Finding my True North


#101

Khan
Day 30
Total Complete Breakdown

I’m exhausted. Fully broken down, ground up, face down in the mud.

This is the hardest, most taxing sub ever. The warnings on the sales page aren’t for show - Khan WILL fuck you up.

Going to ease into ST2 where @AMASH suggests is even more difficult. Yupee…


#102

Khan
Total Reprogramming
Day 1

Just glad to end the feeling of being dragged into a black hole by starting ST2. Already feeling better, but expecting an even tougher ride. I will say that I do look like a Khan, but actual dominance isn’t there yet. Plenty of hot women around for some small talk, let’s see…


#103

Khan
Total Reprogramming
Day 2

Bring on the personal power!

Dream:
Bees swarming my hand, but they are friendly.

  • Looking even more like a Khan, feeling more self confidence and self pride. It’ll be a matter of time before I escape where I am and forge a brand new life.
  • Taking little baby steps to ensure my independence
  • Catching a tasty blonde in my sights, with her responding positively before realising she’s a new mother :grin:

#104

Khan
Total Reprogramming
Day 3

Realisations: (and their existing counter beliefs)

  • I am allowed to exist! (Because you’re to keep quiet and not bother anybody. Your needs don’t count)
  • I am allowed to disregard negative opinions of others (because it’s “rude”)
  • I am allowed to detach emotionally from others (because I’m their “caretaker”)
  • I can choose to stay out late whenever I choose (because it’s “disloyal to the family” and “you’ll be permanently thrown out” of the house to starve to death. “You can’t live without us”)
  • I am allowed a voice (because you’re “too loud”, shut up)

This is fast becoming the B-side to ST1 - we’ve hollowed you out, now we’ll mindfuck you with these new beliefs. Surprise, bitch!


#105

@Michel - Woah! Love it!


#106

@raphael it gets better:

Khan
Total Reprogramming
Day 4

You can call me Female Catnip from now on…

At a prestigious location for work, a bit confused that the women were being friendly, even to the point where I got a kiss off one of the customers…

Going out to clock off, the girl there from Australia look like she was about to wet herself. I didn’t understand - I haven’t changed my style (apart from wanting to hand back my very smart uniform), I spoke the same way as before and talked about ordinary stuff, but damn


#107

Haha! Damn better alright!


#108

Khan
Total reprogramming
Day 4 and 5

Rapidly losing focus and discipline, because I’m smiling and having fun! It’s about time, from birth I’ve been responsible since birth for others. Now, let’s enjoy life. wHy So sErIoUs? Why stick so rigidly to the “rules”? I’m actually laughing at those who do. We all get paid a pittance anyway…

More young women being happy and joyful around me, I’ve taken action to introduce myself to a hot mami colleague as well as one blonde girl I keep running into.

Oh, and randomly one chick starts asking me questions on the train home and I just conversed like it was natural. She said bye as she got off.

IT’S HAPPENING!

:blush::fireworks:


#109

Khan
Total Reprogramming
Day 6

Extremely tired from working more hours, but handling it well. Caring a lot less about “achieving prominence” for “career advancement” and “promotion”. It’s more about doing what needs done - not an inch more.

I’m more interested in getting these girls switched on… In one case I thought something was wrong with this coworker girl’s eyes - they were dilated - until I realise it was an IOI!

Being more and more comfortable being open with my sexualité, in the way I dress and move, deliberately dressing in a sexual manner with zero fucks given. Like it or walk away.

Power, dominance and sexuality. That’s Khan.


#110

Khan
Total Reprogramming
Day 7

Just joined a new job, starting work soon.

Haven’t touched my Instagram page for ages now, no desire to do so. Why go back to looking for morsels of breadcrumbs of approval when I have it in real life - from myself and others? Women out here looking for real connection from a Khan.

Motherfuckers be salty… Getting the hate.

Now appreciating the breakdown stage for clearing out all the toxic failing bullshit from the past, because the new path is full of joy, love and power. However ST2 was supposed to be more difficult than ST1? What gives?


#111

Khan
Total Reprogramming
Day 8

Oh man. Found out that I’ve been listening to one loop of ST1 on top of ST2 x8, which answers rhe question of why I’m not experiencing reconciliation.

At my new work, I’ve been given a pile of shit to work with, in an extremely noisy, busy bar environment. I was told off for accepting cash payments several times when it should be credit card only. I thought this was stupid - people want to pay money, why should I not take it? The female manager threatened to send me home early for this.

This is where Khan ST2 kicked in:

I hit my limit of blasting noise, bullshit regulations and unhelpful staff, so in my extreme frustration at the work conditions I said "fine, send me home then" and walked.

The manager very soon changed her tone and became very apologetic towards me. Like, over the top sorry.

I figured that they had pissed off a Khan and regretted it. Anybody else, they wouldn’t have minded letting go. But she accommodated me right after I called her bluff.

What is it that dating coaches say? Women respect a man that tells them no.


#112

Khan
Total Reprogramming
Day 9

At another job, busting my balls cleaning up the backside of idiots who couldn’t be bothered to do their own job. Never mind, shit happens.

Had a female colleague making the mistake of trying to threaten a Khan-in-training, again.

But here’s the pattern: they start off “you will listen to me, I’m the boss, I’m going to set you straight” Then as they continue, they seem to realise who they’re dealing with, retreat from their offensive and start justifying - even qualifying themselves to me.

Meanwhile I’m doing nothing but giving solid eye contact, holding firm and staying neutral. It seems to switch roles very quickly.

Motto: Never fuck with a Khan.


#113

@Michel - haha. Never fuck with a Khan. Unless you want to really do the deed :wink:


#114

@raphael

Ladies: Never fuck with a Khan, unless you’re giving it up :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:


#115

@Michel - exactly! :joy:


#116

Interestingly, this is how they shit test you. They fuck with you. When you stand your ground, they wanna fuck you.


#117

Good, important point @raphael and this is why both female managers eventually climbed down and apologised profusely after their blowup. Even taking pity on me.

Testing seems to be about seeing if your dominance is for real. It’s nothing to do with “apologising” for misdemeanours. They want to find out if you have a spine. Once you hold firm, they change.

Is it a coincidence that that same person is now showing IOIs, even though she’s married? :sunglasses:


#118

@Michel - AHH! That’s the stuff!


#119

I have been seeing this IOI in your journal a lot.
What’s the exact term for IOI i know it means showing hints.
But I am wondering what are the exact words.


#120

@Flake_And_Milk

IOI: Indicator of interest
A woman may stroke her hair, point her feet towars you (if seated opposite), turn towards you, lick her lips, smile or cough nervously. All are unconscious behaviours that indicate that she has found a person attractive.

Shit testing is the next level, to see if your masculine core is for real. Example: you suggest to your girlfriend a type of coffee, she isn’t sure and doubts your choice, changing her mind frequently. You hold firm and stay with your choice. You’ve passed a shit test It’s all unconscious.