Finding my True North


#745

I’m Emperoring but this is so true :joy:

Will you stack it or run it solo?


#746

ill Stack it with Sex Mastery and Ascended Mogul… ill do 2 stacks. one mixed all and the other just Medici and Sex Mastery, i will also remove the 2 hours of silence in each set.


#747

Dark inside, Light Outside

Dunno if I went through some sort of heavy reconciliation but all of a sudden I caught some worry feelz, which I knew had something to do with being inside with nothing to do. The new Corona restrictions in the UK are a bit of a worry too. But as soon as I go outside, things aren’t as bad as they seem. In fact there is a lot of hope for humanity and the future.

Salty rivers run shallow

And just like on Khan, StarkQ is showing me a tidal flow of haters… Except on Khan or isn’t as severe and in your face (a few coughs, dudes running away). Some low key bitterness easily handled. A confident, powerful presence isn’t liked by everybody. It’s only the men that do this stupid shit.

I’ve also completely cut out justifying my presence to anyone. I’m laser focused on me and what I need to do. No more pandering and abandoning myself to go extract approval from people. Which leads me to women…

On women

It’s complicated. The desperate need for women has gone. My path is the only thing that matters. However women have given me the “lion sees dinner” look numerous times.

I’ve also felt the need to take charge of conversations with women, realising that it’s no good letting things just drift along. I can start, steer things along and end it when I want.

Neutral gear

StarkQ has a reputation for being a bit on the lazy side. I’m definitely not as driven on this as when I was motivated by fear. But things are slowly moving in the right direction. Installed my laptop table and dismantled my many art canvases. Sad as it is, it’s a new fresh, clean start.

Things are moving in the right direction north.


Where are your from?
#748

Stuck in it

So I’m still in some moderate reconciliation with both StarkQ and BLU as I’m low on motivation and drive. My sleep pattern is a little wonky with me waking up at 3am before sleeping again until 7am. Repeating BLU overnight may not have been advisable but it has brightened up my mood.

Spent several days doing nothing feeling like an absolute waste. However there is now a workspace set up in my room, as a placeholder just for writing on paper and laptop awaiting further action in the near future. It’s a commitment to the new me.

Reconciliation questions:

  • Do I feel smarter? More sociable? Like a celebrity? Not sure just yet.
  • Where will be work opportunities manifest from in the near future for someone with no experience (but drive) in an industry that is cutting left right and centre?
  • What can I do now to shorten the destination between here and there?

#749

Turning the ferry

Things are slowly moving in the right direction:

Reconciliation easing off,
No longer waking up in the middle of the night with sinusitis and blocked up head.
Desire to switch subs is also subsiding.

Small renovation of the main bedroom
Good looking on the inside needs good looking stuff on the outside.

Beliefs more positive
Finally let go of recurring thoughts of pining for and ruminating about past relationships, girlfriends and female friends who haven’t treated me with much respect. I deserve to be loved.

More confidence in my abilities and skills
Ok so it appears Beyond Limitless is the public speaking improver. BLU is slowly improving my memory, wit and confidence in speaking. I haven’t tested it out in the real world but I feel like I could speak with more fluency.

Relationship with my mother is better than ever.
She has treated me with more respect since all the emotional clearing work done on myself.


#750

reconciliation on BLU for me seems to create sinus issues as well. Interesting

yes!

that’s fucking awesome, I remember how much suffering she could cause you, this is such a powerful result.


#751

Looping Stark Ultima

Getting used to playing loops overnight as that messed me up royally on the first day. I couldn’t play more than 2 loops before wanting to punch something.

Past realisations

The time at work where I was cussed out by customers, looked at like a piece of dog shit.

I actually didn’t like my uni classmates very much. Two were jealous of my big end of class award. Most were insincere, emotionally closed off, stiff and pompous. Why on earth did I want their approval so much?

Maybe it’s something contained in StarkQ but I’m more aware of past events where I just took a load of shit from other people and just accepted it.

Maybe it’s an effect of lockdown that I’m remembering these random events. But due to my upgrade of self esteem that I can finally say that all those people were complete cunts.


#752

those conclusions just mean that you are taking responsability for your life and not accepting “False beliefs” of others to shape your reality.

Put this deeply inside your mind " You are Worthy" “You are the greatest of all time” " You are a very important piece of the puzzle we call universe"

I used to be in that situation until i recognized deeply inside myself that these stupid people (can be family also) have been my greatest fans…they were making such a big effort to put me down and restraining my potential, because they are afraid. Afraid of me showing how miserable and shitty their lifes are, how ridiculous and patethic their irrational beliefs and fears are, they knew unconsciously my full potential.

So start the ignition drive, put this people in their place and start taking massive action towards your goals whathever they might be. Nowadays i dont even care if people like me or not… i am beeing myself and that alone is enough to clean all the crap.

Just keep moving Forward… we are here to back you up :smiley: :smiley: :smiley:


#753

On Stark Ultima:

Twice I bought new items in the mall and managed to be charming, fun and dominant to attractive women. Belief is now:

"I’m fun, calm and so happy with myself, never mind how others perceive me"

Stark has a gentler form of alpha dominance. A quieter, more charming type. Motivation sounds more like "come on let’s do this, it’ll be fun. Feels like the perfect fit.

More Hugh Jackman, less Dan Peña.


#754

Peeking Out of the Shell

A few random results:

On the train, I had quite a conversation with a dude who looked like 6ix9ine’s cousin. Tattoos all over the face and good teeth. Where did this desire to talk extensively come from???

A quiet, self assured confidence is now my normal. Slightly cocky, but never antagonistic to anyone at all, in fact most are showing me respect. A sort of “good” bad boy.

But of course you can’t please everyone. Quite a few people, including attractive women are getting the impression that I’m an irritating speck in their eye. Never mind.

The love of self triumphs that.

Whitney had it right. It is so important it is to love yourself. You will get minor kickback from others, including men (and women) who hate that you have any kind of self regard. No matter. Luckily I know how to deal with it: turn inward and reinforce. This time I’m the prize.


#755

Return to Life

Getting a lift to work because I got lost on an alleyway. Dude was nice and giving, and I didn’t know how to handle it? Extremely grateful.

Doing a one off shift out of town, following the lead of the regular workers, who are (depressingly) are half my age. However their manager was a nice looking ginger blonde. First time she spoke, I switched to charm mode and gently steered her through her opening spiel. Then something happened which usually does - going away then coming back, she coughed and bowed her head walking past - unspeakable attraction.

Didn’t mean I was going to pursue it - it’s a work environment. But it’s a confirmation of StarkQ and it’s aura, gentle alpha domination and male female sexual tension.

Where’s my Libertine Ultima v2 download…


#756

More (of the same) realisations

I’m still pissed off at the schemes I’ve been involved with, especially with women that I’ve been involved with. Being told to go somewhere or volunteer my time for their own self purposes, thinking my reward would be sex affection and relationship.

When I’ve been top of my own game, women have wanted to orbit around me for a bit of shine. When I let it slip and I’m now following THEM, it all goes south.

I wasn’t real enough. I hid my real self to gain any acceptance from women. I’m a Nice Guy. I can’t believe I sold myself off for shekles. I wasn’t strong enough to draw a line with people taking advantage sooner.

Primal - The New Choice

Primal. With Stark.
What a combination!
Chosen by unconscious muscle testing.

It may be one day in but Primal is probably the second best SubClub product ever. Damn…


#757

Very interesting. I am also wondering if Primal SS might work well with Stark Q.


#758

StarkQ has some Iron Throne, combine it with PS and you have something closer to Khan. Pickup will be easy least.

Careful you don’t become someone like:

censored

Hunter Biden :flushed:


#759

i wouldnt worry about nice guy stuff as long as your the one that wanted to do what you did then it no problem, in time the subs will kick in and you will draw some boundaries, keep it up


#760

why primal instead of PS?

nevermind-just saw you said muscle testing

do you have any thoughts on why primal will be a better choice for you than PS, or just trust in the muscle testing?


#761

Ive been reading through your journal and this comment got me craving to run some loops of ascension again :stuck_out_tongue:


#762

30-day run of Ascension @ Terminus planned.


#764

I trust the muscle testing. Also last time I ran PS I was at work chasing the women. It did work as planned. Not this time round though.


#765

Primal

HOLY SHIT.

Probably the second best SubClub sub ever after Power Can Corrupt.

The missing link.

Balls. Confidence. Swagger.
Reconnects me deep with my real self.

I could see other people looking at me and thinking:
Random: “How DARE YOU walk around with bristling confidence, who the fuck do you think you are? Imma look at my expensive watch, bitch”

Me: “I don’t give a rat’s ass.”

This is the real alpha. Not flexing and bitching. Just being your real, man self. No filter. No fucks.