Finding my True North


#382

Finding my nuts:
Went to my second work and shit, where did these assholes come from? Young female managers acting the little dictator.

Today with reconciliation headache and tablets I was in no mood to play around. Young female boss saw me exhausted at the till and tried to crack the whip.

Then, Ascension kicks in

I said I needed 5 minutes to clear my head from dealing with all those customers. She tried to replace me with someone else - I wasn’t moving, I said (once again) that I needed 5 minutes to clear my head (whilst getting slightly pissed).

I then gave this neck snapping, finger clicking little upstart no further attention and carried on, and guess what? … YEP, She eventually gave out IOIs….

Sigh… Why is it my job to put these out of pocket young women back in their box, dammit?

Deez nuts? There they are, in between my legs.

Changes in thinking and behaviour: for @Hermit

  • I CAN STAND UP FOR MYSELF FINALLY
  • I don’t like some people.
  • I am allowed to dislike people
  • I can disdain someones behaviour
  • Some people’s behaviour is repulsive, I find it repulsive and I stand by it.
  • Surprise, once you stand firm to these female dictators they get wet…

Self Development Road Map
#383

Ascension - for when you want to slap a mufugga. Here’s to more unsuspecting people getting the backhand.


#384

Ibuprofen haze:
This is the worst period of reconciliation I’ve ever experienced on Subliminal Club products. Headaches, nausea, vomiting, shivers, fever etc… I’m barely opening my eyes. Dark room wrapped up in blankets.

Getting the hate now.
Like clockwork.
Just like on Khan ST2.
Difference is I don’t give a shit.

Ascension is for me to feel like a solid, confident man. What others want to throw out due to their own shit is their problem.


Self Development Road Map
#385

Ascension
Week 2

Reconciliation reminiscence:
Feeling sorry for myself, having this reconciliation episode. Sore throat, sore muscles, coughing, migraine like headache, the business. Feeling confused, upset, useless.

There are good things happening too - real, independent self esteem, new career, new life cycle etc. but being bedridden is reflecting on all of my losses in life - lost childhood, lost adulthood, friends who moved on, women…


Self Development Road Map
#386

@Michel Plow through my brother! You will come out stronger on the other side.


#387

@KingR thanks man

Healing (Regen Elixir)
Building (Ascension)
Protecting (Power Can Corrupt)

Regeneration and Elixir have been so effective in applying healing balm to most of my flashback traumas that I’m starting to miss having them. The latest trauma shifted must have been from when I was around 7 years old.
I’m also regretting not dealing with past trauma sooner in order to have a longer, more peaceful life. Never mind.

it’s never too late to be the person you were always meant to be. - George Eliot

Ascension helps with the “haters”, meaning they can no longer trigger shame and self-hatred in me, remaining in my powerful frame for longer. I notice women wanting to get closer, but I’m so protective of my new self I’m not letting in anybody. Holding back the good stuff for myself only!


Self Development Road Map
#388

Week 2 highlights

I cannot praise Regeneration and the Elixir enough. Most of the shame flashbacks have been healed, feeling at peace, full of self love and respect. There’s nothing better than attending to my own needs without self criticism, shame and guilt, I just do it.

Now times were rough on Ascension but it’s getting better, have a bit more self respect. There’s one longtime good friend I’ve been texting happy holidays who never responded to my messages, which kinda hurt. But now, I feel strong enough to go my own way. It sucks, but my self respect is building and it needs addressing.


Self Development Road Map
#389

Key revelations:

  • No one cares about me as much as I do them. Be smart about that.
  • Stop extending yourself to people who couldn’t give two shits.
  • If somebody doesn’t want me in their life, let them go…
  • I deserve better

Sitting with the pain:
Sitting in the café wondering and sitting with the pain of abandonment and rejection and keeping it together. Then wondering what was it about me that accepted this lower status of occasional breadcrumbs from women. The answer was (whilst in past trauma) I felt that breadcrumbs was all I deserved from others for a long time. Now, because I can sit and enjoy my own company without needing another, I had to take a look at this friendship - I was the one going to her most of the time, I was the one messaging her etc. How balanced is it? Do I deserve more? Do I dare attend to myself first? Is it actually time to say “fuck you all”?

It isn’t fair, but it gets lighter the more I sit with it. Dare I even forget about it?

An Ascension story
Even if I have to stand alone, in my pain, I will claim my spot on planet earth and my right to exist.
Walking, mostly stepping aside. A few running for their lives scared of my presence. Can’t control that.
Try-hards trying to out alpha me and failing.
Ignoring accusatory people who project their ugliness onto me.
Accepting that others don’t like me and reaffirming my right to exist.

I don’t know what the future holds, don’t know which direction I want to go, but for now, being alone is freeing as I can do whatever I want with my time and not having to cater to the fickle whims of others.


Self Development Road Map
#390

Keep going my friend, when i am in a bad week i always come here to inspire myself on your journey. Since we are in the same boat, although different sub programs i can find truth and meaning in your findings.
Since i started this journey i found out that most people are just pretenders, they are so weak internally that they need to over compensate with shitty behaviours or attitudes. I always remember my kickboxing master telling me you can see how dangerous a man is by his walk, and its not the " gangster walk" most weak man do to over compensate fear in Guetto enviroments.

Standing up for yourself, not taking shit from anybody, beeing your own saviour and most liberating and hurtfull at the same time…beeing your own father. Try see if this last sentence relates to you.
I used to blame my shitty life on all the bad things that happened in my childhood, not taking action, beeing a doormat but then i realize i am responsible for everything and even if i die trying at least ill take them with me.


#391

@Elme I had to read your post several times because it was full of truth.

No more fairytales:
Being empathetic, I believed everybody else is exactly the same as me - caring, attentive, considerate… except they’re not. Then you discover most people don’t actually care about you.
It’s taken me longer than it should to adjust to the fact that most people just don’t give a shit.
I also had to learn not to clean up after others too. Taking responsibility for things that were never mine is a tough habit to break, when you’re trained to be the family “blame guy” and mommy’s little marriage counsellor.
These are all childhood beliefs I was trained in that made me a bullies target, a work bitch and an emotional tampon to others. Thank God for PCC telling me the raw truth.

Being my own father:
That hit home hard. I also didn’t have a father that could be bothered to raise his own kids, so learning to be my own father is also important. Doing things, going places, pursuing things that interest me - TAKING ACTION - is the learning skills challenge of a lifetime. I’ve got Ascension to thank for helping me discover myself, taking action and reinforcing my basic needs in order to stop serving others and start serving myself.
It’s just over a week with Ascension v2 and @Elme you’re correct - all it takes is a little internal strength. Just standing strong in my own power is enough for others to want to run away like pussies.

In the end, it’s just building basic core self esteem - the type I never had before.


Self Development Road Map
#392

Ascension (two weeks)
Regeneration (one month)

Ascension is slowly working the good stuff on me. Now I have a calm confidence which feels normal. Regeneration, Elixir are also removing blocks which means Ascension can work unimpeded.

Ascension is giving me hope for the future - despite the lingering emotional pain and the wounds, it’s is making each day a little brighter.

With family of origin abuse, once I’ve been conditioned to it, I then attract it from others. Once I expect very little from life, that’s exactly what I attract. But with Ascension, the vibe is very different from others - even some attraction. But the main thing is having self respect.

Added Rebirth to help with the pain release as well as that 174hz video @Hermit posted. (Re) learning self respect and learning that I do deserve to be here.


#393

174 Hz – Relieves Pain and Stress : This frequency reduces pain and gives your organs a sense of security, safety and love. It heals your physical and emotional aura. at the present.

417 Hz – Undoing Situations and Facilitating Change : Solfeggio 417 Hz frequency energizes your body and brings change. This frequency clears destructive influences of past. Tone RE encourages the cell and its functions in an optimal way and also facilitates changes.

  • Benefits of 417Hz Solfeggio Frequency
    ✓ Remove Negative Energy from the Body
    ✓ Remove Negative Energy from the Home and Office
    ✓ Remove Negative Thoughts and Behavior Patterns
    ✓ Undo Situations with Negative Outcome
    ✓ Facilitate Change in you and others
    ✓ To Come out of Trauma

So I would recommend using 471hz more often when using Regeneration & Rebirth, while using 174hz when something emotional comes up at present and you would like to clear it.


#394

Ascension (2 weeks)
Regeneration (1 month)

Frequency freedom:
Making good progress with clearing out lingering old emotional pain and loneliness. I had a tendency to try to make another person responsible for soothing that pain. However the YouTube video resonance frequencies recommended cleared all that nervousness out of my body.
I do urge @SaintSovereign to include those frequencies in an update to both the Elixir (174 Hz) and Regeneration (417hz).

Leaving the Cave:
It’s ironic that when I’m alone working with clearing the pain that once I step out of the house that things aren’t nearly as bad outside. In fact things are could be great if I continue on this path. I just need outside confirmation of my own changes on these subliminals.

Ascension at work
At work I’m a lot more calm and internally strong, even when at work there is one woman who’s constantly sending me shit tests. I actually have the ability to stand up and stand for what I think calmly and without backing down. She was throwing out accusations and generally getting upset, but I didn’t care (not my responsibility). In fact I was in a PCC mood to troll along with her.
I finally know, accept and love myself better to take on someone else’s wrong assessment of who I am.

on shit testing

(Btw - passing a shit test isn’t hard when you have a backbone, but I’m totally uninterested in playing games for female validation. If they think I’m a high value, “real man”, great, but I already value and love myself.)


#395

It’s official…

I no longer feel bad about myself. :+1:

Put your drinks up! :coffee:

You like me? Whatever…
Noticing the increased female attraction, mostly from mothers and it’s starting to confuse me - I’m not doing anything consciously different except just having a more definitive, calm, self assured vibe. But it has to be self-love first.

No more naïve offerings of “love”, it’s now “prove to me why I should bother stretching myself out to you”.

You should never get high off someone else’s opinion, good or bad. Your own opinion of yourself should be the only one that counts.

Ascension redux:
There is a steady progress with self-esteem and confidence with a solid “respect me” aura, similar to the first time on Ascension way back. The respect I’m getting is also confusing me! On Khan I was getting nothing but hate and disrespect, that may have been due to the conflict between the new alpha programming and the old unresolved trauma. This time it’s a lot more chilled and stable.

I can choose who to interact with and it doesn’t have to be with everybody. I can’t be friendly with everyone, nor should I be. I have the absolute right to shield myself against bullshitters, energy thieves, the angry and depressed and the bigoted. The shell and pincers are now up.

So far, Ascension is delivering exactly on its promises.


#396

@Michel I’m loving your recent growth brother. Keep at it. I’m beginning to hit the same point in my own journey.


#397

:coffee: :coffee: :coffee:

That’s good to hear, man.

4 weeks into Regeneration, 2 weeks into Ascension. (and can’t forget Khan).

May your beneficial changes increase more and more.


#398

It’s amazing you drew this analogy. I’ve been thinking about the 48 Laws of Power all week at work–and I relaxed when it clicked that I was just playing in a game. In work, in my own business aims, in relationships–it’s all just a game. Which is why I’ve enjoyed my job. I’ve held some keys of power myself there.

I haven’t picked up PCC, but I’m reading about experiences. I’m gaining confidence by just reading your journal. :grin:


#399

@michel, how are you running this overnight?
Repeated looping of it alone, or with other tracks?

I own Elixir, but don’t use it regularly, as I listen to ultrasonics mostly.


#400

@davisnwc @malkuth many thanks! Finally came out of the fog with these subs.

@subliminalguy are you flirting with the idea of being Machiavellian? Power Can Corrupt isn’t supposed to turn you into a narcissist, only reveal how the real world works.

more PCC ramblings

Like @Davisnwc said -

  • equal exchange
  • no free lunches
  • appeal to others vanity
  • work behind the curtain
  • keep your hands clean
  • avoid the chronically depressed
  • respect the hierarchy etc…

It’s super smooth to run, but you’ll need an alpha program to execute it though (Ascension, Khan, Emperor).
It’s expected politicians and powerful people play the chess game, but regular Joe’s? Not really, which it’ll be a revelation to then see the international chess game unfold before your eyes.

(PCC can also help you with slightly more mundane things like getting what you want also :joy:)

You can use The Elixir whenever you need to during the day away from your main stack. I listen overnight once before my stack, although my audio player is extremely basic and it may have been on repeat with the other tracks.

In fact, an experimental playlist with Regeneration, Elixir and Rebirth on repeat with a 417hz solfeggio track from YouTube would probably be the most powerful healing stack ever. Highly recommended for anxiety, complex PTSD and general fears.


#401

I actually had to look up Machiavellian before responding :slight_smile: I found it’s synonymous with cunning, using duplicity, and being cutthroat.

Am I flirting with it? No. I wrote about seeing systems and some relationships as a game since people are always seeking power, and being aware of the big picture has been where my eyes have been.

I said I see many things as a game since when I learn what’s really happening, I can make better decisions for myself. I’ll say it’s a reaction from feeling very controlled and powerless growing up and into my adulthood.