[STACKED] Fractal's Journey (StarkQ: Terminus, Ultaimte Artist and DREAMS)


#41

Powerful post buddy and obviously a huge breakthrough for you witiin your subconscious belief system. It seems like your stack is starting to break new ground for you. Keep up the good work as it can only get better. All the best to you on your journey.


#42

Thank you! It was like the floodgates were open and all this wisdom came out of nowhere. I think it was building up in my subconscious from the subliminals and then what I did helped release it all to my conscious mind.


#43

I got a nice amount of work done on my project today and am pretty happy with the results. I find I’m playing it just for fun sometimes, so that’s a really good sign. I have more content added to it, so now I can see a bigger picture of what works well and can start polishing core features again.

I’m feeling pretty good in general. Since my last post, I now know my optimal way to think that resonates with me. Now the next challenge is to maintain that state of thinking all the time. Overtime I believe I’ll slowly integrate it into me naturally. Like I had to write those thoughts down yesterday asap because I was afraid I’d loose them.

I’m going to keep doing that mirror exercise as a constant reminder. Maybe not think the same thing every time though, I’ll let the subconscious be the guide.

When things get back to normal, I’m really curious how I will be in my regular routine. Because I started these subs after the shit hit the fan. So I don’t have a normal routine day to compare this with. Will be interesting!


#44

Interestingly, I had a dream last night that the gym was opening up and today I got a newsletter that it will be open next month. Don’t know if this is a future prediction, because there’s been talks about it and it has been on my mind. Still I thought it would be good to share. I’m gonna have to get used to getting up early again since I like being there in the morning. I’ve slowly become lazy during the lock down and have been sleeping in later and later.

Was tired this morning probably because I tried playing the nightly round of Stark and UA again. I’ve been skipping on this the past few days because I usually would sleep through the night. I think my limit teeters between 2-3 times a day. Though I might start reducing this so I can wake up easier now.

Productivity wasn’t as good as yesterday. I’m still going to try to do more after this post. I’m sort of at that point in between tasks and undecided on the next thing to tackle, so that slows down progress.

Still feeling pretty good mentally, I think I’m not getting attacked by past memories as much, so that’s very nice.


#45

Not too much interesting things to report today. Still working on my stuff, I’m getting more creative with some of the challenges now that I’ve ran out of the more obvious ones. This caused a spark in some new ideas that are challenging parts of my original design. I’m at a bit of a crossroads now and the direction I’ll go from here will have a tremendous impact on the whole project, and will influence how it makes money too, so it’s not a light decision to make. So I’m thinking it’s time to get some people I know to test it and get some feedback before proceeding farther.

I’m really excited for it though, it’s still on it’s way to become how I originally envisioned it. Some stuff I worked on previously didn’t get to a point like this, like we had to make some compromises to get it made and I always was bothered that it was better in my mind. I guess this comes with experience too, so I can scope the vision to a more do-able degree now.

Another thing I’ll mention is making money on my stuff was never a number one priority. I always just cared about it being the best it can be. I’d also believe that bringing money into it just ruins the creativity. So this line of thinking is new for me, especially while this early in the project.


#46

I’m adjusting my sleep schedule so I was pretty tired today. It’s hard to tell if it’s also from the subliminals or not.

I spent my time researching spiritual stuff and watching tutorials, so not much progress on my project. I always have an itch to learn about more spiritual concepts and eventually that just has to take priority. Doesn’t typically matter if I agree with it either, I just find the topic interesting.

I really feel that Stark push when not getting enough done though. Always thinking, “I can do better” but not in a condemning way. It’s like I just know that I’m not realizing my potential and need to optimize myself to see those results. Usually because of this I try to rush in some work before I go to bed and end up staying up too late, which isn’t too ideal. So that’s something I need to work on, maybe try to schedule my day better or something. Not typically my area of expertise.


#47

Week 8

Can’t believe it’s been 8 weeks already!

Today I realized I operate in stages of learning - acting - reflecting. This is probably a common way most people work. Maybe this is obvious to most people here? What’s interesting is there could be different time spans, stages could overlap and it covers all topics from work to spirituality.

Anyways I’ve been thinking now that I have understanding, how can I take advantage of this? I think the first is just to know what phase I’m in and then think about if I’m spending too much time in that stage and should just “push” to the next one.

One example could be if I’m just reflecting and reflecting for weeks or even months, well that’s like perfecting a project when it is 99% done. I won’t get much mileage from that. On the contrary, I don’t believe just acting without taking time to reflect if my actions worked well and if not, learn better ways to act is beneficial either.

So I’m just going to try to be more consciously aware of what stage I’m in so I can then have more control and identify if time is up for that stage. Early this week I would say I was in a refection stage and now I’m generally more in a learning one.

Yesterday & Today

Yesterday I only listened to one loop of StarkQT, no UA. I was really tired so I chose to limit it. I interestingly has some stranger and gross dreams with similar themes last night.

The first dream, I found a stray cat and saw that it had a bear claw jabbed in the side of it’s stomach. I took it to a vet and the doc was helping it but he was being very rough. After pulling out the claw, he started stretching out the hole, so much that you could see all the insides. I was holding the cat down in the front and it started scratching me. I was freaking out about the whole thing.

I think the cat is my subconscious and the doctor is the subliminals, so my dream is venting that it’s being treated roughly and being teared apart. What’s interesting is many years ago, I woke up from a dream and felt and heard a “dark entity” hovering above me, like a ball of vile energy. It then went in my stomach area and felt disgusting. I also heard all these gross sounds coming within me. The spot it went in is the same spot where the bear claw was in the cat!

I’ve heard that people that focus a lot on the afterlife, spirituality or upper chakras could actually lack in the lower chakras substantially. This holds true to me. Back in those days, I viewed life after death as the real beginning of life. So there was no attachment to this place, causing weak lower chakras. I think I still have work to do in these areas.


The next dream also had a doctor in it. This time I was in a lab with someone who was my girlfriend. I was being injected with some kind of serum that would mutate me and he also got me to eat this chicken meat that was wiggling around like a beating heart. Each time he gave me some bad news or got me to do something, I would give my gf a kiss as if saying goodbye if I don’t make this stage.

I think the doc is again the sublimimal and my subconscious feels like each stage I progress is risky, like I could loose myself as represented in the risk of dying. I have no idea what the chicken meat is for though. I don’t remember that part as much. Maybe it was the final and most risky act?

So it was interesting how symbolic my dreams were last night. Usually I don’t have much symbolic objects in it. I wonder if playing just ultimate artist one day would yield different kind of dreams?


#48

Not too much to talk about today. I made good progress on my project. I started to have some doubts and frustrations at the start but I turned that into ideas and solutions to fix the things that were bothering me about the project.

Still really tired in the afternoons as I adjust my sleep schedule. Tomorrow is the first day back to a semi-regular routine before the lock-down, so maybe after that I’ll be more energetic. I hope things keep improving and don’t get worse from the things going on in the world right now.


#49

Wanted to buy $1000 worth of a risky investment today. So I divided $1000 by the current share cost and guess what the quantity of shares was? 444.44444444444…etc One of my common angel numbers! Needless to say, my doubts lessened substantially and I took the plunge.


#50

The whole market’s currently rising. First time I’m out of a negative balance in 3 months. Good fortune to you.


#51

Thanks, also to you too! I got a bit lucky with this market because I’ve never invested until this crash. I know people that lost a lot though and they’re also back in profits now. It’s sure been a wild ride up though.


#52

I think the market ride is just beginning lol. I heard that the market is supposed to go back down past the lows of march. Which with everything going on wouldn’t surprise me, the market is going up on nothing at all.


#53

That’s certainly possible, but there’s other things to consider too. Like the fed pumping trillions, low interest rates, some people are getting back to work and tech is doing really well in sales. The fed and interest rate situation means the value of the dollar should go down, and stocks should go up against that.

Other possible option is the stocks just stay put at these levels for months and then gold and/or bitcoin rises. But yeah if a second wave comes from the protests then things could get ugly again.


#54

Boy am I feeling sore from my first workout yesterday, really missed that feeling! I was doing home workouts the past couple months with limited equipment, but it just doesn’t top being at the gym. I don’t feel like I lost too much of my strength either so that’s great.

I didn’t feel too different socially yet but some slightly interesting things happened. I was doing dead lifts in the way of some equipment (the gym’s designed poorly so there’s not much places to do them) and someone wanted to use that equipment. I was thinking of a solution where I could move but the social distancing rules don’t give much options. Suddenly he just said, no worries and left. Usually people don’t give in that easily.

Also after taking my number, the employee at the front desk mentioned me by name. I don’t remember her doing that before. Though maybe she’s changed too and does that with everyone now.


#55

It’s because you’re becoming memorable. :wink:


#56

I didn’t think of it that way, that’s really interesting. So on stark I don’t really need to try to “be cool” or make impressions, just being me can be memorable too. I like it!


#57

Was feeling really good today and the best part was that there wasn’t any particular reason to feel this kind of joy. There’s actually a lot bad things going on in the larger world and even some negative things going on with my family. Yet I’m able to feel like this. It’s not like I don’t care or anything either. Just have a feeling that things are going to work out.

Could I be completely wrong? Maybe. But I’d rather live feeling like this and be wrong, than live in fear and be right.

After writing that, I realized how much I’ve grown. Before I used to have a mindset to expect the worst, so you are never disappointed. What a fool I was.


I incorporated Aegis into my stack today. I experienced a slight headache around my left temple 40 mins in. This is likely because all the affirmations are new things to process. The rest of the listening was unintentionally broken up in short segments from interruptions.

I’m thinking of playing this once every second day as the area I live isn’t that dangerous but the general immune boosting and extra energy that @raphael was experiencing in his posts got me interested to give it a whirl.


#58

Excellent choice on the Aegis, @Fractal. One can never be too sure in these times. The extra immunity boost is also a nice thing with or without the virus.

Regarding the “feel good” factor, I must admit that am beginning to feel that too. It has not yet reached full-bliss proportions but I feel pretty relaxed for a person who is facing these times. Just like you. It is possible that that is so since we are both doing StarkQ.


#59

I’ve gotten bursts of this over the years through meditation.

Teachers refer to it as ‘happiness independent of conditions’. It can be pretty trippy when it just comes while at the same time your objective, external situation looks not so great or even terrible.

That’s when you’re just like:

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I think it’s just an effect of harmony or coherence of the bodymindenvironment system. That integration goes up and down, and when it’s a bit stronger, the system just feels good. Things are kind of in synchrony, and sometimes it just takes the conscious mind a little bit longer to get the memo.

Anyway, feels good when it comes. i hope you/we get an entire mountain of it.


#60

I think I already felt the effects of aegis last night. I woke up in the later half of my sleep, feeling hot (not feverish though) but my room temp was normal. This makes me think that the sub raised my body temp either to fight some kind of infection or to increase circulation. I also drank much more water, so some detoxing could have been going on too. Aegis defiantly seems like something to not take lightly!

Yes I for sure think StarkQ is the core of these feelings too. I also believe the thing I did last week at the mirror is what accelerated the “syncing” with it, plus I’ve been on it for over 8 weeks now and I think I heard the real magic starts happening after the second month.