[STACKED] The Terminus Meditations


#21

A colleague commented that I was interacting differently in the evaluations that we co-chaired. Not quite sure if his take on it was positive or negative, but either way, it seemed to go with the Stark Q effects on visibility.

I was communicating my feedback and ideas much more actively, directly, and (apparently) somewhat forcefully.

I and that same colleague will meet in two weeks to discuss some ideas and a possible collaboration on a smaller project. However my interaction may have changed, I guess it did not put him off from confirming that we’ll meet for that appointment.

Anyway, not yet sure what my take is/will be on how I’m communicating. I’ll keep paying attention in that area. My intention is to benefit those with whom I interact. If that is happening, then I’ll be cool with whatever changes happen.


#22

Day 17: Monday May 18 2020

12:12 pm. (for the record, I’ve been seeing countless repeating numbers. I just accept it and move on. Sometimes I take photos to remind myself.)

Last night, I simply did not fall asleep. I’m a very light sleeper most of the time. I ended up staying up until 6:00 AM (or was it 7?). and then just doing meditation with Stark Q Terminus. since I was up anyway.

Will try to integrate more physical exercise to facilitate sleeping.

Today’s meditation: normal. Just that due to sleep-deprivation, time stretched. 60 minutes felt about 10 minutes longer.


#23

Day 18: Monday May 19 2020

After the previous night of not sleeping at all, last night was a ‘head hits pillow then it’s morning’ situation.

Meditation 6:30 AM to 7:30 AM

3-Part Breathing and Stark Q Terminus

prior to sitting down on the meditation cushion, I offhandedly glimpsed an e-mail related to college alumni/class reunion sorts of matters. There had been a virtual gathering of people of the same graduating class.

Interestingly, and not surprisingly, I think, thoughts and reflections of the past, of college years, etc., swam through my awareness during the meditation session. Also, whereas yesterday’s meditation session felt 10 or 15 minutes longer than an hour; today’s felt 5 or 10 minutes shorter.

Mood after session: calm, quiet, comfortable. Yet, also, a sense of not wanting to be disturbed. Family member came and began talking to me about matters as I sat. At first, it felt pleasant, then I felt like, ‘enough. quiet now.’. Haha. but that’s me, not just the subliminal.

Now, I prepare to begin another day of working through this hill of tasks that currently need to be completed.


#24

Day 19: Wednesday May 20 2020

Another early meditation. 4:15 AM to 5:15 AM.

3-part Breathing. Stark Q Terminus.

Felt like brainwaves were in the ordinary waking consciousness range of the spectrum throughout most of the meditation. I know though that objective measurement indicates that subjective reports of the depth or quality of meditation sessions often do not match up with what is measured.

Either way, waking consciousness works fine for me. It’s about presence.

Other than that. Just grateful for another day of practice.

10:36 AM. Going to start work tasks now, and also start my daily playlist.


#25

Day 20: Thursday May 21 2020

Just for continuity.

Nothing unusual to report. Going forward, now that I’ve reported about three weeks of practices, I’ll only write if I have something specific to describe.

I’m happy with Stark Q Terminus. It came out of nowhere and just became a centrally important part of my stack. I feel that it’s compensating for and supercharging the other titles in my playlist. And it has impressive range and versatility.

The Terminus strength level seems to be right for me. Maybe because I can be a bit skeptical and/or clueless about how change is happening and Terminus is obvious enough for me to easily notice the effects.

(Oh, just noticed, I’m actually on the playlist loop of Stark Terminus right now. Did the meditation version this morning. This one is the 2nd and final one of the day.)

My overall playlist may be maxed out. There is a lot of overlap between my titles, but there are also a lot of titles. I guess that the potency of Terminus allows it to be the kind of harmonizing flavor of the blend. (It does feel like mixing coffees.)

Stark Ecstasy of Gold Emperor - Those are the central triad. They seem to be playing well together.

Then the supporting figures - Limitless Minds Eye Rebirth Inner Circle

And finally Aegis which is like a wall around the edge of the city keeping everything safe. I don’t necessarily get to Aegis everyday. Sometimes, I play it behind the evening story that I’m listening to with my son. That and Limitless.

It’s fun to think about how each of these characters may be contributing to the blend. But I can do that on my main journal.


#26

Day 21: Friday May 22 2020

Meditation 7:50 AM to 8:50 AM - Stark Q Terminus, Three-Part Breathing

Noticed something interesting.

Memories and thoughts of the past have been arising as I sit in meditation with Stark Q Terminus playing. Once I paid attention to it, I realized it has been happening the whole time more or less. Or at least much of the time.

My mind is going back to key situations or experiences that I associate with problematic parts of my identity. A particular conversation with an ex-girlfriend. The experience of being awkward in a new office where I worked temporarily. A conversation with a friend at a dining hall table 28 years ago.

What tipped me off was when I noticed that at the exact moment that the subliminal ended (signaling the end of the meditation session), the flow of thoughts seemed to fade as well. Like closing a book or coming out of a dream.

so. that’s happening.


#27

Now, about an hour after ending meditation, I just found myself feeling a kind of reverie feeling.

I think reveries just happen to people. I remember drifting into them as a kid quite a bit. And they have come from time to time over the years. I think they have influenced my taste in music and books. Certain artists probably create from that space.

This is currently playing:

It’s like a memory of an atmosphere, or a feeling. Sometimes it feels really wonderful.

Sometimes it’s like remembering just free-floating happiness without any specific situation connected to it. Trying to explain it kind of takes me out of it a bit.

It’s sort of like a gust of psychic wind. On a very comfortable day, of perfect temperature, in a peaceful place, a wind of peaceful but intense emotion/sensation/atmosphere just blows over you for a bit.

and then gradually disperses.


#28

Peace to ‘Kuth—Stark Terminus + Golden Emperor’

I’m renaming this journal

The Terminus Meditations

I’m thinking that I’ll reserve Terminus titles for use as my meditation timers. One day with Stark. The other with Mind’s Eye.

These more powerful Terminus titles seem to fit well with the more focused and open attentional orientation typical of meditation sessions. Also, at 1-hour they are the perfect length for this use.

As for Mind’s Eye in particular, it seems like a match made in heaven to be paired with meditation practice. Maybe I’ll also designate one day per week as a non-Terminus meditation day. That might be a good day to work with superchargers instead or just no program at all sometimes.


#29

First day meditating with Mind’s Eye Q Terminus^2 as meditation timer

slight paraesthesia in left leg close to end of meditation period, nothing too bad.

feeling a bit settled right now. just physically a bit settled. grounded.

one good practice, in my opinion, is to spend a few moments each day imagining the entire cosmos. or trying to do so.

Funny how easy it is to ignore Everything

Things that are too big or too small we just ignore.

I can’t tell what the impact on my mind is at this moment. But I do have a sense of momentum, like swirling. Maybe the stimulus of the subliminal is continuing to have its effect. Likely. It’s been about 30 minutes since the meditation session finished.


#30

Stark Q Terminus Meditation

Interestingly, thoughts went back to the past again as it played. That did not happen with Mind’s Eye Q Terminus^2. (long ass name)


#31

Mind’s Eye Q Terminus^2 Meditation

Another early morning session. Something woke me up at 3:45 AM or so. Ended up meditating from about 5 AM to 6 AM. Then went back to sleep.