My Total Breakdown


#87

@SubliminalUser I was tagging the wrong person. My mistake. My last two replies were actually meant for you


#88

I wondered which of my posts you were referring to since the last 2 replies you gave seemed detached from most of my posts. Thanks for sharing that. It’s good. :wink:


#89

Are you using Elixir from sublimstes club?


#90

@friday I am not.


#91

Total Breakdown Day 35 - Back to mainly running TB and running EmperorQ once or twice a day for now. I have noticed some of the effects I got and enjoyed from listening to TB weren’t quite as obvious the last couple of days especially yesterday so I am going back to focusing mostly on that audio for now while not completely eliminating EmperorQ. It’s a bit weird that a program meant to help someone be more social helped me not seek out unnecessary or irrelevant behavior but made me crave silence


#93

Total Breakdown Day 36 - Played the Ultrasonic on my phone last night while I slept. I was reading the description for each stage of Khan and what the goal for each is and I was thinking that with Stage Two my goal is to become what is considered a man’s man. Just be 100% comfortable being myself


#94

Back to listening to Total Breakdown after taking almost a week off. The past couple of weeks has been just a mind fuck for me and an even more obvious sign I have a lot of shit to work through. I was debating running TB in a stack with Regeneration but Regeneration for some reason triggers major anxiety in me.


#95

Total Breakdown Day 42 - Between Running Regeneration and now TB my shift in values and priorities is becoming way more obvious. I used to be really frustrated when I was working lots of hours daily and weekly to support my wife and myself. Now I see it as almost a necessary sacrifice for us to feel our best and to not have endless amounts of anxiety over whatever. I don’t need a lot other than knowing the people I care about and love are ok. I’m a minimalist. Posessions and material items aren’t important to me


#96

Are you still running EmperorQ with TB?


#97

@King Not at this time


#98

Total Breakdown Day 43 - I haven’t had much going on the last few days so I have been running Total Breakdown as much as possible even when I sleep. It’s definitely helping that I’m getting far more exposure than previously. Right now my biggest obstacle is learning to let go of things . For someone unknown reason my subconscious is determined to hold on to things that no longer serve me and I feel that as I continue to run and listen to Total Breakdown that those things will be removed.


#99

Total Breakdown Day 46 - I decided last night that as soon as I can I am purchasing Ecstasy of Gold. My financial situation or lack of has always been my biggest source of stress and anxiety. I’m very seriously considering dropping TB right now and just running Mogul V2 until I can purchase is EOG. I know on a subconscious level that unless I have my financial situation handled I will always be anxious to a degree


#100

Wouldn’t be surprised if Total Breakdown hadn’t been what facilitated this insight.


#102

@Malkuth Sticking with Total Breakdown for a while . I desperately need to grow the fuck up. Almost 52 and I should not act like I do or be as anxious , nervous, or afraid as I am most of the time. For fucks sake what do I have to be afraid of? Seriously?


#103

Total Breakdown Day 47 - This morning I decided to begin a new stack . Sanguine, Regeneration , and Total Breakdown. I plan on running this stack indefinitely as well as start therapy/counseling when I am able to.


#104

That’s strong. :muscle:


#105

@Malkuth Thank you. I’m committed and determined to change the course of my life no matter how hard it is or how long it takes.


#106

The definition of wisdom is focusing on what you control, letting go of what you can’t control, and recognizing the difference - Mark Manson


#107

Total Breakdown Day 48 - Back to running TB by itself. No stack. Feels better that way. Needs far more time to get done what it needs to do.