Le Journal de BillPerry™


As for the “healing” or “breakdown” dreams, they always seem to follow the pattern of I’m back in the Navy, back on submarines. I’m always running late, usually because I’ve misplaced something like my ID card, or my uniform.

I really don’t want to go back in the Navy, so not sure what’s up with that. I’m sure the SubC has a lot of baggage around the Navy years I did. It’s one of those things were the most I listen, the more of these dreams i have.

I’ll gladly push through and listen. But I gotta believe these dreams will stop eventually. Otherwise, I’ll go nuts.


I’ve had Executive playing today while working on my hypnosis website. It’s a “big” project which I’m calling “The Future of Hypnosis.” Maybe it’s exaggeration. I don’t think so though :slight_smile:
I didn’t have Executive on loop. I am just playing it and once I notice it’s done, playing it again.

4 loops so far today as I work on the website. I don’t feel like obsessive about it or anything, but I’ve been working on it about 6 hours so far. I just feel like I could likely keep working on it all day and night.

One thing I did notice is if/when the wife is asking me to help her with X (whatever X is. Been a few times today), I feel annoyed that she’s bugging me. I’ve got a friend from forum I chat with offline and have described some of that. I will be exploring some alpha-themed subs at some point so I can start to address that idea of family respecting my time when I’m working on a project.

BILLionaire should be here within the next few days, that doesn’t have much by way of Alpha stuff ,though.

I think my next custom will be either a super-learning and cognitive booster or one focused on purely alpha/assertiveness/aggressiveness (the way Jocko defined it in a video someone linked in forum a couple weeks ago).


At the end of that 4th loop of Executive, I felt like my head probably wouldn’t be able to take anymore. So I played a loop of Elixir Ultima followed by Rebirth Ultima.

I can’t say that added to my productivity…but that isn’t the goal. I think, if anything, those 2 did some deep work while I kept working on the site.

I got quite a lot done on it, including really diving in on using JavaScript to programmatically create page elements. Drop-down menus mostly.

All in all, today kicked ass. I work tomorrow at the day job, then off Tuesday and Wednesday, and other than Tuesday being Gym day (about an hour or so in the morning) and a follow-up doc appointment on Wednesday, I’ll be working my ass off to get this site into a fully prototyped status so I can test out the idea I’m working on.

All I can say is fuckin shit man! Love this shit.


did running three ultimas make you feel any different since i think they said that two a day should be the most?


Man, my dreams are usually just surreal weirdness… #abitjealous :rofl:


last night’s stack since I was taking a break from Khan1:

Libertine Ultiima (V1) (masked)
Khan Q ST4 (masked)
MInd’s Eye Q Terminus Swuared(masked)
Mind’s Eye Q (Ultrasonic)

No dreams to speak of.

I know. I know. Not REALLY a rest day. I just feel “naked” (to quote @d1gz) without listening to SOMETHING.

Today, I was back to KhanQ ST1/TB. got 3 loops of that in (masked at low volume on work headset)…then a loop of Primal Seduction Q Masked.

I got a horrible headache and ended up leaving work 3 hours early. Not sure if the headache itself was directly reconciliation.

I DID get more pissy about the job than usual, though.

Like, my coworker who struggles with it as much or more than I do, she was trying to get me out of my funk. “At least we’re here trying to kick the day’s ass! We’re doing our work!”

and I said something I’ve said before, but it really resonated today:

“But the work we’re doing isn’t worth a shit! We’re helping people figure out what the charge is they’re seeing on their bank statement. WHOOPIE!”

lol shit like that.

I even told her “I could die on my lunch break today, and realistically, only a few people would miss me. and it isn’t like they’d be talking about how life-changing my job was for people. Especially 5 years from now, nobody will give a SHIT what I did for my career.”

I’m sure Khan is digging some deep-ass holes under my shitty foundation…good.


lol. I said deep assholes

Sub: KhanQST1/TB
Start Date: 10/22/2020
Projected Competion 11/19/2020
Day 6
Goal (Hours) 100
Completed (Hours) 25
Percent Done 25.00%
Hours listened today 4

I’m just about to finish up the 4th loop and wanted to get it reported before midninght.

I’m not feeling recon like I was earlier (while on the day job).
Is it really reconciliation about the job if it fades as soon as I’m done working for the day? Even if I’m listening to the EXACT SAME sub stage?

Starting to wonder if i’m just a shitty lazy employee now :worried:


Yeah, don’t you think/feel it might be to much? I’ve never tried it and got overloaded only on Terminus but three Ultimas sound a bit crazy to me. :sunglasses:


I did do 4-5 loops of Rebirth Ultima one night…can’t say that I had any healing dreams to speak of.
or that I felt any different upon waking…but I know healing takes more than one night.

As for “too many”…even Saint has said he’s done 5 loops of BLU while sleeping (took some melatonin) as I recall and is getting unexpected results same as if he’d done a major.

I think the “No more than 2 a day” recommendation is probably more of a “See how that goes” type of recommendation…trying to keep people safe.

And, hey, someone has to take the plunges…may as well be me.

I’ve yet to try Executive 4-5 loops while asleep…maybe that’ll be tonight’s test.


Thanks for the detailed description and sure it’s good to experiment that’s the baseline for using SC subs. In that case it’s rather about using three different Utlimas at once than running one Ultima for more than is recommended. Could you kindly refer to that, please?


The most I’ve done so far is looped RebirthU and Elixir U twice each in bed. And the only other Ultima I have is Executive…so haven’t tried all 3 at once.


At the end of that 4th loop of Executive, I felt like my head probably wouldn’t be able to take anymore. So I played a loop of Elixir Ultima followed by Rebirth Ultima.

How about that?


Haven’t noticed much of anything yet. Not made a serious run of it yet, though. Been doing Khan ST1 the past few days while I wait for my money to clear so my custom will get built.


the most ultimas i run is two, i ran three one but one loop each for the day, didnt feel any difference, felt the effects of each ultima but wont try that again lol


I came across a great quote today from Brian Moran while reading his “Weekly Success Tips” email.

“There is a profound difference between training to do something and trying to do something.” - Brian Moran

I think this may sum up part of my lack of results. I’ve been “trying” when I should be “training” more. Training, a good relevant book…or even just old-school repetition, improvement and iteration (read: Practice)


That’s why on rest days, I opt to listen to music. Whether it be rock, pop, country or even classical, any genre is acceptable as long as I have something to listen to.


Well well well… Gather round the fire boys and girls.

Sub: KhanQST1/TB
Start Date: 10/22/2020
Projected Competion 11/24/2020
Day 7
Goal (Hours) 100
Completed (Hours) 26
Percent Done 26.00%
Hours listened today 1

After that one KhanQ ST1 listen, I listened to other things piecemeal throughout the day and evening as I put in more focused work on my website I mentioned above.

I remember EoG ST1 was in there somewhere, as was Mogul Q. I don’t quite remember now what else was. (I just woke up).

I went to bed at 4:30 AM or 5:00 AM my time (sorta had to force myself since I have a medical appointment today.

In bed, I listened to my playlist twice but changed it the second time. Even half-awake Bill gets sub inspiration.

The playlists I listened to in bed

The first playlist:

The second playlist: (I did Khan3 because I have a sudden desire to listen to Primal Seduction: Iron Throne stacked with Libertine…and this si the closest I have to PS: IT as far as I know.)

During the first playlist, I woke up disoriented partway through the 2nd of 3 Libertine runs.
Turned the volume down a tad on the playback and kept it going. That helped. Went right back to sleep and ended up in the same dream I was in before.

Once the playlist was over, I got up to let one cat out and give the other her food.
Then playlist 2…Went back to sleep. SAME DREAM yet again.

The dreams themselves were so HUGE, like a movie, I can’t even begin to write details.
There is ONE dream I remember specifically, from the first Libertine playlist.

Dream Fragment: Sexual content. That's why I hid it in the dropdown thingy

Dream fragment: A cute coworker is over at my house. Wife has to go somewhere. I forget what. After she leaves, I tell my friend I’m going to go lay in bed. She says “I’ll go lay with you.”

We go lay in bed, I’m originally am planning to watch TV or read on my Kindle.
Once she’s there with me, I then say “You know. I’ve wanted you for a while. Let’s do this.”

She says “I thought this would NEVER happen. Let alone THIS easily!”
I’m feeling some trepidation now. Like “What am I actually about to DO here?”

Then I think “Fuck it. I wanna know what it’s like.” We start kissing. Making out. I start rubbing on her arms as we kiss. She starts orgasming and cumming from the skin contact. “God you’re so good!” All that.

I then reach down and finger her…and that’s over in about 3 seconds.
Suddenly the wife comes in the bedroom. Somehow we move around real quick so it doesn’t look like we’ve done anything wrong.

I say “What’s wrong? You forget something?”

Her: “Yeah, I need my (forget what she tells me)”

The whole time, she’s oblivious. I suddenly feel bad for having done anything, but also simultaneously loved every second of it. I feel like I’ve messed up, of course. But I’m more worried if my friend is going to be able to keep it a secret.

I woke up immediately after the playlist was over.

I don’t feel the same guilt I did in the dream. Possibly since I realize now it was a dream.

Libertine Ultima V1 definitely has more noticeable short-term effects. I wanted to stack it with the PS:IT in KhanQ3 to see if she’d wake up horny like she did the first time I listened to V1.

Maybe the other stuff in KhanQ3 was more than I bargained for, as evidenced by the dream lol.

Thoughts are welcome of course…


could be a little experiment lol, go for it and see, good to see you a quarter of the way there


Well ain’t THIS some funny shit? lol

Before wife went to bed, I did Khan3 and LibertineU V1…want that PS:IT action to stack in with Libertine.
At first, she was all “I’m not really feeling it tonight”.

She was in the bathroom, doing her lady things.

I went into the bedroom, stripped naked. I did the “naked man” from How I Met Your Mother for anyone familiar. She walked in, saw me and laughed…score :slight_smile:

The “Aint’ this some funny shit?” comment is because my voice got super fucking deep after we did the deed. Enough so SHE commented on it.

I’m in my home office right now working on my current website project before I have to literally force myself to bed (work the daily grind tomorrow).

I poured myself a hot cup of herbal tea, and I usually just say “Hey Siri” and then “13 minutes timer please”.

Siri wasn’t responding :smiley:
I had to purposely raise my voice register back up a notch for Siri to recognize my voice!