Elixir of Regeneration


#41

Day 11
4xRegeneration
3xElixir

After dealing with my traumas on the conscious level I hope I did it at the subconscious level too. I feel like that but there’s no way to measure it. Now it’s time to face the biggest issue of my life which I resolved to some point using subs for over five years. I think those subs helped me deal with it somehow but I have an impression they did so only to some point, superficially, since today that issue occurred when I was at the market. It was slight but it occurred. The issue is social anxiety. I felt it for the last time when I got some kind of reconciliation doing Stark Terminus around two months ago. Today I felt it again (but it was much weaker) but I was fully aware of it and had control over it. I’m almost sure I felt it since my stack is digging very deep or because I increased the number of loops for Elixir pretty fast from 1 to 3. I’ll keep observing myself and try to learn more about that.


#42

Day 12
4xRegeneration
3xElixir

I changed the strategy of listening to Elixir, now I’m listening to three loops one after another. I haven’t noticed any difference so far.

I’m more relaxed and in control. No more to log today.


#43

Day 13
Day off

On my current stack I’m used to sleeping around 7 hours per night but last night I slept 10 since it was my night off. I feel refreshed and energized. It seems to me my mind has got accustomed to the sub but still I have interesting dreams related to some minor issues which occured in the past which are resolved positively in the dreams.


#44

Day 14
Day off

Nothing special to log today. Just chalked up another day.


#45

Day 15
4xRegeneration
3xElixir

I’ve overcome that slight social anxiety I spoke about some days ago and I’ve noticed I’m really comfortable lving among strangers (my gf’s family) even though I cannot communicate with them verbally (they are Thais). I feel a bit emotionally numb but keep the high spirits in general. I have an impression the stack is digging even deeper and now another issue I’ve been always surpresing within is comming to the litght. Namely, it’s strugling with the chaos in me. I use a lot of energy to fight off that chaos to keep my mind stable and at peace. It seems to me the stack is weakening the chaos and I need less energy to keep fighting it off. Interesting.


#46

Day 16
4xRegeneration
3xElixir

I’ve noticed I can understand my emotional states better and analyze them getting to their core what helps me in dealing with the negative ones.


#47

Day 17
4xRegeneration
3xElixir

Due to a slight sleep deprivation caused most likely by listening to an Ultima sub (Elixir) I’m forced to reduce the amount of loops from 3 to 2. Besides I have a feel I’m stonewalling with Elixir since I don’t feel anything whilst listening to it and after listening to it I don’t see any changes in my energy, behavior etc. I used to see some changes when I was listening to it at the level of 1 loop but then I increased it to 3 loops pretty fast… too fast, without a proper adjustment.


#48

It occurred to be a great move. I reduced the number of loops for Elixir from 3 to 2 and listened to them with a 6 hours break and I definitely see and feel how Elixir is affecting me now. I just had to go back to the general instructions and follow what Saint said. For Ultima titles, 2 loops one in the morning and the other in the evening. Of course, he also said if somebody can handle it, it maybe 2-3 loops at night. Well, I couldn’t since it caused stonewalling.

I’m planning to add 1 loop of Regeneration tonight.


#49

Day 18
5xRegeneration
2xElixir

Nothing special to log today apart from the fact I can handle 5 Regeneration loops… so far.


#50

Day 19
5xRegeneration / Total listening time so far: 59 hours
2xElixir / Total listening time so far: 31 hours

After dealing with my traumas on the conscious level at least, so I guess on the dark level too, I realized there’s one thing I have to let go of. I have to stop blaming my father for all the issues our miscommunication caused. I have to restrain myself from thinking my life could have been much better than it was if not for those issues. I have to teach myself forgivness, I want to forgive my father and reframe my love for him…my love which fills me with sorrow, tears and… self-pity.


#51

Day 20
2xElixir

I bought the headset recommended by SainSovereign (because it’s really good anyway) and I’m testing it now with ElixirU (10:00). The feel is much stronger than on my former headset for 20$. I mean that feel of warmth in the chest which I identify as the very first sign of the sub kicking in. I’ve experienced that many times, also using another company subs. Apart from it I changed the mode to “Jazz” as I reminded myself one subliminal producer suggested that mode is best for Ultrasonic and as we all know there is Ultrasonic in Ultima too.


#52

Just started listening to Regeneration on my new headset, the feeling is definitely better too. I didn’t know that listening to subs on a good quality headset may make such a big difference.


#53

What headset, mate? I’m using Tin T2’s right now.


#54

I guess you would do yourself a great favor if you bought a nice headset for around 100$. Saint said you should be fine as far as your headset isn’t really cheap but I changed the headset and I see an improvement.
Here’s my equipment + Kitty :wink:


#55

Sweet. Checking this out now. Thanks mate


#56

Day 21
5xRegeneration
2xElixir

I’ve decided to reduce the rest time to one day and apart from that not to take any break from listening to Elixir. The reason was I just could handle it. Anyways, I’m going to take 2 days off next time, since I realized it’s not only about the ability to handle it but about giving your mind time to process the sub.

After changing the headset I feel more energized even though I slept around six hours only. Another thing I have a little ailment which is my two fingers (little and ring fingers) get a bit cold and numb from time to time. I’ve suffered from it for many years, yet today I have a prickling sensation in my fingers. Interesting.

On top of that I had a dream last night where some girl who rejected me many many years ago, was trying to get me and she was playing really hard to do so… but didn’t succeed :wink:


#57

I’m planning to run my healing stack for another 11 nights and then I shall decide if I want to/should stick to it or switch to Quantum Limitless ST1 + Elixir for 35 days at least before moving to Stage 2 + Limit Destroyer.


Rebirth, Regeneration & Sanguine (w/ EQ and PS)
#58

Day 22
5xRegeneration
2xElixir

I’m definitely more grounded, today, I had a little fight with a gf but I was composed and keept my temper at bay. I explained to her calmly why I think our relationship faces some problems and even though I was explaining it to her for the 100th time I was really patient. Apart from that, I keep dreaming about interactions with some people I met in the past where the interactions and their results were unfavorable to me,reframing those “relationships” to my favor, at least in the dreams.


#59

@Voytek - hey man. Even though am not back to journaling yet, am just checking how things are round here. Thought I would stop by to read your journal since I haven’t done so in a while. I guess you can see profund changes in yourself cause I can see it too.

Also, Dragon Reborn sounds very exciting for us “healing nerds” lol. Am wondering whether I should jumpstart it.

By the way, my EmperorQ + PCC stack is working very well right now.


#60

Hey, I was toying with the idea of running DR but ultimately decided to stick to my current stack and run Stark+Rebirth (+Khan maybe) later on. My healing stack is doing a great job and I don’t think/feel I need a deeper and longer healing DR offers. I would run it only if I was new to subs or was still struggling with some inner issues. Almost every sub has some healing elements too and I’ve been running subs for over five years. I decided to run my healing stack out of curiosity. I was wondering if there was something more to clear out… and there was. I shall stick to my stack for at least two more weeks and then I shall decide if I should keep going on it or switch to Stark. For now. it’s still reframing the feel of the old negative/toxic/unhealthy relationships while I’m asleep.