Yes, the same one.
Ok. Reason I’m asking is:
I kinda wonder if the regen and any other subs you and her used (I seem to remember Sex Mastery sub being in the mix too) may just mean the breakup is the next logical step in your and her individual evolutions.
I’ve been married 26 years thus far. I’ve largely been a pushover in many respects with the wife.
I fully acknowledge that anything is in the realm of possibility with our relationship, wherein she might leave me if I allow my changes to be “too much” from my use of subs.
Mainly though, I have goals of building an empire, and I’m not 100% sure she’s on board with all my goals. I asked myself semi-recently as a thought exercise: “What if it comes down to where she tells me ‘it’s either me or your so-called business goals?’”
And the thought I arrived at is that if she ever did tell me that, my response would be to help her pack her shit. Not to say anything bad about her…but it a relationship gets to that point, I’d say it isn’t worth preserving, and is best to let the other party go find their own hap-penis.
Sorry for the wall of text there. In reading about your recent experiences with the gf, it got me thinking more and more about my own experiences and desires.
It seems that way… I dont know how to comunicate with her and frankly shes not opened to certain subjects which are important for me… I dont want to push her but I dont want to ignore what I need either.
I feel the same way… btw lol about the hap-penis
Nothing to be sorry about man, its conforting to read about your experience.
She left home for work a couple of minutes ago, before leaving she complaint about me not caring about her and not helping her, etc.
I said theres only 1 thing that we need to talk about because I agree with what you said last night. She said Im too proud, I argue that I was not going to tolerate her threatening and making fun of me, I told her that she is free to think what she wants about me. She insisted that Im too sensitive, the usual crap she gives to not assume any responsability for her actions, blame it all on me and minimize every complaint that I have as me being too sensitive or other shit.
She finally told me we need to talk about how are we splitting things and if I want to keep the appartment for myself. I said not now, my mind is not clear yet about the best way to do that.
She tried to guilt me out of it, but I just remember her what she said and agreed with her.
My intuition tells me shes is going to try to play victim and when that doesnt work, shes gonna try to use sex. In all honesty my attraction towards her has been declining a lot in the last month (or maybe even more), after the last couple of nights (specially last night) I feel 0 attraction towards her. Anyway theres a long road ahead and I need to focus in whats important… my health/wellbeing and keep myself unsuceptible to manipulation.
My new custom will arrive at the perfect time for that, with Khan st4, Manipulus, Iron Frame, Dominion, Love Without Attachement and The Flow, Im covered. Its like I unconsciously created that sub for this very moment.
Well… we talked today… she said shes sorry and that she said that she wants to end the relationship just because she was mad, that she didnt really ment it, which I find even worst. To be honest thats what I expected her to say, so I insisted that she takes responsability for her actions/words.
I told her that the last time she threw a tantrum and threatend with breaking up, I forgave her and she promised that it was the last time shes doing something like that. I told her at the time it was the last time Im accepting that kind of behaviour. So now that she did it again I have to put my foot down and give myself the respect I deserve.
Im too old to be in a relationship like this one, I rather be alone than being manipulated and threatened.
I explained to her how I feel in the most calmed and simplest way possible, to make sure she understand whats happening and she did.
Now she is trying to appeal to the good times we had together.
This inner calm I have its the sign that Im doing the right thing for me, even if its not easy.
Im going for what I believe its right and Im not stopping. Im making my best effort to deal with this situation as maturely as possible.
On a completely different subject Ive been playing a lot of guitar, practicing my scales, shapes and picking techniques.
Limitless is making such a deep change!! Im learning faster, improving my memory (visual/kinestetic) and polishing details really fast.
Also Ive noticed how Im able to put the pieces together faster and comprehend the bigger picture… In such a short time span my understanding of music has been transformed.
Props, brother. I know it isn’t easy at all.
I came to a realization today about my own stuff. My wife and I have only been with each other. She’s the 2nd girlfriend I had, and I don’t count the first one since I was 15 and she was 13.
Long story short, I realized this morning when half-awake in bed (after listening to Libertine Supercharger+KhanQ3+LibertineU V1) that she basically doesn’t have any “social proof” as to my “marketability” as a man.
I think I’m “low value” in her eyes from that regard. Maybe not low-value enough where she’s leaving or anything…but more like my tank is only 1/8 full lol.
After conferring with a friend, I think I’ll be running Stark and AscMogul to work on increasing my value as a man. BILLionaire custom has AscMogul along with EoG1/EoG4 as is, so I may just run that along with Stark for 30 days and see how that goes.
Wow, thats something you dont see often in these times, it surely requieres a lot of commitment and work.
I get that, working on my perception of self value has been a beautiful path, sometimes hard… sometimes really enjoyable, but wouldnt change it, not 1 bit. Stark is a great tool for that and you have plenty other hypnotic tools to heal and release whatever comes your way. David Snyder stuff is great in that area of development.
Have you tested Stark Terminus? Worked pretty well for me.
I’ve done both Terminus and Q maybe once or twice each…not enough to gauge a difference.
I figure I’ll do a week of BILLionaire+StarkQ and then a week of BILLionaire+StarkQT and see if it changes much for me.
Ive slept in the couch the last 2 nights, this morning she asked me to go back to bed, I told her to please leave me alone and she left.
We have a 2nd room with a bed, it was all messed up with her work stuff, but she cleaned it. Today I move to the other room.
I dont know yet if I want to stay here and ask her to move out or if I want to find a new place, she already told me she cant afford this place by herself. Its not that I dont want to stay here for emotional reasons, its because it isnt as quiet as I thought when we decided to rent and as I grow older I value silence more and more. Cant be bothered by the neighbours shitty music or their partys.
I should recieve my new custom today or tomorrow, l hope its today, Im really motivated to start using it, its the mark of a new era.
I realized today that Im getting a double dose of Lion IV, Total Nonchalance, Rogue and The Architect, the new custom will fix that. Not that Im complaining though, it seems to be giving me extra coolness to deal with this tough time.
Almost 3 years ago we had a big fight with the girl Im currently sharing appartment with (ex girlfriend from now on), that fight led to a break up and to what was possibly one of the worst times in my life, 3 months of stress, angst, anger, fights, etc, because we continued to live together and I wasnt strong enough to make my limits clear and enforce them, and I made lots of mistakes, gave confusing signals to her and contributed a whole lot to make things worst. In full honesty, yes I was manipulative and took andvantage of the situation too.
The thing is that period ended with us getting back together and me sick, both with gastritis and an arthritis crisis. That lead me to search for healing and one of many things I discovered was Subclub, specially my old friend Regeneration.
It took me a year to heal and gain lots of maturity, awareness, experience and self value. The reason I say this is because this time Im determined to live my life the way I deserve it.
No more toxic relationships, for now on Im taking time to myself.
That seems like a plan, Im gonna keep using my 2 customs and Limitless till Im well stablished in a home by myself, whether is this appartment or another.
Then Im going full on exclusively on Dragon Reborn.
Im not interested in jumping into another relationship and Im not the kind of guy that enjoys clubbing or whatever guys do to get casual sex.
I rather be by myself, if I meet a woman along the road thats beautiful, smart, fun and resolved enough in her life and we click, then Im ok with it. Wheter it is to have a sexy friendship or to stablish a relationship, thats something that I will evaluate when the time comes.
Not having sex for a long period of time is not something Im scared about, the fact is that when Im not having it I begin to forget about it.
My attitude is to deal with stuff (emotions/situations) as soon as they are presented, or should I say as son as Im aware of them.
Yesterday I took the time to release as much as I could the feelings that I was going through. First it was blame, I was blaming her for so many things, as I dealt with that I began feeling guilty, for putting her through pain. Cleared all the situations and got rid of the emotions.
Whats curious is that in both cases as soon as I released the emotion, it was like a switch went off, I went 100% unconscious for like 10 or 15 minutes and then came back online with no recolection of what happened during that period of time, but feeling real good.
Cleaning myself up from those feelings is essential for me, because when you blame somebody for what you feel/think, you become powerless and its really easy to become manipulative. When you feel guilty you too become powerless, but you are really susceptible to being manipulated.
What kind of music do you play on the guitar?
I love rock, funk, blues amd some types of metal, for now theres not much music playing (except from some licks and ideas that flows naturally), mostly Im doing what I never did back in the old days when I wanted to be a rock star lol, playing scales, learning some theory, practicing my picking technique, so its efficient, those type of things.
My goal is to have fun learning and to be able to record some melodic instrumetal rock/metal. Im very inspired by Guthrie Govan and Marty Friedman, of course I dont pretend to emulate their style, except for their dedication and love for the instrument and music.
Cool!! I just recieved my new custom!! Going for loop 1 right now.
The new version of Prometheus feels awesome, like a balm to the soul.
Im on my 2nd loop at the moment.