Into the dark dark yonder - Neurokinetic's custom journal


#61

Honestly, that’s just what I needed to hear/read. My date had to cancel tonight. Her reason sounded legitimate enough, unsure if she was being dodgy or not (leaning toward not - she said she had to help a friend who is in a bad mental state and she is very much the nurturing/matriarch type).

That said I’m tired of coming from a place of lack. Tomorrow I’m going to go out and meet girls and be my charming self. I’m good looking, have a unique style. I’m funny, smart, and compassionate. Time to make myself known. Time to stack my deck.

Also gonna set up my Tinder account again because honestly, why the fuck not. I’m just limiting myself by not putting myself on dating apps.


#62

I mean, try to assume positive intent. I’m nurturing to friends but anyone else and they’re gonna have to break down 50-11 wall to get there.

Tinder is an absolute mess but at least you can tell what people are looking for (for the most part). Honestly all the apps are different flavors of the same.

OKC: Copy your livejournal rant + lots of ENM
Bumble: Tinder but the woman has to talk first
CMB: who thought coffee and bagels was a good idea? Like a f2p game that is actually p2w if you want to like people consistently
Hinge: hipster Tinder
The League: LinkedIn Tinder, whale to win
Raya: influencer Tinder
Happn: oh so we “passed by” each other 5 days ago and I’m already in a different state or cab/truck drivers in your area


#63

What do you mean by this??

I was planning on using Tinder, Bumble, and maybe Hinge. I was going to be outright open in my profile. I took a course awhile ago on “becoming a sex god”. Basically my opening line will be something along the lines of:

“Imagine if you could feel the most powerfully exquisite pleasure you’ve ever felt. Touched how you want to be touched, kissed how you want to be kissed, fucked how you want to be fucked. They say 15-20% of women have never experienced a real orgasm and 60-70% have never experienced one with another person. I want to learn you in ways you might not have thought possible. Educated, left-leaning centrist, with a good job. I don’t care what your beliefs are as long as you don’t believe in hatred toward others. Open to/prefer exploring a deeper emotional connection but not necessarily looking.”

There will be some tweaks, and throw in some good pictures (one with a little humour especially). Should work out alright I think


#64

Hmmm. I mean I’m not a gooshy emotional person. + tons of emotional walls. Air sign, value logic + wit + intellect over vague promises.

Not gonna lie, but if I read that I would have a good laugh and move on my way.

For the person intrigued + looking for/ unable to find that, I guess it might seem interesting… but like so many openers are sexual in nature and that’s annoyingaf no matter what the package it comes in.

Yes, you’re trying to stand out from the near overwhelming amount of options she has, but I dunno. I’m also probably not the one to ask as I’m not in the demo you’re targeting if that opener is anything to go by. A woman can throw a proverbial rock and hit someone who’s interested in her on those apps.

How they choose which ones pass through the swipe fatigue is varied beyond “are they attractive to me, not intense enough to stalk me, and do the look like a good time?”

If you look good enough to them you could have office quotes and tacos and [insert profile trope here] and still succeed.


#65

Eeeh I’ll test it out, see how it goes. I’m banking on the assumptions that a) some girls do appreciate the directness and b) quarantine has got people starved a little bit.

If I test it and it does work, then the types of girls I match with will be what I’m looking for right now. I really don’t expect to meet anyone for something long-term on these apps. Even though I do know a handful of people who met their significant others via dating apps, that percentage is small. Part of my day to day work is going to involve talking to lots of random people and building a vast social network. The person I’m with long-term would most likely come from a social circle


#66

Though if you have any suggestions for good one liners/profiles that did pull your intrigue I’m always open to new ideas


#67

Day 8
Today is a new day
I’m really happy I wrote out that profile. Before it was just a few ideas in my head. I’m SUPER happy I wrote it here and not on an actual app profile. After going to bed I went over the words and got less and less happy with them. They say good writing is in the rewrites. I’m going to write it over in a notebook, sit on it for a day, change it, sit on it for a few hours/a day, repeat until I have something I’m happy with.

While working on that, I’m going to work on talking to random people casually. I’m going to try and talk to a few people today with no other purpose than having a conversation. I used to be great at meeting people randomly - somehow, some-when, I lost that skill. I know I can get it back. I believe it is in me and I can move through the world making friends wherever I go


#68

Or something worse. Relevant experiment here. Also guys do the tacos and office thing too?! I’m convinced it’s just bots.

Tinder experiment


#69

It’s not just bots. People are lazy.


#70

Well that’s just messed up. What the fuck, people


#71

Day 9

Still having trouble taking action. Up until now, it has been tougher than I thought to break the chains of my bad habits. Though that is not to say there are no improvements. I’ve noticed my cognitive functions are higher. I’m seeing patterns easier, focusing better, hand-eye coordination is improving. I am undeniably making inner game improvements, my internal dialogue is WAY more positive. I had a plan today to go do a few errands that would get me out talking to people but slept in late. My sleep the last two nights has dropped in quality but that is my fault. I’ve been snacking on some edibles that were in my fridge. Since I stopped smoking weed, they hit a lot harder.

I have a weekly meetup that I try and get to as often as I can later this afternoon so that will give me a chance to interact with people and use the language skills I’ve been learning. I choose to practise what I’ve learned in order to actualize the power behind the lessons. Knowledge is not power, knowledge is potential power - knowledgeable action is power.


#72

Day 9.2
Kind of a frustrating day. The site I was doing my language pattern lessons on did some sort of weird update or something and now half the video courses don’t play their videos (some of these programs costs thousands of dollars so hopefully they get it fixed asap).

I went to the meetup, didn’t really use any language pattern skills. However I was getting heavy IOIs from some of the girls there. One especially who was jumping all over me and made a remark implying something she said on the phone was meant to be naughty. By the time she got to the meetup i was pretty physically exhausted, though, as I’d been there a few hours already. I left shortly after she got there but we made tentative plans to see each other tomorrow.

While at the meetup I practised new poi moves. I listened to Beyond Limitless Ultima a few hours before going. While I wasn’t able to significantly make progress on any particular move, I was able to pay attention to what parts of my technique needed improvement. BLU + regular practise will definitely amp up my skill level this summer.

I decided to take action on using these language pattern skills. I’m part of a Facebook group that does web calls to get together and practise the skills. I posted in the group asking for help and am doing a one-on-one with another member tomorrow morning. I’m blessed and grateful that this group even exists because otherwise there would be no real way for me to practise the skills in a totally no-stakes situation AND also get valuable feedback.


#73

Day 10

Had some trouble sleeping last night. So much so that I was considering pushing back the scheduled video call I had this morning to practise my language skills/patterns. I managed to get out of bed and stick it out, though. Throughout the call I actually felt energized in a sense, almost as soon as it ended I was back to being fatigued and got a massive headache. I have a feeling this might all be (at least partly) due to dehydration. I have a lot of trouble staying hydrated, despite the fact that water is the only thing I drink ever. Might go take a small nap to see if it helps ease some of the exhaustion.

The language pattern/persuasion course videos are still not working (groan). So I won’t be able to finish the course I was in the middle of. Depending on my energy levels I may go out and practise the language patterns/skills in public with strangers. Will also text the girl from yesterday and see about meeting up with her today


#74

Day 11
Slept terribly last night. Easily the worst sleep I’ve had in awhile. I don’t think the subs had anything to do with it. I woke up in the middle of the night with a fever and a full body ache/numbness. It has since subsided, my best guess is that it was a mild case of food poisoning. Regardless, I am incredibly fatigued and weak this morning.

The video courses seem to be back and working now, so I can finish the course I was in the middle of. I also am setting up more Zoom chats with members from the private Facebook group to practise the skills.

I texted the girl from the other day but she never replied. I’m supposed to hang out with the girl I took to the drive-in tonight so we’ll see how that goes.

Thinking of switching Mind’s Eye T^2 with the regular Mind’s Eye Q on one of my days. Not sure if I will but it’s being contemplated. Running T^2 every day might be a bit of an overload. Admittedly, my internal visualization does seem to be improving.


#75

Day 12
Slept pretty good last night. Not amazingly but better than the last couple of nights for sure. Yesterday I got a fair amount of work done. I’m definitely starting to ramp up my productivity. My desire to grow my business is exploding.

The girl that I took to the drive in came over to watch movies last night. We had a really good time, good chatter, etc. There were definite IOIs in her body language. She kept leaning in closer to me, especially during the more tense situations in the movies. There were times where it felt like she was pulling away, almost like she was all of a sudden realizing how close we were and “snapping out of it”. I used a few of the rapport building skills and language skills that I’ve been learning. By all accounts they seem to have been effective. More practice will almost certainly yield better results, which is tremendously exciting.


#76

Day 14
Having kind of a meh experience lately. Slept weird last night and messed up my neck. Had a girl come by late last night, we’d fooled around in the past but nothing happened. She said she was looking for more “spiritually awake” friends, so we had a long talk about spirituality and her journey.

Had a massive headache throughout most of last night, and am feeling purely uninterested in most things today. Possibly signs of reconciliation.


#77

Day 14.2

My mom called me today and we had a looooooooooooong talk. This is super weird. Normally when I talk to my mom it’s “hi, how are you? Good. Okay. Bye.” Almost all of our conversations are simply to touch base, we don’t have a super strong relationship where communication is open. And even then when we do have long conversations, they are usually argumentative in nature. Today was different. Even though we both had opposing views, we were able to amicably discuss them. It was by far and away one of the most “close TV-family” type conversations I’ve ever had with her. I have definitely been using language patterns with her to get more rapport and show her that I am listening/understanding her which I feel has played a huge part. I’m incredibly happy with the results I’m getting using these incredibly simple and basic techniques and it’s only further encouragement to master the more higher level techniques


#78

Day 15
Hell YES Ultima Libertine. The test journals have been so exciting. Can’t wait to take this out

Somehow managed to make my neck even worse. Woke up this morning and would get a randoms shooting pain up my shoulder and neck just from moving. It’s since calmed down a little but man oh man it was incredibly debilitating.

Despite that Sunday is my “rest” day, I find myself always playing the new Ultima products every week. I played two loops of Libertine Ultima today while doing other work. Noticed some physical changes almost right away. My body language is consistent with a more sexual stance. When I look in the mirror it’s almost like looking at a slightly different, suddenly more attractive version of myself. Not sure if there has been real physical changes to my appearance or if it’s auric, but there’s certainly a difference.

While I was planning on going out and testing it, turns out the places I was planning on going today are closed on Sundays so my errands got pushed to tomorrow.

My headache went away. Not sure what solved it, as I did wake up with a massive headache. Not sure if it was the food, water, or iced capp that got rid of it but it is a nice feeling to have a clear head again and I’m grateful for it.


#79

You can still measure volume and contrast that. you can use the sum of X and Y using a straight ruler, convert to a circle and get a circumference/diameter.


#80

Aye, textbook reconciliation.