Digger's Khan Journal


#202

I hear you, man.

Maybe somebody else has some practical insight to offer. All I know is, this crap gets difficult sometimes.

Well maybe one thing I’ll say. It’s probably hard for her too. She’s making mistakes too. Heh. That’s not much of a solution, but, probably true.

Hopefully she can understand the stress that’s on you, and you can learn more about the stress on her.

And then we can all be fucking stressed together. (That’s a joke.).

And then there can be greater understanding and support.:massage_man::massage_woman:‍♀:person_in_lotus_position:‍♂

Hang in there, bro.


#203

@d1gz - yeah, there are moments when we slide back to behaviors we don’t like. It’s one of those “two steps forward and one step back”. But you will eventually get where you want. Not perfect sailing for me either but better than before using subs. Treasure the improvements and be okay with our mistakes.


#204

ST4 DAY5

It’s still morning but feels like it’s already late. So after fighting with the wife, things seem to have settled down a bit. But shit, we now both have cough and cold. Feels like my nose is a leaky faucet.
I don’t know if it’s reconciliation or the subs but I feel so weak. Either that or because I’m subconsciously worried about my oral surgery in 2 days. I know it’s gonna effing hurt! Both my mouth and my wallet.
Also thanks to @raphael and @Malkuth for the kind words.


#205

ST4 DAY6

Been having a lot of good rapport with a lot of people lately. Even though I still had colds and cough, people were acknowledging me everywhere I go.

Still worried about my oral surgery tomorrow. Although I try not to show it. Honestly, I’m more worried for my wife as she has to shoulder the burden of picking up my kids and all that comes after.


#206

All the best on the surgery, @d1gz


#207

@raphael - surgery went fine. Still stings a bit though. Will find out in 6 weeks whether or not it went well. Will probably listen to some Sapien Medicine tracks in the meantime. I heard some of his tracks help with gum and tooth regeneration. Thanks!


#208

@raphael - speaking of Sapien Med, I came across his patreon and there was a track for eye regeneration. I recall you were looking for help regarding this one a while back. Not sure if you still need it though. But just in case, I just wanted to let you know.


#209

Thank you, @d1gz. Am aware of it but not yet purchased it. Have tried his youtube video for eye regeneration but didn’t notice much difference. Maybe have to do it for a long time.

Wishing you a quick recovery.


#210

Yeah, I guess it depends on a lot of factors @raphael. However, when I tried gum regeneration, I felt tingling in my gums as soon as I played it. Maybe it’s placebo, maybe not. But if it works, then why should I care, right?


#211

@d1gz - That’s really cool. Am curious. Did you purchase the audio? Or just use the YouTube version? Also, is it okay to use along with SubClub subs?


#212

@raphael - I first tried the YouTube version. When I felt my gums tingling, I decided to go to his Patreon site and try that one. Right now, I feel only a little pain. So either the dentist is good or it’s working, in either case I am feel better than expected.
As for mixing it with subclub’s subs, I still listen to my stack after playing it. I don’t feel bad or don’t see any negative effect. Maybe it’s a little early to say. But for now, I think it’s ok.


#213

@d1gz - that’s real good. I guess morphic fields are fine with Subclub subliminals. Will try the YouTube version first before making purchases.

Also, Sapien Medicine is one of the first channels I found on youtube when looking for a cure for my eyes (I still need more healing). I just didn’t try it long enough. And then I felt it didn’t work and thought neither would other subliminal youtube channels. Was on and off subs for years.

SubClub made me a believer from the results it gave me. And that makes me reconsider Sapien Medicine too.

Thanks for the advice.


#214

ST4 DAY7

Surgery seems to be a success. Very little pain. And when I spat earlier just to see if there was any bleeding, I didn’t see even a tiny drop.
While at the dentist, people were very friendly. I was even joking and laughing with the receptionists and nurses. Must have been a premonition that I had nothing to worry. Even when signing the papers regarding the payment scheme, I was still pretty cool. Normally I would be sweating about the cost. Not sure why I was not even worried. Could it be my subconscious telling me that good things will soon come?
Still pigging out on ice cream and cake, so my weight is definitely going to go up. But even that, I’m not particularly worried.
Could it all be attributed to Khan?
Was sleeping through most of the day as the sedative made me extremely tired and sleepy. But suddenly felt the need to study. Couldn’t really do much because my wife slept early due to cough (she drank cough medicine so it’s expected she’d be sleepy), and I didn’t want to disturb her. But the urge to study and learn may be because of both Khan and QL.


#215

ST4 DAY8

Given that I can’t eat solid food, I finished a 1.5Qt tub of ice cream yesterday. Went to the grocery earlier to get more food for me. Got noticed a lot by the people there. Even allowed to go through the express register even if I was buying more than 20
items.
People seem to be helpful and accommodating too.
Checked my weight. Given that I had cough and colds. And then got my gums stitched up, I couldn’t exercise. Plus all the sugar I’ve been eating. Really saw a big increase in weight. But instead of feeling down, like I usually do, I honestly couldn’t care less. Which is weird really. I mean, that’s wasn’t me at all! Could it be the sub telling me I’m gonna be fine?
Checked my bank account and outstanding bills. Normally the thought of losing money would get me down. Again, I feel like I shouldn’t worry. I mean, I felt a bit down, but only for a moment. And to be honest. It scares the crap out of me. Like, how can I not care? How can I not give a damn about bills and mortgage and all our expenses? Could it also be my subconscious telling me everything’s going to be ok?
Got pissed at my boss’s boss (my upper-level manager). He keeps on asking for updates regarding a 3rd party test for our product, and all the reports I send explain every problem our product has with each run of the test. It’s basically a summary of our product’s shortcomings and the guy does nothing to fix our product! I almost sent an email telling him straight our product sucks (in a little more subtle manner) which is basically career suicide. Shortly before I pressed send, he sent another email that we might shift to a different testing company which is more lenient. Got to breathe a little there.


#216

ST4 DAY9

Seriously considering adding PCC to my stack. My 2nd-level manager even has me working on weekends, even if he does not seem to really and thoroughly review my reports.
Had no choice but to outright mention some problems the product has. Call it career-suicide but as an engineer, I really hate fudging the facts and prefer giving them straight and unbiased.
Seems to be QL working it’s magic since normally analyzing 3 examples of the problems tests have shown, would normally take me 3 hours (1 hour/sample). Now I am done in 1 hour. Big improvement if I may say so.


#217

PCC is about gentle indirect influence:

Law 45

Law 19

As for your wife’s spending and gifting:

Law 40


#218

This is actually one of the reasons why I am considering PCC. I don’t really have that finesse to gently and indirectly influence. Normally, I just charge head-on, which, I know, is not often effective, especially when dealing with stubborn and/or stupid people.


#219

ST4 DAY9

It’s only noon now, but I feel so frigging buzzed. Got into another argument with the wife. It was my turn to cook and watch over the kids. While it was her turn to sleep in.
Simply texted her because I couldn’t find my son’s favorite vienna sausage in the pantry. Wasn’t expecting an elephant to come down the stairs trampling over stuff. First instinct was to fight fire with fire.
Argument got bigger and bigger. But then I decided to show her shit by finishing the margarita mix left over from thanksgiving. So yeah. Buzzed but not throwing up. Looking at it retrospectively, I shouldn’t have done it. But I really tend to do stupid shit when I’m mad. (Although my spelling and grammar may seem fine from my pov, I apologize of it isn’t so right now).
Finally put my foot down and told her to march her ass back upstairs and go to sleep or so help me, I’d spank her like a brat she’s acting to be. That shut her up. Now, I’m buzzed while feeding my kids lunch. What better way to spend a lazy Sunday while waiting how Emperor V4 turns out?


#220

ST4 DAY9 Part2

Maybe it’s QL working on my brain, but after only an hour my buzz was gone! In any case, I’m proud to have stood my ground, without having to use any physicality.
Now, funny thing is, my wife keeps on touching me. Like a switch just turned her on and she can’t stop. Either that or because it’s that time of month and her hormones are out of whack.
Am currently “working” again on this never-ending project. Yes, the one wherein my 2nd level boss keeps on asking updates for but never actually reada my recommendations. Am really seriously thinking of adding PCC. But would khan, pcc and ql fry my brain as a result?
Currently testing a hypothesis of mine on this project. If it actually works, then I can really tell them something’s wrong with their code. However, test takes about 30 minutes to finish. Good thing QL seems to make analysis so much easier for me.


#221

ST4 DAY9 Final Update

So it’s getting late here. Really really really considering adding pcc. But would my brain be able to handle pcc khan and ql?
Based from @SaintSovereign’s response regarding morphic fields, I decided not to pursue using them, even if I was using them for my gum health. And that my gums no longer hurt, just a bit irritated because of the stitches.
As expected, my earlier hypothesis was correct. Emailed my boss’s boss about it and kept insisting that there is indeed a problem with the product. As a way out, I even suggested that we have the 3rd party testers use a different product of ours. This one, I am 99% sure is way better than the one we were using for the tests. That way, he can still be lazy and not do anything and at the same time, show that I am working and also show that I know what I am doing.
Next thing you know, the guy emailed the other department manager asking if we can switch products for the test. Hehehe