Foxdie's (first: QLQ + AscensionQ) QL + Primal Seduction + Dragon Reborn

#82

I notice that I post a lot on this journal Hahaha. I do it because I want to write down every change or feeling I have.

For example, now I find myself in a really strange emotional situation. Inside me I hear a strong voice, which wants to go forward and act, but then I feel another part of me trying to hinder me. I hear it as a whimpering, weak voice trying to make excuses for why I can’t excel in life (or with women), the latter being the beast to be erased. Luckily I hear the strong voice countering and finding reasons and examples from my life to move forward. It almost seems like there are two personalities inside of me Hahaha but the truth is that I feel an absurd emotional turmoil now. I feel fragile, weak and vulnerable.

Part of me is afraid and another is trying to cheer me up. Which of the two will win?

#83

The one you feed …

#84

These programmes remove fear…so yes i have had the same experience. Many peopld even asked me why am i angry…when i wasnt.
Did you listen to Khan?
If so why did you stop?

#85

Have insane compassion and love for the whimpering part of you, like you were God or a king and it was a scared subject of yours. Trying to hurt or erase it-is a fix at best and will come back to bite you. It’s like that because that part of you was split off/ traumatized attempting to protect you or resolve something your younger/child mind couldn’t deal with. Thank it for it’s service so it’s no longer needed, don’t go trying to crush it lol. The strength and self trust gained from having a great relationship with yourself/ the ‘parts’ of yourself will turn you into a legend in your own life faster than anything I can think of.

#86

I answered this question here, read the quote :grin: :

#87

Yes you are right. I never thought so. Ultimately it is also the purpose of the subs to reconcile you with yourself (hence reconciliation therm I suppose).

Accepting that part of me that feels weak is the right thing.

#88

QLQ - Day 25 (2 loops)
RegenerationQ - Day 5 (2 loops)
AscensionQ - Day 20 (2 loops)

New doubts about myself. I keep feeling lost. I can’t find the way. Questions like “how should I behave around people to be appreciated?” , “what should I do?” , “Should I be honest and show my vulnerabilities or be closed and asshole?” and a thousand other questions.

There are many doubts about many things. One thing for sure is that feeling of being vulnerable and lost inside of me, unlike the first few days when I runned Ascension which felt so strong.

Among the people, however, I do not bad. I am sure of myself and of what I say and I am at ease in general but some times I feel this feeling of inadequacy, as if what I was saying or doing did not even believe it, as if it were false. it’s hard to explain but it’s a strange feeling of not belonging as if where I am is not my real place. Is it the people? Is it the place? Or is it me? I’d like to understand what’s wrong.

In general, apart from my studies I must say, I feel helpless in my life right now. I can’t feel “adequate” where I am, I don’t (currently) feel confident on the inside, even if I try to be, I can’t do much with women.

Today I was talking with this girl I know who I find very attractive. The conversation was going very well and she was very open to me, but deep down I felt lower than her, I was not up to her. A voice in my head kept telling me “no matter what you do, it will never be yours”, even though she was laughing and having fun with me.

Ascension + Regeneration are really putting me to the test and everything I believed or didn’t believe is collapsing on me and suffocating me.

Edit:

I’m also making a thousand paranoia about the effectiveness of the sub. I wonder:

“Are they working or not? Since I’m not seeing beneficial effects at the moment”,

"And if these doubts and sadness that I have were for something else and not a consequence of the subs?

“But isn’t it that my speakers don’t make ultrasound work well?”

“Isn’t listening to them from the iPod compressed the file in some strange way and I’m not being affected by the subs?”

Today is the day of paranoia and doubts. Help! :joy:

There is a small positive thing now that I am typing this text though. I hear a little, a real little voice inside me, gentle and calm, telling me, in this sea of ​​doubts and complaints, that maybe I should stop. Maybe I should stop making excuses and complaining and start appreciating myself more for real, because all of this is just hurting me.
But for real real real!

#89

When I have this, I cut back on the number of loops. You’re running Regeneration.

The first week I ran it, after listening to just one loop a day, I wanted to shower, go to bed, and hide under the covers. And that was an older version with PrimalTech before Q. Regeneration I found the be harder than Dragon Reborn. I ran Regeneration for a total of 6 months or so, and ditched it. Now my healing subliminal is DR.

#90

QLQ - rest day 1
RegenerationQ - rest day 1
AscensionQ - rest day 1

Today I am really angry. I go ahead and still don’t get what I want. It infuriates me to see others get what they want while I can’t. I am furious.

I’m starting to believe that I have too good an attitude and people (and women mostly) perceive me as weak, unattractive and non-dominant. I’m starting to believe that all the humor, and the funny face that I do is of no use. I feel weak. My words have no effect on who I want. They are like air blowing on their faces, it has no effect.

I am a weak person.

Edit:

The thing is, I want to stop acting like I texted above. It makes me feel weak. Trying to make others laugh by being silly or making jokes, being too stupidly funny, are attitudes that don’t make me get anything, they make others think that I am stupid, that I am not a serious person and that I seek too much attention from others.

I still don’t feel attractive to women at all. I feel truly helpless with them. I see many out there who always hold a girl under their arm, by the hand or who are in company with them, but I feel a weakness that does not allow me to do anything with women.
Today there were two other girls by chance in my presence. They were kind and nice and one of them gave me those looks in the eyes that make you understand that she seems interested, but I feel too weak, every action I try just to think to do makes me uncomfortable and I don’t feel sure of my actions. I knew I had to do something but I didn’t feel the courage.

Something stops me, makes me believe that I am not enough and that I am not up to it.

I have to change but it’s difficult

#91

I’m using my stack as recommended in the last post on how to use multiple programs.

Basically I do QL for 2 loops and Ascension 2 loops and Regeneration 1 loop one day, then Regeneration 2 loops and Ascension 1 loop the other day and so on. On the fifth day 2 loops of all three.

#92

The fact that you’re fighting this, means you’re not weak. You have strength inside of you, otherwise you’ll let this go and give up. You just need to cultivate this strength, enhance it, and once you have that strength developed, your path towards becoming the best version of yourself becomes clearer and your results more tangible and enjoyable. You’ll have exponential growth in no time.

#93

Thank you a lot for the support. Knowing that there is light at the end of the tunnel it really helps you to be strong and carry on.

#94

A single thought continues to dwell in my head. I have to be more selfish in my life, but healthy selfishness. For most of my life I have always helped others, I have always been there for others sometimes I sacrificed my wishes for what I once called “friends”. All this did nothing but make me find myself alone for many times.

Now enough with this story though. I want to think about myself, only myself. I will only help those who prove to me that they deserve it and I will only be there for those who will be there for me.

When you start giving your all to others without asking for anything in return, no one starts respecting you anymore. This is not what I want.

Just healthy selfishness.

#95

Don’t entertain your thoughts too much, certainly not all the time. Thing is if you’re an overthinker you’ll always have negative thoughts running around and trying to give you doubt. Go with your first intuition and gut. Whatever second guess or thought you get dismiss it.

Also don’t jerk off too much and it’ll help a lot. You’ll trust your instincts a lot more and deal with your emotions.

#96

your words came to mind about whether I am an excessive thinker or not.

The things I posted are not because I am constantly thinking them consciously, but it is more a strong emotional reaction that I feel in my cheast that brings those thoughts to the surface. I am learning from myself and I am learning about myself. The more I go out and stay in contact with people and the more I get reactions of a certain type. The ones that I find most significant are not the external ones, of the people, but the internal, emotional ones, where I believe the subs that I am listening to are trying to correct me step by step as I do certain actions, like a car that continues to deviate off the road but there is the guard rail to keep it on the path. These internal reactions or call them “intuitions” are the ones that are making me understand where I am wrong and where I have done well on my journey.

#97

QLQ - Day 29
RegenerationQ - Day 9
AscensionQ - Day 24

Last night I had a dream that I remember. I’ve actually been having strange dreams for a few days.

In tonight’s dream I remember that I was showing a person some photos in which I was surrounded by beautiful women. This person told me “Damn how many women are you with. Blessed among women!”, But inside I didn’t believe it so much. Part of me wasn’t fully convinced.

#98

Until now I have always listened to my stack in ultrasonic format. I found that I kept the volume very loud because a couple of days ago my left ear started to hurt.
The problem was that my android device measured the volume in lower db through the microphone, while from another android I found that the volume was higher by at least 10 db.

In order to not mistake the volume again and have other problems I used a method to adjust the volume recommended to me by a user.
In practice I turn on the masked version on the stereo at a comfortable volume for me, I measure the db with frequensee and then I apply the same db for the ultrasonic version (so if I have a -70db in masked, I have to reach -70db also with ultrasonic) .

After this adjustment, now when I listen to subs I feel a slight feeling of heaviness in my chest. It is normal?

#99

I can say that I feel a lot calmer and grounded unlike the other days. It’s a good sensation, as if I were more in control.

#100

I’d actually recommend you experiment with Masked and use Dragon Fire instead of Regeneration.

#101

I’ll consider it for sure. I see many who are satisfied with it.

I would like to stay on Regeneration for a moment because I already have multi stages in my stack and I would not want to overload myself.