Finding my True North


#242

My only goal is to be more of my Khan self. That means being more masculine, stronger, assertive, taking care of myself first and free of manipulation.

I’ve taken a an emotional beating the past few years, so this is the most important goal for me. Life basically dictated that I sort this out first.

Specifics like money, dating and sex are bonuses. They will definitely be coming in 2020, so more to come.


#243

So, I’m assuming you are taking down one goal at a time. Do you plan to start EOG and QL at a later time too?


#244

No. Khan ST4 throughout 2020 with Power Can Corrupt and possibly Regeneration until I feel like a complete badass.


#245

Whats your reason behind adding regeneration?


#246

Healing narcissistic abuse trauma from early childhood. It’s interfering with me standing up for myself and going independent.


#247

I’m glad you are on this journey to change!


#248

Khan
Total Action
Day 15

Power Can Corrupt for one loop works absolute wonders, along with the push of ST3. First thing felt was a sense of relief- I can finally find “me” as a distinct entity separate from others, with my own wants, needs and desires and it’s ok to have them!

Power Can Corrupt is revealing to me that EVERYONE has a personal agenda, no matter how benign it is - it’s whether you let them take from you whatever they want, or recognise what they’re doing and redress the balance somewhat.
It’s not as miserable and clinical as it sounds though, charisma and charm can get you very far indeed with this Machiavellian knowledge, so do use it wisely.

ST3 is manifesting my own personal growth, rather than women. Now I just am my free, confident self, really don’t care now about getting validation looks and stares from them anymore because I’ve got me.

@mecharc cheers!


#249

How do you think a loop of pcc might affect on ST2?


#250

@mecharc PCC and ST2 will program you with outer and inner power at the same time.

Power works with all stages very well. The earlier the better IMO


#251

Khan
Total Action
Day 16

Busting it in the gym, ST3 seems to be giving me more energy to push hard on the weights. Major boost in my upper body. Also losing that stubborn fat in the middle quite quickly.

ST3 is also making me horny, however there’s no desire to fap, simply because I like the warm feeling of sexual energy.

Power Can Corrupt is an awesome little sub. It’s brutal in terms of revealing the true motivations of people, which might make a nice guy sad and angry.
It makes me even look at my past relationships to see how I’ve been used for my time, attention and validation by women but got no sex in return. That’s ends now and it’ll be fun to start turning tables on people now.

I’m no longer looking for female validation, still get looks here and there but I don’t care now. I’ve got charisma, outer power and my own independent mind. If a woman wants me, she’s going to have to match my levels.


#252

Khan
Total Action w/ PCC
Day 17

Something has changed in the time-space continuum - no more expecting struggle, strife and bad relationships. Because I now have social charisma.

I’ve been shy since age 7, because family instilled the fear of other people. Whilst they had their reasons, my lack of social skills seriously hindered my chances of going out and succeeding in life.

30 years later, that’s all over.

Two loops of Power Can Corrupt has removed that fear by giving me social skills, charisma and it’s given me permission to avoid unstable, rude and negative people. Before, I used to give assholes the benefit of the doubt by trying to nurture them: “oh, they’re just having a bad day, she doesn’t mean it, she needs help etc”. No more.

If you’re a dick, move right along. Free lunch is over.

ST3 is still beating my ass by pushing me to work more and train more. Combined with PCC, there’s no more hiding from the world*. It’s time to go out and find life… But let’s sleep first. :smile:

*that’s one of the laws too.


#253

So if I understand you correct, pcc has improved your social skills? Could you please give a bit more details about how it has improved your social skills/confidence? I’m probably going to buy it aswell if it improves your social abilities.


#254

@afc22 like with ST2, there’s a feeling of regaining the social skills I lost many years ago. A lot of if is outer charisma, like I could enter a room and feel comfortable in a crowd starting a convo. This charisma makes it easy to spot negative and unstable people as your positive energy repels them. You’ll definitely stand out. The more you use it, the more you’ll learn and master the 48 Laws. Use them wisely.

Power Can Corrupt is a essentially a charisma stack for Khan, since your on it already, go for it. Recreate yourself.


#255

Thnx, I’m going to buy it. It seems like it’s gonna help me.


#256

Khan
Total Cynical Reconciliation
Day 18

Family lies and deception
My mother prides herself on cleanliness, calling it a virtue. However the kitchen has a rat problem and one of the cupboards is covered in rat feces. However she spent more time rearranging my possessions in storage, throwing my stuff away than dealing with the rats.
At that moment it dawned on me: my mother is a fake. She cares more about being superior to me. Depressing.

Everybody’s selfish
Power Can Corrupt has shattered my naïve world view - I believe that everybody was like me: compassionate, open, considerate and nurturing. That’s false. People are essentially self centred and self interested and will take advantage of you if they can. It’s depressing to know this.

First test of PCC:
Today I bumped into a mother’s kid, she got upset and I apologized. She then continued to get upset, I apologized again. I then asked if the kid was okay, she stopped talking to me and walked off.
This was the first test of PCC where I knew what to do: disarm by giving her no weapons to attack. I apologized without ever seeking validation, even enjoying puffing up her sense of self importance.

Now I know why big companies appeal to people’s vanity and self interest to sell products. Depressing, but real shit.

Can I help you?
I swear everytime I step out to at least one person asking me for directions. Today two people did. No idea why. Maybe they think I’m some kind of authority?


#257

Khan
Total Corruption
Day 19

Action to change
Planning to make moves in the future. Armed with the knowledge of human nature and my own disappointment in my family, it’s time to do something about it for my own quality of life.

Surrendering to live another day
Apologising for bumping into some mother’s kid was actually [Law 22]. Surprising that in just three days I instinctively knew how to confidently surrender. It’s different from sucking up to someone as I kept my power in that situation.

Corruption conflict

  • Why do people fear me?
  • Why can’t I be everyone’s friend?
  • Why do I feel terrible for putting myself first?
  • Why is the universe punishing me for thinking about myself first?
  • Why have women stopped liking me?

However, these are the benefits so far:

  • more emotionally closed off (it’s a positive, being emotionally open with no boundaries is narcissist bait)
  • more self centred (again, a positive as overly concerning myself with others’ messes is narc bait)
  • calmer in social settings (a little knowledge goes a long way)
  • finally having the upper hand in conversation (where being blindsided by rude people no longer exists)
  • knowing what motivates people (people are selfish and vain) and to use that in my favour.
  • feeling like I can go into "battle and win for once
  • hiding it all in charisma.
  • more outer power (people treat me with respect and fear)

#258

I have added PCC after following your progress!
I guess your level of results will also be visible to me when I reach ST3.


#259

Khan
Total Action
Day 20

Originally Khan was a decision to gain more alpha inner power. However digging deep with these subs has pointed to my emotional pain as a legacy of childhood narcissistic abuse.

Total Breakdown has destroyed my faulty beliefs about life, PCC has given me a lifeline in dealing with predatory people and being assertive. Now it’s time to finally address the residual childhood trauma from the past and heal them.

Enter Regeneration. As recommended by @Dmitry.

It’s a different healing tool from ST1. Total Breakdown works on beliefs about wealth, love, power and sex. Regeneration seems to take your past wounds and healing them gently.

I know I’ve been a hypocrite for telling others not to stack Khan, yet I’m doing it myself. I planned to listen only to Khan however the elephant in the room couldn’t be ignored anymore. When shame and guilt is interfering in basic assertiveness, it needs to be dealt with.

My playlist is now:
ST3 x5
Power x1
Regeneration x1


#260

Sometimes it’s the ego that stops us from taking action! Ego is usually biased towards the initial intention. It is very hard to let go of that ego, I have struggled in many cases. You have not let the ego of “Only doing Khan” stop you from stacking what you find necessarry!


#261

The ego wants to say see, I completed Khan all the way through, aren’t I perfect?

Oh well. I guess Khan wants me to tackle this issue.

Early results
Regeneration is working already, gently soothing past fears and releasing them. No longer have that automatic fear response to rejection, abandonment of criticism.