Finding my True North


#262

Khan
Total Emotional Healing
Day 21

So I believe I was led to purchase Regeneration because of Power Can Corrupt. PCC gives me social skills, assertiveness and most importantly, firmer boundaries, which is the first step in healing narcissistic abuse. The second is to heal all trauma within. I took the plunge and have found my salvation with Regeneration.

Regeneration gets inside and finds all past trauma and pain (not just breaks down beliefs about life, like ST1 did) and gently removes them. To think that I’ve spent years in counseling and achieved maybe a tenth of what Regeneration achieved in hours.

I’m still playing ST3 because emotional healing can be overwhelming. I want to ease into it and to keep my composure for work.

Khan, Power Can Corrupt and Regeneration is the narcissist victim’s healing toolbox.

Overall benefits:

  • Gentle removal of past trauma
  • Low level fear and nervousness GONE PERMANENTLY
  • Sleeping much better, got a full 10 hours
  • True emotional freedom

#263

Good journal man, really appreciate it with the regular updates


#264

Wow! Regeneration worked very fast!


#265

Regenerating:
Just because it isn’t Total Breakdown, doesn’t mean it isn’t felt - healing and purging feels like being sick and streaming tears without the crying. It’s powerful but overwhelming. Letting go of the childhood baggage and wondering what fills the gap? Healing is tough, taking it step by step.

Hoping this clearing will make Khan work better.

Power Can Corrupt:
I won’t say much (already have) but, PCC is dangerous. Knowing when to talk and keep quiet, leveraging others, making others laugh and influencing others naturally is a gift - that can be misused. Better watch out, assholes!

Overall results:
Nothing on the outside has changed, but I feel chilled, not trying to get someone’s attention to be liked. Staying focused on myself feels unusual, because I was so fixed on the outside, leaving me wide open to be looked down upon and dismissed.

Confidently moving away with zero fucks when someone is disrespectful. No longer fearful about being rejected and abandoned because I choose to do what I want without seeking permission.


#266

Please talk about PCC a bit more. Because you are my inspiration to start PCC, I like reading your updates with it, and I feel more motivated.


#267

Khan
Total Chilled Action
Day 22

Finding my real self:
I feel like for the first time that I’m in command of my own life - not just reacting to other people’s hatred. If I want to go chill in a coffee shop for no other reason than to chill, I will. If I want to travel by myself, I will. My focus is now firmly on myself and what I can do for myself, not attempting to fixing other people’s problems. The urge to bail out others distracted me from my own path.

Thou shalt hold thy own nuts.

Socially corrupt:
I found myself identifying a work colleague who dropped subtle hints of disapproval and I simply dismissed them from my mind [Law 10] and carried on my business. Usually at the start of work I take the lead, trying to “assume” the manager’s role, however this time I found myself hanging back [Law 1], letting others do the heavy lifting [Law 4], keeping my hands clean [Law 26] and turn on my charisma for the customers instead.
PCC is real world skills for the workplace. The secret skills people instinctively learn to get ahead. It’s dangerous stuff as this behaviour is automatic!

Covering up the inner pain:
Now I know why the art career had to go, same as the ambition to be a manager - it was a cover for my own emotional pain. I wanted to be admired and respected by others for my work. But those opportunities I pursued never flourished despite my best efforts, because they were never in alignment with who I truly am.

It was a cover-up and a distraction; those achievements in art put a temporary Bandaid over the emotional pain and trauma still felt from my abusive past. It covered up my real, true self which was beaten down and shamed by society, parents, teachers and strangers.

Since Regeneration started, traumas started healing and disappearing by themselves, revealing my real self underneath the bullshit. Without my former identity of “abused child victim”, who exactly am I? What am I? What do I truly like? Where am I naturally talented at?

Total Breakdown smashed the art career and management ambitions into pieces for a higher purpose


#268

This one is a real breakthrough, @Michel. Sometimes I wonder about this myself. On whether I want to pursue writing just to be admired or whether it is my passion.

I did run Regeneration before. Wondering whether it is worth running for longer.


#269

You’ve found your real self. Probably the best manifestation possible in terms of self development. Very happy for this specific progress!

Wow, it’s amazing how you can already naturally do the laws. Moreover, you are aware of the laws themselves.


#270

@raphael Regeneration is giving me a lot of joy because the past is finally being buried, lock and key neutralised. I don’t know how long you would give it to completely clean the past but it works quick.
I also don’t know what the answer is regarding creativity and adoration. However passion just means you create and you don’t care who likes it…

@mecharc thanks, it getting better day by day. Small victories.


#271

Khan
Total Action, PCC, Regen
Day 23:

Khan with Regeneration is sculpting me into a dominant, powerful, anxiety free confident individual who doesn’t need to lose it to make a point. I’ve noticed that after several years of struggle, disappointment, betrayal, being friendzoned, being used is the end of the tunnel. I’m touching all my female bosses without a damn.

Get Up, Stand Up
Two incidents that showed an unwillingness to tolerate shit and stood up for myself:

  • An rough old crusty dame security guard wanted to see my ID before entering work. Since passports are very important documents (and are expensive to replace), I held onto it to show my ID… She got upset because she wanted to take it. I reiterated that this was my passport and she can see my details whilst I held onto it. She had to qualify herself to me in order to take it. She gave a “WTF” look but I didn’t care because It was my turn to stand firm for something and had to ride out the discomfort from this witch’s disapproval.

  • Some big dude sat next to me on the train, I didn’t feel comfortable with this extra big dude invading my personal space, so I got up immediately and stood.

OMG why are you being such a douche?
I did what I needed to do for MY OWN wellbeing. No-one is in my corner fighting for ME, that’s why people have been able to take advantage of me, because I didn’t fight. Now I am able to put myself first, sod the consequences.

No immediate thoughts of “omg I’m such an evil person for doing that, how would you like it if he did that to you? You’re so inconsiderate!”

Fact of the matter is, those “intolerant assholes” usually get what they want and their quality of life is better.


#272

@Michel - “passion is you create and you don’t care who likes it”. Absolutely true.


#273

The way you use sub-headings in your journal entries is pretty cool and makes them flow well.


#274

I’m wondering how adding PCC and/or regen would affect my current stack of khan st4 and ql st1. Seems like PCC has helped you a lot and, to be honest, if not for khan and ql being heavy subs, I’d add PCC right now as I’m really envious of your progress.


#275

@d1gz - haha that’s me too. Loved @Michel 's success with PCC and was wondering whether I should add it. But am gonna reach the ST4 of both Khan and Quantum Limitless before I add anything else. Or ateast reach Khan ST4 at the minimum.


#276

How many loops of each sub are you doing? I already bought Regenration a while ago, so I might want to give it a try aswell. I got good results with it when I listend to it a while ago.


#277

Khan
Total Action w/ Regen + PCC
Day 24

Five times the fun:
I entered work early in the morning and met my female manager. She started a bit moody (I was also to be fair, as I was tired) but I soon warmed her up by being confident with bantz and cheeky talk. [Law 22] I showed masculine dominance and sexuality, being cheeky and looking directly in her eyes. She must have been attracted to me because she started dangling and taking off one of her shoes (in cold weather) which is a major subconscious IOI of "I want to fuck you". I was also bantering and being cheeky with the customers and they loved it. [Law 43].

At work I demonstrated to my team leader a workflow system where one person takes all payments and the others serve. I believed this was a much faster way of knocking out product for the customers than the slower individual pay then serve system. [Law 9] The result: we smashed our sales target by 5x [Law 30]. There is potentially more good career news coming, can’t say more at the moment.

Single and unwilling to mingle:
My female managers (they change regularly) this week were all attractive, datable and gettable (and a significant upgrade on who I got used by). However, at the moment, I don’t want a girlfriend or a relationship, nor am I chasing for one. I’ve found myself and want to experience what life is like with such a powerful and dominant frame of mind on my own without the distraction of another. Will it start that way? Until sometime makes a decent offer, frankly yes!


#278

@raphael @d1gz Stack Power with QL?

Does that make it Quantum Corruption?

@afc22 stack is Khan ST3 in a 5:2:2 ratio.


#279

Thnx, awesome progress btw.


#280

As alway, another entry, teaching me more than my masters program.

Hi much exposure so you get ?


#281

I’d like to think of it as “Quantum Power