SubliminalGuy's Dragon Reborn Journal


#222

You know I think this is happening to me too. I find when I am asked certain questions, I’m supposed to just give simple answers, but I find myself dwelling and reflecting deeper… hence making my post a litany instead of an actual answer.

We’ll get to other side mate. Healing is good, and then we reap the rewards. :sunglasses:


#223

Reflecting deeper (good words there), I’m reaping some rewards now. Just feeling my heart opening up is a major shift for me. It’s a very good thing.


#224

@subliminalguy
Love your journal!

How would you explain the difference or similarities between Regeneration and The Dragon?


#225

Regeneration:

I feel it tries to get me to look to my past, and like the sales page says, it tries to get you to face your blocks, and if they’re overwhelming, they will gradually weaken. Personally, I feel like I resisted this push regularly, but it doesn’t stop there. Listening long-term is how I’ve seen Regeneration gaining traction. I had it in my custom, and it would resurface old issues I had previously sidelined. Anything we’re constantly faced with we slowly allow into our present reality and thinking, and tears would sometimes surface telling me I was submitting to something I’d previously dodged.

Note: Avoiding anything repeatedly can drain you.

On the plus side for Regeneration, it coupled with 2 things that made my resistance easier. One was the module Limitless Physical Energy, as it would boost my motivation to move to a great degree. I’ve read numerous accounts of people becoming lethargic while using emotional healing subs, but that’s never happened for me, especially using Regeneration. I actually put on Regeneration many times for the energy boost–knowing old stuff was possibly being whittled down as well.

The other is an unnamed module that Fire put in which clearly showed me I was making progress. I journaled when first starting Regeneration, and one morning, I noticed some clothing sitting on top of my dresser. I never wore it, and I felt the urge to throw it away–and I’d never had this thought. I wrote of it, and Saint said Fire put in a module which has me clean up my outside when some inside work is cleaned up too. This still encourages me, for it shows I’ve changed even when I don’t see it or feel it.

Dragon Reborn:

DR does something different, and I’ve still not figured it out. Instead of me facing my deep traumas head on, they come in sideways, and my mind (so far) has not had similar fears of making changes when DR is activating. My mind is awakened to it, but my emotions aren’t held hostage. I actually have some (strange) motivation to pursue broken relationships and fix them since I’m feeling the normal uncomfortableness associated with them. This is the key difference. I’ve made some major relational changes since starting this just over 3 weeks back.

There are many other positive differences with DR. It works on your physical body, with healing being just one benefit. But what I find a powerful gain is how it allows long-held tensions to go away. I’ve lost my regular tightly held gut which meant I’ve often hung on to fear…(to keep safe. Sounds weird). I know other physical tensions exist, and the dissipation of them feels beautiful. I’d never experienced this before.

And lastly (for stage 1), it’s allowing me to be me when I’m around people. I felt it with my sister yesterday–and it’s beautiful when people try to match your authenticity with their own. I actually saw my sister drop her guards; I knew I wasn’t talking to someone with shields up. This response in her made me more comfortable in her presence.

If I could summarize DR right now, I’d confidently say it makes me want to heal.


#226

And this is how you know I’m not making commissions for all those times I encourage people to consider more modules…

I vote no custom for stage 2. But please read my reasons…

First, I’m finding the Q from the main store works well at 2 loops. DR is doing wonders for me! Look at @Brandon and @JCast … and that’s just some of us!

Personally with Emperor Fitness and QL, I ran the regular multistage programs, then chucked stage 4 in a custom.

There is the appeal of a custom and that is running many things simultaneous in that 1 loop. It’s very time effiecent.

Want to create a custom? Of course stage 1 or 2 or 3 of a multistage program is an option. I’m encouraging planning and thought first and foremost.

Create a list of modules you want. Set it aside for a week. Then look at it again. I’m wondering if DR might have changed things for you by then and maybe you will want different things. Plus module pack 3 is coming out. Can you at least wait until that is out? Then maybe make another list and wait a bit more?

Yes, I’m encouraging you to think and plan rather than get another one. I know it’s tempting.


#227

I’m not planning on getting a custom anytime soon @RVconsultant. I was just fleshing out a fantasy.


I’m kind of scared to write. My subconscious did a number on me today, a rest day.
I’m going to write now, sharing what I experienced.

I didn’t leave my place until around 430PM, and all I had to do was laundry. Some old untouched fears were felt rising while going to the laundromat. And I chose not to dodge them using another sub. I felt a part of me was feeling pushed out of his comfort zone, and I broke into tears once when I realized part of me was very scared. I felt it.

One thing (I’m not sure how it’s connected) is a part of me wanted to feel rested and loved around family. I thought of calling my sister–but thought it too weird. My desire was for me to be seen and loved in a family of my own–a wife and child(ren?). A family I pursued. To be honest, this is a very new conscious thought for me, but it feels like I’ve wanted, thought, and planned on it for a while in my subconscious. I think it just came forward today.

After putting my laundry in, I took a good 30 minute walk. It was relieving physically, and I’m much more aware of physical tension in my body, as I felt some. I felt like I’ve grown accustomed to wearing this backpack of emotional baggage, and in my mind’s eye I saw myself wearing it. While viewing this in my mind, I questioned myself to see why I was holding onto this stuff and making it “normal”. I was non-accusing of myself; I wished to explore things I’ve never even considered.

Why do I hold onto this stuff? I realized it’s much more of my identity than anything else. Others have identified me as a baggage wearer, but…DR is consistently, though gently, asking me to take it off. I don’t see myself as an independent person, but rather interdependent. My own perceptions of myself seemed almost completely devoid of self-confidence and self-motivated ambition. I’ve gotten most of my emotional filling by giving something away (time, money, etc.) and people responding. It sounds cold, but I rely on others to fill my cup. A thought came forth: “it’s worked in the past, hasn’t it?”

And what I still feel is DR instructing me to be responsible for myself. I’m slowly feeling the pain of not loving myself, and damn, this has hurt the most today. I’ve wanted to hide from this today, and had I not had laundry to do, I’d have hid on YT, the forum here, or any place where activity didn’t require responsibility.

The pain of avoiding myself is where I’m at. It scares me, but I know I’ve dodged a lot of life’s blessings and challenges by avoiding it. To me, I’m making progress. Owning and healing this is monumental.


#228

Just my 2 cents, but hold your course. I think the reason I’ve had my results is that I keep running only one sub at a time, for long enough of time.

I might upgrade to name embedded DR if it becomes available. Other than that, DR only.


#229

I must be facing some reconciliation today @Hoppa , for in my past experience doing too much, everything and anything suddenly became “shiny”.

Also, what I felt before writing this was FEAR. I’ve been imagining unavoidable pain coming up, and this challenges my “stay in control” mindset.

I am considering taking another rest day tomorrow since I listened to loops yesterday.


#230

I take rest days, maybe once a week. I don’t feel a pressing need for them, but sometimes I kind of feel like having a rest day. I follow my gut feeling regarding the subs.

And I sleep deeper/ better when the sub is running in the background.


#231

Thank you for clarifying. I didn’t understand that.

:+1:


#232

I’m following the recommendations (mostly), for I’m wary of that part of me which wants to sabotage myself by doing it my way–which is oftentimes too much. Sometimes suggestions sound like platitudes–but that’s my own misinterpretation, not their truth.

I’m finding I’ve held to wrong decisions in other parts of life, and making amends to myself requires I listen to the maker’s guidance. Making life more difficult for myself isn’t something I like re-experiencing.


#233

Well, I might break my rule of one sub at a time for long enough time tonight…

I really want to get the Limitless Executive Ultima. There is one huge thing I do want to overcome, that I haven’t already.

I’m f*cking lazy.

Even with the incredible results I’ve been getting I feel like I’m holding back the business at the moment.

For all my life I’ve been an olympic level procrastinator and that’s something I want to fix.

Once I get over that there is nothing else that could stop me.

The problem is that Executive Ultima did not work for me. Was it @JCast who said that after a week it started working for him? I think I’ll have to test it.


#234

I haven’t run Executive in a while and was planning on running it again until I saw the new release


#235

DR St1
Day 26
No loops today

I went ahead and took off from listening today since I listened to loops Saturday.

DR was very active today. I’m not seeing or feeling loads of old stuff. Today I had a lightness and optimism in me. I just felt good.

2 things have come up recently. One is my desire for a woman in my life. I know my subconscious has been active, for I was thinking on one today, and she was like a mix of different women I’ve been attracted to. I felt confident in this, as that fear–that constant self-sabotaging mindset–isn’t active. It’s like I’m encouraging myself to move ahead.

The other, which hasn’t been a major goal of mine, is me feeling more willing to test and get my commercial driver’s license for work. Last week I thought of it, but it was brought up by fear of losing my job, or staying stuck in an undesirable one. I’m honestly motivated since I want to feel good about myself, for I told the female boss a year ago I was going to do it. I’ve just hidden in fear of imagined bad things. Feeling good about myself is rising in importance.

DR did something in my mind today, and I stepped out of a habitual poor mood early on–and saying it again–I felt good. I still do.

I’ll restart loops tomorrow.


#236

My advice on this…

Work on your life, make it interesting. If you enjoy your life and you are happy, you will find someone who wants to take part in it.

Just remember that she (which ever amazing woman you decide to be with) won’t make you complete. You have to complete yourself.

You are the chooser :wink:


#237

Thanks for that @Hoppa. I’m not there yet–I’m setting my own boundaries and standards right now. I’ve never done this. Embarrassing, but true.


#238

Don’t be embarrassed Bro. We all start from different places and move at different speeds. I’m still learning to set boundaries myself. It’s very difficult when the people around you not only don’t respect them but see them as a challenge.


#239

Deadpool stack

Spartan/ Stark/ Primal/ Regeneration Q


#240

DR St1
Day 27
1 loop already. 1 or 2 more later

Thanks @COWolfe. I’m not actively worried about it, (this is weird), but just changing out of what doesn’t work is giving me confidence. I read @Hermit encouraging someone yesterday to get DR to get rid of his self-sabotaging mindset, and damn, self-sabotaging seems to be the only thing I’ve ever done in life. Whether in work, relationships, ambitions, whatever, I always sabotaged myself.

But now, at this moment, I feel good. Sane. Hopeful. Positive. I look forward to today. I do.


#241

Don’t be embarrassed. You’d be surprised at just how many people lack standards and even boundaries. Mostly because they don’t even know who they truly are and never do the work to find out.