[STACKED] Fractal's Journey (StarkQ: Terminus, Ultaimte Artist and DREAMS)


#81

Week 12

Should I be moving this out of the testing forum and into the regular one now?

I stopped playing sublimnals last Sunday, and was planning on going for a week. I had to cut that break short to just 5 days though.

  • Was feeling a bit directionless and not too motivated. Not listening seemed to have overall detrimental effects on me. I think my mind prefers to be bombarded with things to think about, which may make sense in a way, since I’m always overthinking things.

  • More time focused on day trading than my project by following a trader. Don’t really like doing it this way but I still don’t have confidence in the market atm so day trading ironically seemed safer. Some hits, other misses, nothing that great. The stress it caused me wasn’t worth it so far.

  • I also stopped listening to DREAMS this week and interestingly I only recorded one dream. I know I’m still dreaming, but I was barely remembering them and when I woke up in the middle of the night, I was lazier than before and didn’t bother recording my dreams. So it seems to me that Dreams also has scripting to encourage you to get off your ass and record your dreams at night too.

Friday

  • This was the worst day in a while. Felt awful and wanted to disappear. I had thoughts questioning if this is all for nothing and if I will even be able to improve my life. I couldn’t handle spending anymore time in my negative thoughts that I had to start playing StarkQ:T again while blasting it with Tchaikovsky’s Pathétique. I think my mind prefers to be bombarded by the subliminals so that it has other things to think about instead of my unproductive negativity. Externally, lots of other things were going wrong too, so this would have also impacted my mood.

  • When I was stressing out about everything a thought came in my head that said, “Today’s troubles are tomorrow’s memories.”

  • A positive though: After listening to StarkQ once during the day and then later in the evening, I started to have motivation again to work on my project for a couple hours before the day’s end, so that was interesting.

Saturday

  • I played a loop of SQT in the morning and within a half hour after finishing, it was like my healing progress has reset from the beginning and was having breakdowns with intense feelings of loneliness and failure.

  • Going by these experiences, I don’t think I will take long breaks anymore, it seems detrimental for me for some reason. Or maybe it’s like my mind is reassessing things after being able to process freely this week and it still feels that I am lacking as the scripts are triggered, so it was freaking out. While before it may have gotten used to them and stopped paying as much attention. idk

Today

  • Today was a rest day from subs and am feeling better than the previous days. I’m thinking of trying just StarkQ regular for the rest of this week to see how it affects me differently again. I should have started out with StarkQ on Friday but didn’t think of it at the time. After that I think I should have a clear idea on the build level for my custom Q. So maybe a custom Q for me in a week or two.

  • Also a note on DREAMS, I started up dreams last night and I already was able to record two dreams from just last night. So that really proves it’s effectiveness to me.