[SOLO] Tarmicle's Journey with The Incredible Experimental EmperorQ


#21

Thanks @SaintSovereign! Well, all I’m doing is sharing what’s happening to me during the day, as well as my thoughts and feelings :slight_smile:


#22

Day 7
Loops: 6
Versions: Ultrasonic only

Dominance, Fear and Tears


Personal Relationships

Last night, something sad happened.

Every time I get home, my wife jumps into my arms. I love it. It’s the best moment in my entire day. Last night, was no exception.

So I get home, my wife hugs me and kisses me. I have to workout, but I’m tired. The night before I hadn’t much sleep. I decide to skip my day, so I can stay with my wife a bit more.

The night goes beautifully. We laugh. We’re having a great time together.

At one moment, however, things take a bad turn. We talk about something we hear at the TV. We share opinions. We confront. The conversation heats up. We argue. We fight for the dumbest thing in the world. She’s angry.

I approach her. I had a couple of glass of wine.

She says: “leave me alone!” and goes away from me. I take her arm. I’m in the heat of the moment and I’m not thinking straight. But one thing I know.

All I want in this moment is to DOMINATE her.

I grab both of her arms. My grip is so tight that she can barely move. She punches me on my chest. She’s screaming. “I’m gonna kick you in your balls”, she says and so she does.

But I don’t move. I let her go. She goes in the corner. She cries. “You hurt me”, she says in tears.

I come back to myself. I say: “I’m sorry… I’m so sorry… I just wanted to calm you down. I wanted you to feel my strength so you’d calm down”. “All you did was scare me”.

At firsts, I didn’t want to tell you this. I’m so embarrassed. I feel shame for myself for what happened. But in the end I decided I’d write about this because there’s one thing I must share with you.

Which is that EmperorQ is very powerful. And with power comes responsibility, like Uncle Ben used to say.

Understand: I am NOT saying that EmperorQ will make you want to beat women. It didn’t in my case. Yet, I felt the need to dominate very clearly. So happens that I was a little drunk and my conscious mind couldn’t see the difference between positive dominance and aggressive dominance. The line was a little blurred.

I’m not sure but, I think EmperorQ is neutral. It doesn’t know what is good, and what is bad.

YOU have to know that.

Sometimes this isn’t easy. But imagine what you could do knowing that you have this power already within you. All you need to do is set a direction, a good one, unleash it and see reality bending before you.

I shall learn from this experience and use it to enhance my awareness.

By the way, me and my wife we made peace. Usually, she would still be angry now. I don’t know. Today she’s been as loving as she can be. We’re having fun as usual. I’m not completely excluding that she liked that dominance, a little bit.


Career

  • Today I studied for my upcoming exam. I’ve found no problem concentrating and had a productive morning. No work today so I don’t have much news in this regard. I’ll get back to the office on Monday.

  • I think my spending habits are improving. This morning I made a saving plan for the year.


Social

  • This morning we went shopping, my wife and I. I am definitely more confident around people I don’t know, now.

  • Swagger walk! :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

  • Extreme eye contact. I have a feeling people are almost intimidated by my look?

  • I slept very well this night. I don’t sleep more, but I sleep more deeply.

  • Except a dream about my CEO a few days go, I haven’t had any dreams in the last couple of days. That’s a pity, I’d really like to remember them.

We’ll see what tomorrow brings.


#23

Thank you so much for sharing this. This forum should be a safe place where you can express all your feelings, results and also concerns without any judgements.

There are no relationships without fights. You should not be ashamed of what happened. You did not beat your wife and it sounds like you actually are really in love with her.

I admire that you expressed yourself, made sure there is no miscommunication by sharing your thoughts and by being vulnerable. That’s a great quality to have. Be proud of that. Also, you seemed to calm your wife down with that openness leading to her expressing her thoughts. That’s some genuine communication between you two.

Yes, EmperorQ is very powerful, it makes you question yourself, your actions and at the same time, it tells you the boldest powerful guy on this planet. This is an emotionally irritable cocktail which can easily lead to such events. While the newer version has support scripting that makes you experience less reconciliation, reconciliation is still happening even if it is subtle. On my first day of listening to EmperorQ, I had a major fight. I ended up shouting and at the end crying like a baby. EmperorQ is no easy subliminal to run, we cannot forget that.


#24

Beautiful action taking and very detailed journal, great job man!


#25

Thank you for being honest and sharing that. It’s helpful to see both sides of the subliminal


#26

For this very reason I’m so grateful of being here, sharing my journey with you guys and also learning from your experiences. :slight_smile:

Thank you for your kind words and understanding. :slight_smile:

Yes, absolutely.

Thank you for sharing that. It seems that EmperorQ made a powerful impact on your emotions as well. I’d love to hear more about it, if you’re comfortable with sharing it.

Thank you @Flake_And_Milk I appreciate it :slight_smile:

Thank you @ALoveSupreme. I agree. That originally the reason why in the end I decided to share the story with you, :slight_smile:


#27

I posted it in my journal but wasn’t so detailed as you.


#28

Oh, sure. I remember I read about it in your journal. I didn’t remember that was the same event, which happened on the fist day. :slight_smile:

I’m glad everything is ok now. :slight_smile: It happens to me as well. I believe that we react emotionally to events that matters greatly to us. The fact that you opened yourself to her and you were honest only shows your maturity, your courage and that you love her very much. Also you expressed your reasons clearly, which is also a great sign of how much you value yourself and that you’re shaping your reality.


#29

Thank you :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:


#30

Day 8
Loops: 9 (also run while sleeping)
Versions: Ultrasonic only

Serenity, Power Games and Cookies


Personal Relationships

  • Today I did something unexpected of me. I made cookies! Now, I won’t lie to you, I’m not that good at cooking. I’d call my cooking skills “essentials”, and that’s a compliment! Still, it was fun and I had a good laugh with my wife with all that flower and chocolate.

  • I spent the whole afternoon with my wife and our dog. We had a walk and watch a TV shows. Usually, I’d feel a generalized sense of personal power. Today, I had the opposite feelings. I felt warmth, bond and serenity.

  • This morning I woke up feeling very well rested. I used to sleep a bit more and yet felt sleepy. Today, my stress levels are really low and I feel alert, yet calm.


Career

  • Today wasn’t work day. Still, I worked the entire morning here at home. There was something I had to do at the office but forgot, so I did it today. Normally I would just wait until tomorrow and do it at the office. This time I decided to do it anyway, even if it wasn’t a work day. On Friday I used the time at the office to do some personal work. At home today I did work I’m supposed to do at the office. Could it be that I just manifested my confidence to catch up with work? I had some issues with some tools; normally I’d feel irritated by it. This time, all I felt was focus, flow, no emotions. Very interesting. I wonder how cool it would be, if my work days and my days off would make no difference. Being at work wouldn’t be so frustrating because I could carry on other projects during dead times, and being at home could ignite inspiration for meaningful work. Interesting!

  • Overall, I feel a subtle sense of possibility and discovery. I love this feeling!

  • I’d love to make a speech! I feel the need to lead and inspire people and this feeling is getting stronger and stronger as the days pass.

  • Interestingly, I’m inspired by stories of sacrifice, war and honor. I’ve found myself surfing online in the last couple of days, looking for war stories, diplomacy, strategy both at court and in the battlefield, and so on. Especially from the Roman Empire. Can’t tell you why. I’m more attracted to intrigues, social ability as well as pure violence. I seek info about it and also in entertainment (I started watching shows like The Last Kingdom , Vikings and Rome). Now that I think about this, I think I just realized I’m very much attracted to POWER.

We’ll see what tomorrow brings.


#31

Wow @Tarmicle… thank you very much for your journal entries, very detailed, raw and unfiltered. EmperorQ looks like an absolute beast of a subliminal.


#32

Thanks @Michel! To be honest, all I’m doing is describe my day :slight_smile: Your journal on the other hand, is extremely insightful. I love to read your entries :slight_smile:


#33

Day 9
Loops: 6
Versions: Ultrasonic only

Creativity, Books I Don’t Need and MEH People


Career

  • Today I helped the same colleague with her stuff with LinkedIn. As I mentioned in a previous entry, I don’t like her attitude towards work. She’s sloppy and superficial. Today, I was trying to help her, but was being lazy. She wanted me to do it. I refused. And when she started complaining about how difficult it was, no matter my directions, I walked away and told her that I’d help her again, when she’d stop behaving like that.

  • I felt a little woozy at work. I felt like my brain was locked in a tight box. For a period, I’ve been extremely focused and I literally couldn’t do anything except taking care of the task at hand. I had to close the loop before moving on.

  • I dream about being a great problem solver. I love watching managers and leaders use their creative thinking to create new paths and opportunities. Unfortunately, I wasn’t born with this talent. I’ve always been very structured in my thought process. Very linear. This sometimes can be a good thing. It makes me efficient and reliable. However, sometimes it hinders my ability to find new possibilities. I’ve been running EmperorQ for a few days now and I’m already noticing great improvements on my creativity and lateral thinking has improved.

  • Since I’ve been listening to EmperorQ I started developing a great desire to lead. It’s been only a couple of months since I’ve been working here and my days as a manager are still far away. Still, I bought two books on management and a book about public speaking. “The Five Dysfunctions of a Team”, “The 21 Irrefutable Law of Leadership” and “Resonate”. I just can’t help but feel this is my destiny.

  • I always wanted to be able to “enjoy the process”, like they said. I’ve never been able to. Since I was a kid, I was always worried about the end result. My eyes were always on the prize. Worrying, fretting. “I want to get there, I need to get there”. That attitude didn’t help me as much as I’d love to, in achieving my goals. Still, it has always been my default attitude. Interestingly now, I don’t seem too much worried about the outcome of my actions/work. I somehow “presume” it will turn out just right. I’m still very much intense about my goals and I feel VERY bad when I feel I’m not progressing towards them. Understand: I feel bad when I’m not doing actions which I believe are helping me making progress, NOT when I don’t SEE improvements. Overall, I’m more focused on the approach, the process, the step ahead.


Social

  • Very low engagement with my colleague at work today. I just didn’t feel like it. They seem distant, sometimes and not really interesting.

We’ll see what tomorrow brings.


#34

Day 9
Loops: 5
Versions: Ultrasonic only

Coronavirus, Quarantine and Secret Agendas


Career

  • Today, our CEO decided that the whole team would carry on the activities from home, through smartworking. As you may know Covid-19 is spreading all over the world. As a result of recent events, our Government adopted a radical measure according to which every citizen must remain at home, to avoid the virus to spread. Our CEO decided that we could keep working from home. I feel relieved. I imagine my days being more productive. In fact, today has been a very productive day.

  • Yesterday at the office I got called in the CEO office, because I took an initiative that I should have shared with my peers first. She lectured me how much communication is vital, that I had put the image of the company at risk. That’s a turning point for me. I still think I made the right decision, but this is Emperor working. I bypassed the others because, well, I thought it’s not their concern as it’s my expertise, but got a slap on the wrist. I must be careful. Interestingly, I was torn before taking that initiative. A part of me knew that my solo undertaking would collide with the team, still I took the action accepting the consequences. To be honest, I don’t feel bad for what I did. I still think that was the right thing to do. I think I’m not exaggerating if I say that my insecurities are totally gone.


Social

  • Breaking news. Apparently, the fun guy stopped making fun of me. The reverse is now true. I mock him whenever I can. Before, I wouldn’t have dared. “What if I hurt his feelings?” Now I don’t care. I enjoy playing with him. I feel like he stopped so I’d eventually stop. It feels so good.

  • Now that I think about it, my social anxiety is completely faded. That’s amazing, if we consider that 10 days ago I couldn’t even stand around people without feel great discomfort. I now feel dominant. Actually, I feel like people secretly want to be like me! I know it’s crazy to think that and being so full of oneself, but what can I say, I’m being 100% honest :smile: I feel a secret admiration from colleagues.

  • When I’m out, shopping or walking down the street, I feel stares of random people on me. Normally, I’d feel anxious about it, now I like it.

  • I’m totally OK calling out people about their agenda. I can feel their embarrassment when I do. I’m not sure if someone ever did that to them. I love it.

  • Being strategic, about life, about relationships, about work is one of the most dominant feeling I get and the one that’s most persistent during my day.

  • I’m being more ruthless with superficial relationships (like my colleagues). I think I’m starting to get a sense of their agenda and their subtle social moves. I think EmperorQ is making me aware of this and instructing me to take advantage of them, and introducing me to the art of courtiership. Does it make sense?

We’ll see what tomorrow brings.


#35

Day 10
Loops: 8
Versions: Ultrasonic only

A Band of Brothers, through Humiliation and Identity Crisis


Career

  • So today, I’ve been humiliated by the whole team. Let me explain. I’m working on our marketing project for one division of the business. The CEO thought that’d be a good idea to ask EVERYBODY for feedback. Did you ever find a boss who asked workers about his engineer’s work? What a fuck is wrong with her? Of course, the whole team made stupid comments based on freaking OPINIONS. I explained my decisions, trying to be as candid as possible. Yet, I felt like I was the center of a lapidation. Is it how a leader is supposed to behave? I’m building resentment. Before, I’d just freak out. Today however I was strangely calm. I mean, I was dying inside, yet I think I didn’t show it, or at least not as much as I’d usually do. I’m torn between been honest with myself, with my values, with my consideration of me, and the necessity to play along, to be smart about it and play the “social game”. I have a feeling that the rest of the world is not strong or smart enough to handle what it takes.

  • I’m more detached with what I do now. I’m more aware, less worried about my ego and more focused on my objectives. This I noticed was particularly true if you take in consideration my reaction towards the “feedback” from the team. It’s still a transition, though. And it hurts. We’ll see.

  • I felt reconciliation today. It has been the first day I felt a hint of negative self talk creeping in. As I said I’m feeling torn about my behaviour, I don’t know what attitude is the old me, and what is the new me.


Personal Relationships

  • My wife has been very supportive.

  • I slept very well tonight. I felt very well rested this morning. Definitely one of the best quality sleep I had in the last couple of months.

  • What a great workout I had today! I truly pushed myself and made a new personal record. I gave all I got.


Social

  • I want HONOR. It’s hard to explain, but I truly want to join a team of fellow man and do something great, like being in a football team or in the army. I want blood, I want to join a gang and be a part of a brotherhood. I think I need to join some club or something.

We’ll see what tomorrow brings.


#36

Day 11
Loops: 5
Versions: Ultrasonic only

Porn, Courtship and We Are Back in The Biz


Career

  • This morning I had a strategic call with the CEO. This time, her tone was waaaay down. I noticed that’s been the case recently. That people, especially at work, address to me differently, if it’s just the two of us. I’m not sure though. It might just be I’m biased due to recent events. All said, I getting more and more socially skilled as the days pass. I feel my temperament is cooler and, I’m handling social interactions better, in stressful situations—for me, that is.

  • Today I had my greatest manifestation so far. Let me explain. I ran a consulting business before being an employee. I ran the business with my wife. Eventually, things went south and the business was no longer sustainable. In short, we failed. My wife never really accepted this. She took it as a personal failure. We always feel bad when we talk about it. Today however an idea, manifested to me. I woke up with an incredible realization. Which is that we’re living just a transition. That we will, in the future, run another venture together. We will probably fail, multiple times, but I believe a business together is our destiny. And this work here, although I do appreciate it and I do want to move up the ladder (because I’m ambitious), it is not a SIGN that we failed. Rather, an OPPORTUNITY to play with business ideas, while still being able to live decently. It’s an enabler to do something great. It’s just the way it is. I can’t explain how much happy I am now! I was so excited I told my wife about this. I was surprised when she lit up. Se was inspired by the idea. I’ve never been able to make her see our failure as a good thing. I actually inspired her and I could see it in her eyes. What a great power to have! Is it that EmperorQ is suggesting me that I can inspire people and convince them to embrace my vision of the future? I think it just did!


Personal Relationships

  • As a result, my wife and I worked together on the marketing project my CEO assigned to me! It was so good. Just like the old days. I guess this is proof that it worked! Of course, being able to count on her help meant an exponential increase in productivity. I can’t help but think EmperorQ helped me with this. This kind of results it’s just too far from what I usually experience. I’m so curious to know what suggestions did this!

  • After a period of apparent calm, my libido exploded all at once this evening! I had to watch some porn to release it a bit.


Social

  • Speaking of performance under stressful conditions. I believe my ability to control my emotions has improved. Even when somebody strikes a nerve. It happens to me more often than usual, to mentally disengage, let go of the emotion and analyze the situation: “Ok, this happened, I feel bad about this, but remember that your goal is this, so act accordingly”. Some people are able to behave like this spontaneously. Unfortunately, I was never been able to do it, at least so often as now. To be, this is a fundamental improvement and I thank EmperorQ for it.

We’ll see what tomorrow brings.


#37
  • Speaking of performance under stressful conditions. I believe my ability to control my emotions has improved. Even when somebody strikes a nerve. It happens to me more often than usual, to mentally disengage, let go of the emotion and analyze the situation: “Ok, this happened, I feel bad about this, but remember that your goal is this, so act accordingly”. Some people are able to behave like this spontaneously. Unfortunately, I was never been able to do it, at least so often as now. To be, this is a fundamental improvement and I thank EmperorQ for it.

Exactly buddy and this is “HUGE”, for me also. To be able to maintain that frame and not get sucked into the emotional turmoil, its a great feeling and I know EmperorQ is at work and helping me.
Excellent journal, so detailed and honest.
All the best on your journey.


#38

Thanks @Morpheus! I appreciated you stopped by :slight_smile:

I’m curious, I’d love to hear your experience about this. Can you share a particular situation when you were able to maintain your coolness in a stressful situation? :slight_smile:


#39

Day 12
Loops: 9
Versions: Ultrasonic only

Growth, Shitty Laptops and My Queen


Personal Relationship

  • Today it’s been a wonderful day. I’m truly bonding with my wife. I don’t know what’s happening in the background, but we feel unite. Not only in love, but also as part of a great vision, a common goal of greatness. I feel we’re more than lovers, but also allies. Today something happened at work that united the two of us, even more. Does it even make sense? I wonder how this is happening? It feels so natural.

Career

  • Unfortunately, as the day passes, I feel more and more alienated at work. I don’t think, however that this is a bad thing. The more I go forward with this, the greater the need I have to purse growth. To evolve. For what I’m doing now, I feel restrain. I love criticism; when it’s objective and rational. It makes me engaged and productive. However, I noticed I despise criticism when it’s at the cost of efficiency and quality of work. Unfortunately, this is what’s happening here. My boss is pushing me. Today she critiziced me for trivial shit. Like I wasn’t supposed to use my iMac at work (doing photography work) but use the shitty company laptop with Windows Vista (are you serious?) and a free version of a lame online photoshop. WTF? Luckly for me, now, since I’ve been running EmperorQ I’m able to control my emotions better. So I can handle this shit at work well. Still, this is the kind of crap that drives me up on a wall and, now more than ever, I feel like I cannot just tolerate it. I simply cannot tolerate things that pushes me back instead of helping me grow.

We’ll see what tomorrow brings.


#40

Day 13
Loops: 3
Versions: Ultrasonic only

Study Less, Painting and Quality Time


Career

  • This morning I studied for my upcoming exam. Overall, my day was productive. I used to feel anxiety for my exams, now I’m confident about. Now that I think about it, my anxiety is gone (exams, social, work, etc.), period.

  • Today a great strategy for studying manifested to me, that will save me a ton of time while studying for the upcoming exams. Overall, I find myself finding ways to maximize my results, while diminishing the effort. I’ve found this is true for work, study and general problem solving.

  • Today I took the afternoon for myself. I always wanted to get back to painting and so I did. I must confess it has been a while since I last painted a piece. But I was pretty pleased with the results. I was in the zone the whole time and the afternoon passed in a flash. I really enjoyed and I feel happy now. I feel there’s something in EmperorQ that pushes me to towards natural inclinations and I feel a general sense of accomplishment, satisfaction and contentment.


Personal Relationships

  • I’ve been spending quality time with my wife in the last few days. Our time together didn’t necessarily increased, but I feel it is of better quality–more carefree.

  • I feel like I’m older and wiser :slight_smile:

We’ll see what tomorrow brings.