes.
Am currently listening to my 1st loop of the day. As implied, I had a very busy morning today. Took my kid to the dentist and then went straight to a store selling gardening supplies.
As of now, although I can feel my foot throbbing, I’m grateful that at least I was able to drive back home and get the supplies out of the car.
Will update how it goes later.


#54

Stage2-A DAY6 update

Fell asleep listening to 1 loop earlier. Same as before, been feeling tired and sleepy most days.
Part of me is actually missing my old stack. Not really sure how Ultima is affecting me. At times it’s like the ultimate sub, effects are felt almost instantaneously, while at times, it feels like either nothing or a bunch of reconciliation.
Maybe because Stage2 is based out of Stark and it’s been part of my previous stack before I joined the Ultima test group.


#55

Stage2-A DAY7

Just finished my 2nd loop today. As usual, fell asleep while it was playing.
Nothing much to report really. Been having a mild headache and the pain in my foot is still there. Took a couple of Tylenols to help with both.
Aside from that, been pretty tired. Will update later today.


#56

Stage2-A DAY7 update

It’s been about 5 hours since I listened to my 2nd loop of the day. Felt really lazy maybe because I’ve been tired the past week. Maybe the sub’s too much? Too much burnout?
I don’t really know.
Also remembered some past incidents wherein I felt humiliated and ashamed. Recon? Maybe?