Hold on, let me overthink this


Grandmother or godmother or the cool auntie. Once removed from kids, bake for them, spoil them then get them back to their parents. Just skip right over the having kids step. :joy:


Cool aunties are priceless.


Hands of light starts off dense. Dredging up every bit of college physics from the dusty reaches of my brain as it goes from Newtonian theory to morphogenetic fields. I’m glad I have the physical copy because the few full color figures that do exist are pretty and somewhat detailed.

Brennan, though she was born quite intuitive, started her journey firmly planted in physics before picking up other things. Her depth of study is impressive. She stresses the amount of study she feels necessary to truly practice and that seems daunting.

I should be able to finish the whole thing today, but I find myself staring off into space a bit at parts.


Which book is this? This seems interesting!


Great links, thanks

I was a healer in a past life and if I didn’t get things perfectly right the first time, people died.
So hypervigilance, perfectionism, and needing to get it right are default.
My north node Pisces involves letting go of perfectionism, that’s why I try not to think to much before posting :joy:
just practicing my spiritual path


Hands of Light is awesome, I’ll be going to a energy medicine school of a student of that author.
I believe learning and applying it could really support subliminal goals and effectiveness.


Hands of Light - Barbara Brennan


Light Emerging is the next step.


Bought a cheapo pair of sleeping headphones because the Bose NC 700 get uncomfortable and the Sennheiser has a cord that I end up wrapping around when I turn over. That was a waste of money. I woke up in the middle of the night with them mostly out of my ear so I could hear the masked track on my sleepy time sub playlist but the music I was playing alongside was lost.

I just don’t want to buy the sound sport or 20s just to use for sleeping if I have all these other things for the day.

Dreams are mostly forgotten but I do distinctly remember telling someone I made macaroni and cheese in a context where it probably related to Cardi’s line in WAP. :woman_shrugging:

Logged into OKCupid after [interesting name] likes you! came up as a push notification and was like “who the f is named [name]?” I was greeted (not the first time) by the whole list of people I painstakingly said “no” to over the years showing up as “new.” (You can’t just swipe left in A list, you have to click in and select x, it’s still not as bad as Happn where if you say no in your timeline you have to click into the profile, click show them again on your timeline and then select x from the profile in your likes page).

Each time this happens I wonder what the point of paying for a-list is if it can’t even remember my choices. Sometimes it will do this for intros too. if you write an intro it’ll still try to show it in that tab after someone has said no to you on likes. Ain’t nobody got time to go through all of them again.

I haven’t looked at it in weeks and it’s on some nonsense again. I do have an almost compulsion to reduce the number of new likes/intros to zero so I can accurately gauge how many there really are. This is like a rambling rant to nowhere.

Tl;dr OKC needs to fix their shit.

Conversely a few weeks back Tinder just up and poofed almost every person I’d ever swiped right on and it felt very freeing. Not holding onto conversations you never plan on finishing is lovely.

Yesterday, after my loops of Maia II and a brief visit to Whole Foods: I dug in and got right up to the healing portion of Hands of Light before I had to call it quits. There’s at least a hundred more pages left full of exercises for self and others.

Have an energy session this evening that I hope the amazon delivery people don’t interrupt.

Think I will do my revamped custom again today and then take a break for as long as I can tomorrow.


Hmm yeah there are at least two practitioners here if I get more interested. I’d love to hear about your experience once you’re done.


this quote alone is worth the price of admission.


it’s like a curated group of rejections


I mean, I’d rather they disappear, but you have to block someone to remove them from the list and that’s more clicks. Plus I don’t know if it affects someone’s profile badly (even though I’m not reporting). I don’t want to f up their algorithm I just want to not see them in my list, you know?

I do, however, use the paid option on other apps to keep a list of people I might like to contact if they’re still available when I actually feel like having feelings. :joy: see how a bunch of nahs messes that all up?


Yup. Made sense from the beginning. Got to have a system.

I was just cracking up thinking about what touring that museum exhibit would look like.

The Hall of The No-Clicked

People in stasis, or maybe revolving holograms, with little cards under the glass explaining who they were and exactly why they were no-clicked.

I guess that’s the kind of museum that only exists in one’s imagination. haha. Maybe everyone has their own little gallery. (Perhaps this is what comes of running so much Mind’s Eye Terminus2.)


OkCupid lost their way ever since they were acquired by the Match Group. A lot of people don’t realize this, but OkCupid, Tinder, Match.com, Plenty of Fish, etc are owned by the same company.

I had a lot of fun on OkC back when they positioned themselves as a legit social experiment. Then, it went full on “make as much money as possible” and I lost interest.

Take a look at Coffee Meets Bagel and Bumble. I met people of a “higher quality” on those as opposed to the others.


The illusion of competition is GREAT! :roll_eyes:


I’ve long suspected okcupid isnt broken. Just engineered in a way to exploit humans. I think they got sued for fake likes to get people to sign up for a-list at one point. It’s kinda sick what they’re willing to do. Apparently they also “experimented” with match percentage. Just taking completely incompatible people and making them a 90% match. But the matching sucks anyway. Not enough people answer the questions or they choose the most arbitrary pointless stuff. Like “What shoe do you put on first?” Yes because I only date women that put on the left shoe first. Now you got me rambling lol


Watch out for those left show first ones. Nothing but trouble.


That philosophy is going to get you left. (dad joke)

sorry, @mnemosyne. back to regularly scheduled programming.


Trust, I think I’ve been on every one but inner circle and raya. I have most of them on pause because of pandemic mode.

CMB annoyed the hell out of me. yeah some profiles were better substance but the packaging wasn’t.

Bumble is tinder, but I gotta talk first.

The League is less options tinder, but make it LinkedIn. I even had the paid version of this for a while due to a combination of considering it, my phone still having the home button for thumbprint accept and a poorly timed jolt of a subway car. It was not worth it as they recycle the same 3-5 people over the course of a week. The chat rooms were fun pre pandemic just to watch.

Happn is tinder but people you passed by in a country months ago can still find you and march plus randoms you pass in a taxi on the way to the airport. Happn in Paris was lit though.

Hinge is hipster tinder, but everyone else jumped on their video snippet craze. Back when it was very new they didn’t really moderate on the weekends so when you swiped you started to see naughty bits profiles show up till someone could get to it on Monday. I’m glad they blew up more just to save my eyes.

Unfortunately unless I’m very strict about my settings there I tend to get a lot of likes from people I don’t feel compatible with so I shied away from it.


I did end up listening to maia ii on repeat for a while yesterday. Ordered a few more books. Did some exercises in hands of light.

My reiki session was amazing and then I promptly passed out a few hours later and slept late into the day (for me). I know the initial work I have to do and I trust this practitioner more than the last one so let’s see. It somewhat bleeds into my north node Leo things and that synergy works for me.

I feel drawn to my revamped custom again so I shall listen then do a sleepy time mix. Maybe just get a 5 day run going for the updated one before settling into a rhythm.

A few friends and my mentor have asked me when I’ll come out of hibernation so I’ll try to see at least one of them this weekend.


Back to the app thing. I’d been pondering a move out west to Cali before the pandemic hit. I enjoyed my visits and the vibe plus the “numbers game” is completely flipped if you hold any truth in the ratios of seekers of the genders you gravitate towards on either coast. The apps certainly spun this story even beyond the first few visits where I think your profile becomes akin to fresh meat for the picking.

I also was looking abroad. Trying to choose which language I immersed myself in based oh my experiences in the countries.

Both of these moves would require an entirely different company to work for unless I moved to SF or the UK and even then would be in entirely different areas. Neither of these were my top picks anyway so it would feel like settling. I guess I have a lot to ponder and who knows when things will settle in a new normal?

Will focus on the now and myself as I’m apparently meant to do.