Digger's Khan Journal


#41

DAY27

Slept a little past midnight last night. Not sure if it’s because of that or not, but I woke up 30 minutes later than usual. Lately I’ve been sleeping around 11:30-ish.
After some thought, I’m not sure anymore if it’s my subconscious “fighting back” or not. But as I mentioned earlier, I’ve been thinking about remote viewing the future and magick for wealth. Given that both are more attuned to Alchemist rather than Khan, is it possible that my subconscious is looking for a way out or an excuse to stop with Khan? I mean ST1 isn’t called Total Breakdown for nothing. So it just me making an excuse or is it me looking for opportunities, or ways to reach my goal?


#42

Well, continue until you finish Khan ST2. That one is supposed to help you find the right bath.

Then, in 33 days from now, if you stay wanting to metaphysically make money, there is something serious there. If the wish disappears and something shiny and new replaces it, you know it’s reconciliation.


#43

Agreed. As usual, thank you @AMASH for the insight.


#44

Reconciliation is a tricky beast, and it convinces you so easily, which is the most insidious thing. But like @AMASH said keep it going, then re-evaluate once your there.


#45

Yes. It is indeed a tricky beast @Michel. Thank you.


#46

DAY28

Multiple thoughts and emotions have been flooding me lately.
I remember over 20 years ago (yes I am old) when my dad first introduced me to self-hypnosis and subliminals. He ordered a mail-order cassette tape (I’m sure a lot of you have only heard about this but never really seen one) to help me with my high school Algebra. This is probably why I am so fascinated with hypnosis, subliminals and the human mind in general.
I have also come to the realization that I resent my wife. Though I love her so much, I have blamed her for my financial problems. It is because of her desire to throw kids parties, buy the latest and greatest toys for my kids and a lot more expenses that I incurred a lot of credit card debt some years ago. To this day, I still blame her that. And yet, shouldn’t I be blaming myself since I simply did what she wanted? This is probably one of the reasons why I went with Khan in the first place.
I also resent my father-in-law as he spoiled my wife rotten. I guess I feel more animosity towards him now that he’s “visiting” us and would stay here until early next year. He spoiled his kids to the point that he needs financial help from his kids now. The thing is, I get mad even more knowing that I gave him money for his expensive hearing aid that he rarely uses. I got even more mad for times where he doesn’t really think. But then is it really him or is it because I’m afraid that I might end up just like him?
Makes me wonder. Is it me looking for excuses for my problems or is it really other people who are my problems?


#47

Why not simply say “No” to them, and let them deal with their own problems?

They are adults after all. They can care for themselves.


#48

I had some similar “resent” issues lately…as recently as just a few months ago. I have been using Faster EFT to tap out on some of that, and it’s definitely caused some shifts.

Actually one of the things that “shifted” is me buying Emperor and Rebirth here. The FEFT got me from the place of “There’s more important stuff I can use that money for, like Bills, food etc”…to “This is an investment in my and our future together.”

She was taken a bit aback when I bought it…but I told her that it’s so I can get better with money among other things that will improve our quality of life.

Hope this comment isn’t too out of place here. Your comment about the resentments resonated with me 100% though.


#49

I’ve tried @AMASH but it was so much headaches that I felt it easier to just give them what they wanted. It is only now that I’m starting to be firm. Although I must admit, it’s so damned hard!
For example. Last night wife wanted to rearrange the furniture in our bedroom. Based on experience, after moving a lot of heavy stuff around, either we put them back to their original position, or only make minor changes. So I said no. She gave me the cold silent treatment. We went to bed without talking.
Right now, I’m taking measurements of the room and all our furniture. Then make will make a rough model so that she can think of how she wants to rearrange it first before we start moving stuff around. Because I have a strong feeling that if I allow her to move stuff, I would still end up having to do the heavy lifting.
Makes me think of my dad’s favorite quote. “Women, you can’t live with them. Can’t live without them.” Fuck it.


#50

I have to agree with you on investment @realbillperry. The thing is, some people just don’t understand the concept to investing on one’s self and simply spending on frivolous things. Priorities need to be shifted. But then the thing is, if your lady has different priorities than yours (ie status, pleasure, now-mentality) it becomes hard. This is why I started Khan. Being the alpha/sigma, whatever you want to call it, in the relationship would help me achieve my goals while at the same time improve my family’s finances.


#51

Your dad is a genius haha. Probably never heard that before but it seems like your dad had a goog sense of humor


#52

Oh he is @ExploringAstronaut. Though I too have some resentment against my dad, he is one smart guy. That quote is probably one of the most non-bs “words of wisdom” my dad has ever given me.


#53

Awesome quote!

And in your experience and views @d1gz, are all women in the world “difficult” like that?

Are there other types that are more “comfortable” to deal with?

I also noticed that women love to read books where they are submitting to a man, etc. Why do you think many women read about submitting to a man, while sometimes in real life they make the man submit to them? Is there a key in this paradox that could help you?


#54

@AMASH I haven’t been in a relationship that has not been “difficult” at one point or another. The thing is, women, I believe, are crafty creatures. They start out making you think that they’re submitting to you. However, as soon as you let your guard down, they start pouncing. You may not notice it right away, but they start with doing minor reprogramming on you. It may be that they ask small favors from you. Then these “favors” become bigger and bigger to the point that they got you hook, line and sinker.
The thing is, with us men, we think with our dicks. As soon as we get some [email protected]$$y, we start melting. Even the thought of getting some, makes some men malleable. The woman just has to make you think you can get some.
I believe that, at least for the past few days, Khan has been making me think more with my brain rather than my smaller head. This, in turn, pisses my wife off even more. Since, not only is she not getting some, I’m actually staring to refuse her requests.


#55

The thing is, women say, and some actually believe, that they will fall for a man who can sweep them off their feet. That they will do anything for and everything with him. However, we humans are selfish by nature. We constantly try to take from our surroundings, test the limits of what we can get, and basically grab what we can. The same with women. As soon as they get something, they will want more, and try to get more from you. If you don’t know what’s happening, you will slowly let your guard down piece by piece until you are fully naked and exposed to her whims. By then, it is possible that she would want to leave you and do the same to another man, knowing that this can be done.
Now call me what you will, however, this is also probably the reason why a lot of women cheat. You might say that men cheat also, however, men are not often controlled by our brains but by our dicks.


#56

Learned that through first hand, painful experience. Never again, don’t care who it is.


#57

That seems to be reasonable @d1gz. What do you think women get from that? Do you think women enjoy being with a man they can control? If so, does it mean that men women cannot control stay virgins or have very little sex in life? I am really curious about your opinion on this.

Oh, so if I understand you correctly, all women are making men think they have sex so they can control them, and are “crafty” in how they deal with all men, and all men are weak and malleable, and any thought of getting sex makes the men obey like little puppies. It’s a very interesting perspective. And I think that this makes relationships quite unhappy.

Do you think there exists any happy man-woman relationships in this world that last for long?

Why do you think this is? It is very reasonable it is to understand from this that: You woman wants an obedient man -> You are not obedient -> She withholds sex to get you to bey.

So sex to women is a bargaining chip, did I understand you correctly?

And how much could this whole situation be explained by this, in your views @d1gz?

I think you’re a very smart man. I really enjoy our discussions :slight_smile:


#58

First of all, to be honest, I’m not sure if these thoughts are due to my subconscious reconciling or if it’s really me. Now, I’m sure a lot of feminists, after reading this would call me a sexist pig or something similar, however, I try to keep an open mind, and may be swayed if reasoned with properly.
With that being said:

We humans clearly yearn for power over our surroundings. As history shows, we have always tried controlling what is around us. And control means power.
However, I don’t think women enjoy being with men they can control. This is the reason why a lot of women leave their men behind. In some cases, they blame the men for being sissies, for not taking charge, and what not. The thing is, the whole man-woman relationship has become a big paradox, wherein everything is ironic. It becomes a damned if you do, damned if you don’t kind of thing. (Hence why my dad came up with that quote).

Again, if you look at history, Cleopatra and Mata Hari seduced, and or had affairs with supposedly men in power. Now, I’m not saying all men are weak and malleable, all I’m saying is that sex can and will make some (not all) men do crazy shit.
In addition, I’m not saying that sex (especially in my marriage) has become a bargaining chip. However, it some cases, withholding sex does make people cranky and look for it elsewhere (again, going to why people cheat).
As for EVT, this is actually the first time I’ve heard of the term. However, we as a society, are expected to follow certain social norms. To go against these norms can make others feel uncomfortable. This is why those who go against such norms are cast out and/or frowned upon.

I do too, @AMASH.
Again, I’m not sure if these are truly my ideas or the reconciliation stage occurring within my subconscious. As much as possible, I try not to be sexist and support equal rights. However, another quote from my dad:
We argue for equal rights. However, it just so happens that some people are more equal than others.


#59

Your dad has read Animal Farm! That’s a quote from that book :smile:


#60

@AMASH I’m not sure if he did. He used to and still does devour any book he gets his hands into. Although personally, I don’t care for Orwell. I tried reading 1984 20 years ago. And each time I tried, I would fall asleep within 5 pages​:sleeping:. I gave up after a couple of tries. :grin: