SubliminalGuy's Dragon Reborn Journal


#343

Because it’s easier to do nothing and complain about your life than to change it for the better and invest in yourself and take a little action.


#344

It is also simply the case that subs are beyond the scope of most people. This sub in particular is an outstanding example of such.


#345

There’s a lot of that. I think the key for us is to realize that we can’t drag anyone else out of the muck if they’re not willing to climb, and make our own journey. I think I’ve stayed in the quagmire as long as I did because I would have felt guilty about leaving people I cared about there.


#346

This is something me and my partner have recently learnt in dance.
To the point people accuse him and us of things that aren’t true.

We are so passionate and can become so passionate that we want change for other people but unless they want it too we can’t help them.

Such a hard lesson to learn, but a much needed one.

Now that your energy and pretty much your life has changed you’ve made new space for new good energy for your life. The people you’ve left behind will either stay there or notice your change and become more like your current energy, hopefully.


#347

Thanks guys. I was really afraid of returning here this morning, expecting rejection or dismissal. I sincerely thank you.

Listening to a loop of St1 on my phone currently.


#348

:+1::champagne::dragon_face:


#349

You’ll never receive rejection, dismissal or anything like that from us dude. We’re here to support you 100%. Together.


#350

:dragon_face: on!


#351

I think this might be the only place for many of us where we can talk about these things freely.

We all are on a journey of self discovery. We might have different issues, but the direction is still the same.

Most of the world is oblivious to the possibility of totally changing your own life. They are just automatons who follow the programming society has put them in.

The above makes me incredibly sad.

But here we are, together. Dedicated to getting more out of our lives. A brotherhood, even if we haven’t met before.

Proud to be part of it.


#352

You won’t get that from us. I think I can speak for all of us when I say that nobody here thinks that they’re better than anyone else here, and we’re here to help each other on the road to better.


#353

Dragon Reborn has helped me learn to let go of wishing things were different or that people will change. A couple of weeks ago I was having a conversation with my wife about how the couple we rent from and one of them I take care of as my job don’t have the emotional connection or bond that my Wife and I do and that I have seen in a lot of other couples. It made me feel sad for them in a way. No inside jokes. No songs that invoke an emotional response or feeling. They sleep in different bedrooms. It’s the weirdest thing to me. It’s like seeing two different people with two separate lives who just happen to be married.


#354

Seriously? How long have we been friends?


#355

Only @blackadder jk


#356

I’m not sure where to start. I got home and had this plan I’d run Elixer and share thoughts I’ve had today. I was all in my own head. But I chose to run St1 with headphones (10 minutes in now), and…it’s digging, showing me both positive and negative feelings. I’ll share what happened today, all in my head. I’m finding some links here and there.

The most recent realization came about an hour before leaving work. I felt distance from myself for a moment, and a quiet unemotional thought surfaced: “what are you doing?” I enjoyed being able to distance myself from the day’s mental battles and when it came up, I jumped on it. I realized while thinking of my answer that my real challenge was to be honest and kind with myself.

The rest of the day, in contrast, I felt this intense mental battle going on. (I was alone, thank God). My old patterns were battling with the subliminal message that I wasn’t the role I’ve lived out. It made me sad. I’d try to bury it, but it kept being brought up again and again. I even cried some, but nothing major. Even looking back 2 weeks running St1, I’m seeing the template I kept using. It doesn’t make me happy, but it’s all I’ve thought I had. I’m being ripped off of it, and I know it’s for my good.

Adding to that, I did Total Breakdown for 2 months, but I never got hit like a lot of guys did. From what I’ve read, this is my total breakdown. It was me feeling and facing this wanting to be right, to be in control…but this never happened. DR patiently hammered at me all day. I was mentally exhaused after lunch.

Something else. I was kicking my own ass some (trying to, anyway), and it’s not as strong as it usually is. I’ve heard @JCast and others say this, and since this battle was going on all day I began to face the critical voice in me. It’s like some scared part of me is expressing anger to win his battle. As I write now, I’m not feeling the urge to retaliate at all.

That was my day.

I’m wondering now if Solitude is in DR. I thought I’d reply to the messages that came in today, and I felt an emotional comfort with being alone. I’ll allow that. It’s nice.


#357

:clap:

Did you forget about @JCast ?

@subliminalguy I’m wondering if reconciliation is hitting you hard. Have you considered more rest days or fewer loops?


#358

@subliminalguy and I have known each other for a while . I can’t give you an exact time frame but it’s somewhere between four and six years


#359

This is actually a REALLY good thing. It means that the part of you that wants to follow DR’s instructions has grown strong enough that it’s a real challenge to your old patterns. Keep fighting and your victory is inevitable.


#360

I’m only doing 2 loops purposefully. No, I didn’t forget jcast. I was under heavy emotional strain, so I put it all out there. Being emotionally naked doesn’t have one feeling confident.

And more accurately, I put my hurt out there, and a voice in my head pummelled me with “you shouldn’t come back. You’re out of here.” All the old negative messages surfaced, and I viewed everyone like I believed my mom was toward me. Cold, distant, and fearful of caring. In truth, I’ve been doing this to myself. I just…blamed everyone else, making them the bad guys. I realized this while writing.

Be aware that insisting on recon is actually dismissing the actual issues I spent time laying out. Be mindful of that as the forum ambassador. DR is no game. It’s hitting all my mental barricades. It is painful to write, and being dismissed via recon…is something I’d like to not experience again. If you don’t know how to answer, that’s ok.

And lastly, @RVconsultant, do you need fewer loops or more rest days yourself? I’ve spoken of recon maybe 2ce since I began journaling for DR, and one was replying to Saint’s comment a few days in. I’ve seen you write about your own recon symptoms a couple of times recently. I’m wondering if you’re seeing this. Recon hasn’t been on my mind.


#361

I’ll eat my words I wrote last night @RVconsultant. I’ve woken up a few mornings and have felt that full head feeling. I’m listening to Elixer right now due to it. I spoke angrily. Rereading what I wrote last night this morning, I read it angrily.

I was wrong.


#363

Yes.

I have that too.