King's Subliminal Journey

#62

Day 18

DR X 2
Mogul X 2

I realise that for the past few years, my self-confidence has dropped so much that I have been willing to take low-hanging fruit in terms of jobs, projects or other sources of income for the sake of fulfilling very basic financial obligations.

It is an important thing about myself that has to be corrected, especially the idea that I should take anything that comes because I am not worthy of anything that significantly adds value to my life.

And strangely, whenever a big opportunity that I feel suits me comes along and I get the strong feeling that it fits me perfectly , the moment I tell somebody about it, it just vanishes.

Right now I may have to go take another temporary job for fast money again, but I really hope that I will get out of the rut soon.

A short-term goal is completing 20 days of Dragon Reborn ST1, and then I will look forward to completing 25 days of Dragon Reborn ST1. I have completed about 13 days for Mogul Q.

#63

Perhaps I have been making myself miserable by trying to play catch up with my peers and really caring about what they think about me. The sense of isolation in school when I was a kid as well as the overprotective environment I grew up in still continues to haunt me and influence my worldview.

To an extent, itā€™s also a feeling that my family is disappointed in me for not striving hard enough to become a success when I had the resources when i was young (even though I didnā€™t have the emotional qualities needed to succeed).

I really need to work on losing any emotional attachment to such thoughts - they are gone forever.

#64

Iā€™m not running EOG but Mogul for now, but I came across an article about wealth in Asia and how it is perceived.

For a long time, I have always wondered what it is like becoming rich through a career like banking, and being a private banker or senior banker accorded one the desired social status coming along with it - yes, wealth is often insufficient without the social status that comes with it.

The writer of the article below rightly pointed out below that as the wealthy lifestyle that you have as a corporate employee does not really belong to you and you might easily lose it just as you have gained it when you give up your job or lose it.

While I am dirt-poor at the moment, I did learn something about what it really means to be wealthy from the article.

Ultimately, though, bankers in Asia are just there to service the billionaires. Eddie may own five cars, 70 watches and live on Hong Kongā€™s Victoria Peak, but heā€™s locked out of his familyā€™s fortune, relies on his banking job for money, and feels ā€œextremely deprived compared to most of his friendsā€. In the novel, Kwan describes the ā€œenvyā€ coursing through Eddieā€™s veins when visiting his friendā€™s new triplex penthouse (complete with computer-control wardrobes) in Shanghai.

ā€œWhen bankers visit rich people in China, theyā€™re often confronted with staggeringly blatant displays of wealth, which can cause them to feel inadequate,ā€ adds the Hong Kong banker. ā€œIn this early stage of Chinaā€™s development, success is measured by your ability to show off your wealth in the houses you own, the cars you drive and the luxury brands you wear.ā€

#65

Day 19
DR x 2
Mogul x 2

I had just finished doing a few product shots for my friendā€™s business and another friend contacted me and said he wanted me to be a product photographer to support his new business development and market role. Well, he said he spoke to the CEO of his company about this - so I am sure something could come out of this.

#66

Nice thing are looking up, you started to think on these up and coming projects as yet

#67

Day 20
DR x 2
Mogul x 2

Iā€™ve run DR ST1 for 20 days now. Will run at least 2 more 5-day cycles of DR ST1 until early Jan.

#68

DR ST1 and Mogul in a way really dig deep and make me question what type of wealthy lifestyle I want to lead.

Do I want to be wealthy by making money by working my way up a company (which I am feel I am too late in the game for anyway)? Or do I want to be wealthy by being an entrepreneur? Or an investor?

In fact, I like the freedom and intellectual asoects of being an investor compared to actually managing a business, which requires a different skill set that I donā€™t exactly possess.

I have a fond interest in becoming wealthy through investments, even though I am still at the very very early stage of accumulating capital, having made lots of mistakes in my financial security journey over the past 20 years.

I guess itā€™s still not too late to start investing when my money starts coming in again.

When I have achieved the goals DR ST1 and Mogul hopefully by the middle of next month, I may run DR ST2 with a modified version of Glorious Dynasties since there is so much in the Q-Store now.

#69

I was asked by my friend to contact her friend running the consultancy. The boss keeps a low profile due to the type of work that he does - lots of investigative due diligence work for customers bordering the level of commercial espionage but not quite - but this is something right up my alley and I have always wanted to do something similar to investigative journalism. Plus the work pays well too even though I probably will work on a contract basis.

This would also be a chance to start running Limitless or Quantum Limitlessā€¦ when I get the opportunity to work on such projects.

#70

Subliminal Break Day.

I was asked about my salary expectations about the investigative due diligence job - initially wanted to sell myself cheap but I decided against it and quoted a higher hourly rate.

#71

And so I will embark on my next 5-day run of DR ST1 and MogulQ. By the end of this run, I should have done 25 days of DR T1 and 20 days of MogulQ.

It has been a humbling experience so far, and I donā€™t really think I am stonewalling as DR ST1 is very subtle. However, I have started to lose interest in continuing some negative behaviours of mine.

Over the past few weeks, Iā€™ve also realised that a lot of the unhappiness in my life is due to my lack of power, confidence and control over my own reality. I also realised more and more that a lot of conflict in my family and in society is based on power dynamics and control over narratives. For example, many people are manipulated by people in power who have control of the narrative, which requires a degree of power and influence to perpetrate.

It is also this lack of personal power due to my upbringing that has shaped many major decisions in life. Due to an inability or unwillingness to project my own personal power, I had often tried to run away from problems instead of facing them.

Iā€™ve had a lot of people lording over me or disrespecting me for some reason or another and I never liked it, but had been brought up to believe that I should always ā€œknow my position in societyā€ and that ā€œself-esteemā€ is ā€œa very individualistic and egoistic term belonging to the me generationā€.

When Iā€™m done with 30 days of Mogul Q, depending on my budget and my progress, I may run a customized Ascended Mogul subliminal containing PCC and Mastermind. I want to build up my confidence and my personal power again - I should have done this long ago in fact.

I want to be able to shape my own life narrative instead of letting others do it for me.

Iā€™ve decided to stay away from Emperor for one year - perhaps a custom Ascended Mogul for a year containing the right modules would be good enough.

#73

Day 22

Busy day today with my brotherā€™s wedding and I had no time to listen to subliminals. Perhaps Iā€™ll just settle with 1 loop of DR ST1 and Mogul later.

I did have some thoughts about my life during the wedding ceremony. My younger brother is much younger than me and he has a great career in a well-known company. A lot of the wedding guests who arrived I were his colleagues who I saw were sauve, confident and most likely well-off. Actually my cousins seemed to be doing quite well too, though only my uncles and aunties had come to grace the occasion.

I felt that some of my relatives ignored me as they knew I wasnā€™t doing well in life.

It may be a recurring thought that I keep on feeling robbed of my childhood and my youth. I was asked about the state of my finances by my mother, and this is something that she always believes is her right to know, while I personally feel itā€™s my own business.

Yes, Iā€™m not doing well, and while I donā€™t want to blame my parents, having a domineering mother who wanted to control every aspect of her childā€™s life as much as possible and for as a long as possible has had negative repurcussions, as much as the mother would believe that she is doing things for the good of the child.

Anyway, I just donā€™t like it when they give advice on what I should do with my life when they mismanaged their own finances.

I feel that itā€™s been this sense of control that held me back from actually wanting to do the stuff I could do - apart from dyspraxia of course.

Anyway, enough said.

I need to focus on whatever opportunities I have at the moment to generate enough income so that I can rebuild my life. I have to set some goals to be accomplished within the next 3 months and the next 6 months.

#74

Sound nice camt wait to hear your rest of modules, wishing you all the best

Good plan make them SMART goals, looking it up its a system for goal setting

#75

Day 23

2 loops of DR so far

Feel quite depressed today with tears in my eyes. While I have been particularly unhappy with thoughts from yesterday, I am not sure why it led to me crying.

Or perhaps it is just due to the cold I caught when I woke up this morning.

#76

Day 24

Plan to continue with 2 x DR and 2 x Mogul. I will have done 25 days of DR and 20 days of Mogul by the end of tomorrow. I feel quite impressed with myself as I have not gone past 3 weeks for most of my previous subliminals this year.

Woke up after quite a vivid dream though it was again of a very mundane theme.

Anyway, while I was brushing my teeth, I thought about the financial stress I was undergoing and wondered if it was connected to my stomach. It was just a random thought as I canā€™t ā€œfeelā€ emotions in my body like my others.

But today, that idea that financial stress affected itself in my stomach and not any else in my body popped up of nowhere.

Perhaps that is why I am always hoping to feel the literal ā€œfire in my bellyā€.

Ironically, I have been finishing up a report about company financial performance in a certain sector in 2019, and the companies in this sector are facing a lot of financial stress now due to the pandemic.

#77

One limiting belief that I need to get over is that the world is conspiring against me and that I am cannot control my own reality. Itā€™s a belief that has me constantly hammered onto me by society, by religion, by my parents, by friends as well as by ā€œlife coachesā€ , ā€œgurusā€ and other ā€œspiritual know-it-allsā€.

I think I have to continue running DR until this limiting belief gets weaker and weaker and does not have an impact on me.

#78

Feeling very very down today.

#79

Sunconcious is working on somethingā€¦or you entered the world of Reconcilliation.

#80

Not sure when I will climb out of this to be honest.

Itā€™s a terrible feeling, one of the worst I have had.

#81

Hang on you will be free soon.
Be strong as your name @King
:muscle:

#82

Day 25

1 X DR and 1 X Mogul. Planning to do 1 more loop of DF before the subliminal break of 2 days.

Been very busy re-doing and re-doing my commercial research report today as I really want it to be perfect and not sloppily done.