It was somewhere along the path of EoG that I just naturally became more tidy. My place is now pretty much always tidy enough to where someone could show up out of the blue and it’s presentable.
This means… there is hope!
ST1 - Day 16 - 84h - 2/26/20 - Post 2
So I started another campaign to acquire the help of a freelancer and continued my studies (will continue later on, will have plenty of time).
What I noticed today is a girl, a friend of mine I have known for years online and who is a few years (haha) older than me, started making sexual hints out of the blue. I am not sure if she was serious, I don’t think so. I don’t even know if I am attracted to her. Probably not. I neither engaged in her comments nor was I passive about them. You could say I played along a bit while still being myself. Very weird experience, but it showed me I have grown in this area a lot. A few years ago I’d get really boyish, avoiding sexual tension and acting innocently.
I feel like this kind of confidence is something I’ll specifically have to take care of once I have achieved my goals with EoG and move on to dating.
This one sentence of Simon really stuck in my head about EoG being about adding wealth to every part of one’s life. I don’t know about it, I thought it is completely focused on wealth, but now that I think of it, HappyHero also mentioned he started working out and eating properly etc.
I appreciate every thought on this
ST1 - Day 17 - 86h - 2/27/20
I had a funny dream. I am in my room and my mother and a friend of hers just enter it without knocking or anything. (No need to say it is annoying) In this room I have posters and pictures on the wall which are different from those I actually have. Meaning there is a picture of a girl from my old school in a sexual pose (I almost died laughing when I woke up). So this image is in the middle of the wall, my mother and her friend get in and I just get infront of the picture to cover it up. They laugh and start teasing me about my posters and I don’t care about it, until I take this picture down because I think it would be “safer”. When I take it down, they actually see it and are shocked.
They say I should be more respectful etc.
Surprisingly, I just laugh wholeheartedly as I take the picture with me and go away.
Before that I remember another dream, again scenes from a battlefield.
Talking about sexual confidence, the girl I told you about yesterday keeps pushing. I still think it is just teasing on a friendship-basis, still I think these are very valuable reference experiences.
I’ll continue the work on my business today. I think what works best with EoG is a good ol’ to-do-list.
But before I’ll go see the dentist and let him kill my teeth. And my wallet.
ST1 - Day 17 - 90h - 2/27/20 - Post 2
Been to the dentist’s. As I got there I saw paramedics and emergency doctors. The waiting room was full and I learned something happened to one of the workers. The medics took her with them to a hospital. Later I learned this worker had symptoms of headaches, then she started hyperventilating, got muscle cramps and finally lost consciousness. She got conscious again when the medics arrived.
I really hope she is well and I specifically hope she is not infected with Corona and I didn’t get infected.
Apart from that… I don’t have much time left. There are 3 frontiers I have to take care of at once, my own business, then these stupid exams and the project and soon I’ll also have to deal with the new job. Couldn’t do much today since I spend hours at the dentist’s and when I got home I went to sleep and I still have a bit of a headache.
ST1 - Day 18 - 90h - 2/28/20
I had a horrible night. Kept waking up and went paranoid because I thought I had symptoms of muscle cramps and shortage of breath. What kept me going was a chant, a slogan, a vow I have created for myself. I remembered how many beautiful things await me in life and that this joke wont stop me.
After that I had a very long, strange dream. I am in an apocalyptic version of this world, after the virus wiped out civilisation (Silly, I know, but Spielberg is writing the script for my dreams, not me)
The full program you know. Urban surviving, storing food and water, staying safe, even gang fights and I think there even were some supernatural themes, like some members of some gangs had special abilities. It really was crazy but it’d also be a really good story for a movie.
The reason why I keep bringing this up is this: This thing is disturbing my business. I can’t devide my focus too much now. There are 10 things I have to do all at the same time and now I also have to take care of a pandemia. I figured out how to deal with yesterday’s incident: If she’s being tested positive, it will be in the news. Since there aren’t any reported positive cases in my area yet, this would get a lot of attention. If she is being tested positive, I’ll get to the hospital for a check up.
You saw all these Wuhan- and Corona-Vlogs lately? Maybe I’ll be one of them. I hope not, there is still a ton of work to do.
And now on to the more bright side of life.
I’ve successfully hired a freelancer I am very satisfied with so far. We’ll see how it goes and hopefully we’ll be profitable. I think the most important thing now is to actually build the business, then write about it for the project. I actually don’t care about the exams and the project. Some of the students who know this teacher already said noone got a better grade from her than 60% for the project and that she is very disrespectful during exams.
I know this to be true because I experience her lousy classes first hand. So why I even bother?
Next Monday my job starts. I’ll meet the founder and his brother. The lack of confidence I experience since dropping Ev4 is a problem here. I don’t want to come across as a little boy. So I will add 1 loop of ev4 until monday, hopefully my confidence levels will have risen until then and I can drop it.
Now let’s get some shit done
So I just called the dentist I visited yesterday and asked what was going on. They said she just had a panic attack and it had nothing to do with a virus.
What a huge relief.
ST1 - Day 18 - 93h - 2/28/20 - Post 2
Couldn’t get anything finished today, will go for another attempt later. I think it is because my room is messy because I moved a few things in order to get clean it.
I noticed something very interesting. Remember this postapocalytpic dream I told you about?
In this dream I used the sink in my bathroom to get as much water as possible before they shut the pipe. I checked multiple times today and everytime I did, there was less water coming out from there. Now it is almost just half of what used to come out.
Guess I’m going completely nuts now huh?
ST1 - Day 19 - 99h - 2/29/20
I have reflected on my Corona-Posts and I hope this will be the last one about this topic.
I just want to take my time to explain to you why I am so paranoid and fixated on the situation when this is a wealth-building-journal.
This whole thing bugs me just as it bugs you because I really wish I could just focus on my business now. The reason why I am so angry about this situation is because the government here is just the pinnacle of incompetence about anything. I doubt they could organize a bbq-party.
This isnt me being harsh, the officials have a long history of failure and incompetency.
And incompetency in a situation like this is deadly. They still didn’t cancel major events where large groups of people from all over the world are expected to gather. They still didn’t strengthened medical staffs, in fact they can’t even control simple hospital germs.
And they still tell us it is a just a flu and a bit of coughing, just wash your hands and you will be fine.
I am sick of it. They said they plan to lock down the city I live in, but I highly doubt they’d manage to do so. Major super markets are already sold out, people don’t even look at what they are grabbing, the just take anything they can get their hands on. I have stored food and water here, I hope it will be enough. A friend of mine told me there are already locked down hospitals and medical staff in protection suits in his city.
And they still don’t take real action, just half-heartedly and the ones who really try to save us are people on the lower end of the power chain. Those who are actually in charge are still asleep.
I suspect they do it on purpose because they think it would cause too much damage on the economy if people stopped going to work or gather for a few weeks.
The city of a relative of mine who lives in a foreign country is under quarantine right now. Everything is sold out. It’s just madness.
And now, with this stuff going around, I have to take more care and put more thought into keeping myself healthy. Because I wont be able to run my business at all if I get sick, then I will have to use 100% of my resources to get healthy again and I don’t want this to happen. My focus is being torn apart because the officials here don’t care if people die, as long as they still go to work and pay taxes. Everyone needs to take care of himself and his family now, sadly.
But I also committed mistakes in dealing with the situation. I should put more focus into manifesting a solution instead of getting carried away with all this. My consciousness is powerful, I should use it wisely and I will from now on.
On to EoG and Limit Destroyer and The Elixir. I can really feel all three of them doing their job. The Elixir really helps me to relax tensed up muscles and letting go of the day. I will implement more meditation in my day. Limit Destroyer seemed to have hit a wall on me, my face started hurting when I listened to it on volume 3/15, so I reduced the volume to 2/15.
All in all it feels like my life, my identity and my world is crumbling apart, in order to be rebuilt.
I don’t know how to describe this feeling accurately other than that I feel like I am losing sense of my personal identity and start to identify more and more as consciousness. I noticed this when I felt I didn’t know what to answer when I questioned my relationship with certain people I know or my stand on a certain topic or situation. It feels like it is blank.
This is familiar and a good sign, I guess. I mean this is what St1 is supposed to do after all. Destroy everything so it can be rebuilt.
I managed to clean my room yesterday, I made huge progress and will finish the rest today. This is my tip for all of you who feel like not working on their business/project. Choose a task that needs to be done, get your favorite music on and just start. It makes a lot of fun once you get started and you still get a lot done, even though it is not in the area you intended to work on. In the end, it brings you further, so if you feel lazy, just do anything that does bring you further in any are just a little bit.
Brother, how long do you plan to continue limit destroyer?
I plan to continue using it throughout my EoG-journey. I feel like it is a very useful tool for any endeavour since most of the times it is not things you lack of holding you back but the limits you have internalized.
I even think about playing it with every subliminal I use from now on. I will think about Rebirth’s role in this but so far, this is the plan.
How are you doing btw?
That’s a good call!
I’ve been running a heavy stack for the past few days. But, I seem to have eased on to it.
Part of the reason is that, I’ve seen the results that i need to, to help me stay motivated for the long game, and I’m not after quick results anymore.
I’m at a point where i don’t count the days/ hours of the stage anymore…just set and forget and do my thing!
Im considering either switching back to the breakdown stage of khan (Which i previously rushed through), or getting limit destroyer myself.
The presence of Covid-19 is going to get in the way of any Subliminal that supports longer term goal setting / life purpose - K2/K4, G2/G4, A1/A4, and Ev4.
Because it obviously disrupts any plans of travel, socializing, which products/services will sell, etc.
EOG pushes me to take on leadership roles, so in the last week, I got everyone who knows me to stock up on supplies, and convinced several doctors in the area to put up prepping and immunity boosting ideas on their notice boards.
I do not have the resources to monetize this situation - with commodities/forex trading, inflation arbitrages, local manufacturing/exports, etc.
So, today I’ve switched to Ev3, and removed G4.
Thoughts now, are more towards building my skills at writing, counseling, et al.
Things that I can do from home/online, and will be useful regardless of the size & impact of the virus.
Hope this helps someone.
hi stack guru @Simon. you have not critiqued me for quite a while now. How have you been?
Self Development Road Map
As usual, the grounded clarity of your thoughts and perspectives is inspiring, and inspires me to make better use of my own resources.
That’s probably the best long-term behaviour, so you can actually integrate it into your life.
The reason why I count hours is because for 1) this is my first multi-stage program and I want to make sure I deal with every stage properly and 2) I am not used to listen to a subliminal for 6 hours and more every day, so I want to make sure I stay on schedule until I have built a solid routine where I don’t have to think about it anymore.
that’s absolutely reasonable! Very soon you will also not feel the need for tracking!
ST1 - Day 22 - 106h - 2/2/20
Having my first day at work today. Will update you as soon as I come back.
ST1 - Day 22 - 106h - 3/2/20 - Post 2
Oof… Where do I start…
First of all… I hate how low my confidence is since I stopped Emperor. The urge to pick up EV4 again or even Ev5 is huge. My confidence today was moving between 2 and 3 out of 10. It really was annoying.
So, I had my first day at work. It was very interesting, since it is a startup we are only 6 and we are casual. I also see this will help me tremendously longterm because these guys know exactly how to build and structure a company and we already figured we are a perfect fit.
So that’s not the problem. I have to put more effort in in the beginning and learn the whole stuff. That’s where the problems begin. This is all simultaneously to my stupid exams and projects and reconciliation. I know I could do much much more, in the beginning of EoG I felt like a rocket. Now I barely get shit done and I am tired most of the time.
For now the priorities are like this:
- The Job
- My business
- Exams & Project
I figured I probably could handle this, if I just did a little bit every damn day. So I’ll start with writing a damn todo-list everyday. Today my design arrived, it looks good. I am very happy with it and I will be able to sell it. Now I’ll contact the influencers and maybe we’ll have our first sale this week!
I am excited.
On to something completely different haha… In my previous journal I talked about a guy my age who is trying to get a sales talk arranged with me to sell me insurances or something of that kind (Oh my…)
I knew back then he is using tricks to meet me because he knows his talk-no-jutsu is stronger than mine. And it is. He is an excellent speaker. Yesterday he sent a message that said he got some info for me regarding law regulations that’d affect me too and would cost me a lot of money, he’d like to meet up with me for a coffee and talk about it…
Yeah sure. Of course he would waste his time just to tell me something he could have just sent me per chat, like an news article or something.
I told him I don’t have time, which is true, and that’s that. I don’t want to also have to deal with potential scammers now. A job, a business, exams and Corona are enough for now.
So now I’ll get myself a dessert and write this to do list and get some shit done for today
ST1 - Day 23 - 112h - 3/3/20
From my dream journal:
“I am in class again. There is my high school teacher. We’re talking about a class trip to some place and everyone is excited. I don’t know why but I hold this huge bunch of money in my hands. Probably 600 bucks or more. Everyone sees it and people start to ask me to lend them money.
“For what?” I ask and one starts to list off the things he wants to buy with it. I notice a mistake in his listing, and tell him I find his reason to lend money weird and I wont do it.
He get’s disappointed, says something like “Fine then, keep it!”, and the class starts to murmur.
I sense they get greedy and I try to hide the money, but it’s too late. My attempt to hide it provoces them even more.
My teacher, who observed everything, starts to agitate the others against me by telling them “He thinks he is too good for us. Money bought him status” etc.
It works, the others are against me, we start an argument and in the end they start attacking me to take the money away from me.”
- Don’t show off money in public
- Find out who your enemy is (The person that benefits from you taking damage) and form alliances with others to take him out immediately if he becomes a threat. (Or I just played too much RISK lately)
Edit: In the past days I also had numerous dreams about war. Often battle scenes, but more and more I have dreams about the war having ended.