Gaming Mastery X - Journey To Greatness


#42

My goals have changed. Abandoning GMX for now


#43

What are your goals now?


#44

SIKE! Just major waves of reconciliation.

Day 6
5+ Hours of Limit Destroyer - 5+ Hours of GMX

Noticed that I have MAJOR MAJOR neurotic holding patterns that have become clear to me. I have an intense fear of being unskilled. Instead of owning the fear and working on my fears I suppressed them which caused them to manifest themselves in ugly ways.

Such as PURPOSEFULLY (subconsciously) missing my shots and playing bad so I could use that as a pseudo excuse to justify my bad plays which was because of me being bad and not because of any other reason. Crazy huh?!

Now I can sense if I played bad or if it was self sabotage. If it was self sabotage I get super pissed… as would anyone if they knew they were sabotaging them OWN selves!

FUCKING CRAZY!

So right now I’m trying to break these holding patterns by being brutally honest with myself. If I lose or die, its because I’m bad and vice versa.

It just make me really mad that I’m literally holding my own damn self back from achieving glory!


#45

Actually, I think its more because I subconsciously think that I don’t deserve success… WTF??? LMAO

So deliriously stupidly asinine!

Since By The Grace of Allah I’ve discovered this, road to a better future seems clear albeit I’m fearful I might forget or falter


#46

So far GMX hasn’t done much of anything other than cause all kinds of reconciliation.

All of the results I’m getting are mostly from limit destroyer, limitless & Primal

GMX causes reconciliation in the form of taking away my ability to focus. Because almost everytime I turn on GMX whilst playing I feel some sort of mental barrier holding me back from concentrating. And that takes away my gaming ability by over 70%
I’m going to keep running GMX until this reconciliation goes away; until then I wont be reporting games played.

If @Fire and @SaintSovereign… or even you guys… have any advice; I’m listening