ST1 - Day 11 - 49h - 2/20/20
Remember how I said it is important to keep an eye on your dreams? Here’s why:
I saw my ex-coach somewhere and I decided to approach and to confront him. Let’s just call him Steve.
If you don’t know what happened, after I quit my job about half a year ago, I knew I wanted to build my own online-business, but I did not know how to start. I was overwhelmed. So I saw a YT who lives very close to where I am, he was the same age like me, he knew his stuff and he made an honest impression. So I decided to do a coaching with him and in that coaching he recommended me to write a book and sell it, which I did. He promised me we’d stay in contact, I’d get his courses for free, we’d meet in real life and have dinner etc etc etc.
Nothing of that happened, he ignored me after a few months. Yep, I was naiive.
Just as I was in this dream when I confronted him. He was very aggressive and kept getting close to me, pushed me around, told me how naiive and stupid I was and that I’d never make it. I didn’t really defend myself, I had a hard time just holding my ground.
It was like I was a little boy and he was the big, bad bully.
He kept making fun of me and laughing and calling me names. I don’t know how but we departed and I did something else. Then, the same thing happened, I confronted him again and this was his reaction. I am actually ashamed of how naiive I was in the dream, I kept telling him stuff like “I thought we’d do business together”, then he’d laugh hysterically about what I said and start to get physical again.
I then left him. I hated him, I wanted to destroy him but I felt so weak, compared to him. Unexperienced, naiive and (I figured this was a very important theme the dream was about) lacking money skills. After I had the argument with him, I lined up in a queue to buy a lotto ticket to get rich as fast as possible. I got closer to the ticket counter and then he appeared behind me again.
He grabbed the back of my jacket as if there was something inside and said maliciously “You must have won the lottery to be able to afford this”.
I knew he was right and left the queue. After that my memory fades but as far as I know, he didn’t appear anymore.
Edit: Just now I noticed what a stark contrast this is compared to the dream I had before. I was on a top of a tank, part of a larger group of soldiers who also drove tanks and we were in a fight. In this dream I was much more confident and aggressive.