Man this is spot on. The thread example made me laugh, but at the same time really put into perspective how badly I hold myself back. As you said, it’s the power thing. I just don’t know why I have so much trouble embracing it. It’s so intangible, so abstract, and I just took it as the truth for years. And it just clings to me.
I’m just glad I’ve encountered other people like you with similar difficulties. I constantly feel as if I’ve done something wrong. I think the reality of it is there’s definitely a combination of traits that make it harder to overcome this stuff. And short of subliminals I’ve yet to find anyone who has a 100% fool proof answer. Which leads me to believe there’s still a lot people overlook when it comes to growth and change in certain individuals and it’s not as linear as one would expect.
It I’m 100% honest I know everyone struggles and it’s not a competition. But that internal friction of wanting to change so bad and do something different with life, but then almost watching like a bystander as your life unfolds in a way you don’t want hurts a lot.