Q customs for (Home) (Workout Area) (Work)


I am not sure what it is a by-product of but with women I have been feeling such strong feelings of gentleness and protectiveness towards them. It is like some archetypal energy kicking in.

I am sure many women would love this energy, but there also seems to be something incomplete to it. I am really seeing them as beings to send a kind of unconditional love to, to feel protective of, but it doesn’t leave much space for their complexity, individuality and independence.

It seems to be mostly about a love for a passive receptive femininity.

But I have a strong desire to express these feelings toward women I feel an attraction for, and I am unable to express them right now in a physical way, due to circumstances.


So i have been listening to RebirthU with a strong desire/intent to create a rupture or break in calcified habits, points of view and nd behaviours.

To break a stasis I have been feeling for quite a while.


I can feel something breaking and maybe reforming and shifting in my psyche.

Hard to say exactly how, or what, or why, though.


Running [email protected] 1 pm


Running [email protected]:15 pm


Running [email protected]:45 pm. From computer and Sennheisers.


I have had a breakthrough in putting together new subs using a fundamental concept of basic needs and healing for the modules and then using major sub modules as the channels of their manifestation.


Running [email protected]:40 pm.


Running [email protected] 10pm.


Ordered the following custom last night to play in my work office in ultrasonic.

Primal Seduction
Ultimate Artist

Debt Annihilator
Productivity Unleashed

Lion IV
Ego Adsum

Blue Skies
I Am
New Beginnings


I also ordered a fitness/mental toughness/survivability/healing conceptual mix.

Survival Instinct
Emperor Fitness ST4

Debt Annihilator
Productivity Unleashed

Lion IV
Ego Adsum

Blue Skies
I Am
New Beginnings


Running Rebirth a second time through tonight. 11:11


Feeling what I would call a sense of loss, but not necessarily negative, but of something being drained or emptied, but also not necessarily positive either.

I don’t think I ever feel any shift that isn’t a bit difficult to fully grok and which doesn’t feel like there is something dark or shadowy about it.

It is like shifts have complex layers and colors that are a bit muddied.


Coronavirus has left me mostly disconnected from people and their has been an extremely small set of human beings that I have interacted with in person since mid March.


The last thing that seems to be developing is any sort of clarity.


A rebirth into grayness.


Waking up with some insights into a pertinent issue. I’d like a rebirth that would be like a Phoenix rising from the ashes but that kind of shift is probabky too much to ask.

Trying to understand what sort of Rebirth is possible. Would like to walk back into places and have people not even know me. “Who the fuck is this dude ?!?;” But very positive.


Have also been listening a few times to Sphinx of Imaginatiin this past week.


Rebirth @ 8 am


[email protected] 3:45