Finding my True North



Nice is modifying behavior/ tone due to fear of confrontation or loss, or a socially conditioned response to fit in and repress what may be deemed ‘unruly’

Assertive is getting needs met with as much of a win-win situation as possible
or win-lose if others are bad eggs but never you lose-another wins

Kind is treating others how you want to be treated or even how you imagine they want to be treated, with as much Love, from a wellspring of self-Love and well being, and truth as you deem they can handle.

I strive to be assertive and kind.

The higher my sense of self and confidence the easier this is.


Pm me ill teach you how you can do the 2 hours of silence and add it to your stacks.

Fuck the nice guy, fuck the beeing nice to people… you need to treat everyone with respect, if they dont do the same use as any means as necessary to make them respect you, you cant be a doormat to people, they do this becuase they are insecure and assholes but thats not the way. Nice guys have fear of confrontation… they have been hurt so many times that the thinking of a physical escalation is scary.

Well let me tell you something… if none stood up in world war 2 to the nazis and kicked theyr asses we wouldnt be here today, violence is never the way but sometimes you need to defend yourself, physically, mentally and emotional and most ppl think that they doing this types of things is the " new normal ". I can understand the anger bursts… specially with ascension, you are becoming the Alpha and the alpha never takes home their problems.

Its better to be the asshole and succesfull and get the girl that beeing nice guy that everyone likes and adores but when he walks away everyone jokes about it or they take advantage off… how much enough is enough?


agreed, the only real ‘nice-ness’ is from a place of choice and power

I love the movie ‘Wanted’ around this. It’s a little extreme/maybe corny for some, but it shows a nice guy going full Alpha through owning his power in a mythological entertaining way.


Sadly, I agree.
After watching THIS video, I’ve just realised a female “friend” who recently contacted me after two years is using me.

So, yeah, fuck being “nice”.

It may be “low vibe” but there’s nothing spiritual to be gained by remaining a doormat. The other option would have been to go full “nice guy” and plead for leniency (which really means “approval”)

If my needs don’t matter, who’s responsibility is it to meet them?


High school of hard knocks

Remembering my high school years and the amount of crap I let my “friends” get away with: insulting me in their own language and at one time calling me a “monkey”. Even my headteacher tore up my homework in front of the class.

Then I go home every day to two loud, controlling and violent narcissistic parents?

I asked myself:

What did I do to deserve such cruelty?

RegenerationQ seemed to dig those memories back to the surface and resolve them.


What’s your stack like and listening patterns ?


@pacman your reply was number #666

Once a night, every night, then silence for 2 hours.


I noticed that…what does it mean?


It means you’re the devil. :metal:


Lol lol…


Finding My Soul

When you’ve been stripped of every false belief about yourself, only then will you know who you really are.

I paid for specialist soul recovery work to be done, the type that responds well to narcissistic abuse, with RegenerationQ as backup.

When someone says “I lost myself”, it’s literally that. They can then call back pieces of themselves where they’ve willingly given it out to other people.

I then wondered:

  • Why did I give several women (who definitely weren’t interested in that way) so much time and energy?
  • Why did I stick around hoping they would finally give me their love?
  • Why did I readily become their willing servant?
  • Why as soon as I found my testicles, they went ghost?

I sold my soul for shillings and the women took full advantage. That won’t be happening anymore. I have it all back.

Back to the art

Returning also to Ultimate Artist Q for two weeks in my stack and I’m naturally motivated every day to do something: buy materials, saw wood, make canvases, paint small pieces, watch YouTube for tips. I’m putting aside my past hurts and disappointments and wiping the slate clean. Art done on MY terms.


I love to read your journal, everything seems legit and without any dramatic or exagerated contexts.
I had the same problems, except i had a controling mother and a Father figure that was too masculine to be a mother at the same time.

Its good your getting your energy back, a small match with fire in large room, will light everything. The Divine Spark, Good is way more powerfull than darkness… rise again and live on your own terms as a free man.

Regarding you artistic designs you should see how other artists do in pinterest, maybe you can inspire yourself in others ppl art.

How are you dealing with ascension? Its a though ride that one


What you mean by this?


I can only speak for my experience with ascended Mogul, it seems it manifest experiences to " kill the nice guy" - standing up for yourself, speaking your truth, iniciating conflict if necessary, super assertive, release of past traumas ( anger rage bursts).


Oh yes for me ascension does that…it also makes me very energetic and hardworking it’s like I can’t stop working…not forgetting the stares from ladies …


Spending several hours a day painting, getting angry, then going back to it… I can confirm that! AscensionQ makes you work hard. I might even change to Ascended Mogul to capitalise on it.

When they walk or jog past… :kissing_heart:

Andrew Tischler (great artist on YouTube) has amazing pieces of art. He isn’t a “superstar”, his painting table is all found materials from the trash, for example…

That’s my background as well.
I’m missing the nurturing, caring and loving aspects from the feminine side.

Unfortunately I’ve been waiting nearly 40 years for that caring side to emerge from my mother. It never will, she’s too damaged. I’ve come to accept that, which is extremely painful.

If you don’t feel accepted, loved and appreciated by mother, the women you attract will also not accept, appreciate or love you.

After five failed relationships like this, eventually the lesson is learnt - parent and love yourself first.


Wow, nine days since my last journal entry…

Had my birthday, couldn’t obviously do much with the current situation, so I went for a long walk. With AscensionQ in my blood veins, I’m blissfully happy and cheerful. Then some bloke walks past with the narrow eyes:

‘Bloody hell, could have left a little space for me, think you own the whole pavement?’

Zero reaction from me. See, there was my problem, I habitually let others take the shine, whilst I slink away.

My habitual head chatter is something like:

"Who do you think you are taking up space? Creating stuff? Being happy? You’re supposed to hide and to not make a FUCKING peep, until someone wants to use you for something…"

I’m allowed to take up space on earth.
I’m allowed to make an impact.
I do deserve to be here.

Dropping RegenerationQ

Also made a breakthrough in resolving trauma through EMDR sound therapy. My ongoing C-PTSD is turned down from 5 to ½. That means RegenerationQ can be retired, freeing up space for something else. Just need to figure out what…


That’s great. Glad to hear.


Did you enjoy RegenerationQ? Has it helped you? I feel Regeneration is the sub that could have more benefits for you. Either way, I’m glad that you are moving in the direction of goals.


I love how @Michel made such a profound progress since I have been reading his journal. He also has a great amount of experience and insight on various Titles, which I greatly appreciate and highly attributes to the growth of the community.