Awesome. Are you moving to ST2 tomorrow or still sticking to ST1 for a while?
Gonna continue with ST1 for another week or two. I want to wait for a clear intuition to move onto ST2 before switching.
Not gonna lie, Khan makes me hate myself. I’m getting to the stage where that’s where most of the pain comes from. Before I could waste an entire day doing stupid shit and I’d think “Oh well, I just had an off day.” But now I feel an overwhelming drive to be productive. Wasting time makes me feel so much pressure that I’m forced to take action. It’s a type of self-hatred that’s very good at making me face up to how much better my life could be and making me move in that direction. It’s the complete opposite of a feeling of defeat and hopelessness. It’s a powerful urge to change everything about yourself for the better.
Latest round of tiredness wearing off. Anxiety/depression very low. Tomorrow will be the 20th day since I’ve been running ST1 solo. I average around 15-18 hours listening per day so I’ll be reaching 500 hours on ST1 tomorrow. Considering whether to move onto ST2 next week or stick with ST1 one more week.
Feeling strong and motivated to overcome whatever’s holding me back. ST1 has ripped away my fear of confronting the problems in my life. I don’t have the same illusion of comfort keeping me from pushing myself. Khan has really made me want more for my life. I really can’t sit back and let the days pass without progress anymore.
My mind is addicted now to the feeling you get when you face down a fear. Instead of avoiding what makes me uncomfortable, I’m able to embrace it and actually enjoy that experience. Since this is all on ST1, I’m more pumped than ever to see how much farther ST2 can carry me.
Letting go of a lot of time-wasting habits. Things that used to be fun (video games, porn, goofing off with friends) don’t interest me anymore. I feel empty when doing all that stuff. If I do do them, I feel pain afterwards for wasting my time.
I’m getting to the point where the only thing that interests me is self-improvement. Hitting the gym has become a breeze. It’s now one of the things I feel really driven to do. I’m actually feeling pretty lost right now as to the direction I want to take my life and Khan has made me reevaluate a lot of shit. I’m a college student so there’s a lot of options I could take right now. Having more resources is a big priority hence my interest in EoG but I’m undecided as to the exact route I should take. My first goal for the summer is to build up my body and then get more guidance about the best path to take for prosperity.
There’s this feeling of emptiness I get when thinking about a lot of the stuff that used to interest me. It’s seems like apathy except I still feel tons of drive to do stuff that I know will improve my life. I care less and less about doing shit that doesn’t move me forward. Before I had to struggle to not fall back into the same old, time-wasting habits. Now, their pull over me is gone. My head is finally clear.
I’m also getting a lot of old memories resurfacing. Even stuff from when I was a kid. Looks like ST1 is still doing some work on healing.
Days 36 + 37:
Feel like I’m stagnating on ST1. I’m still moving forward, but not with the intensity I noticed when I first ran ST1. Maybe this is a sign for me to move onto ST2. I’ve lost interest in a lot of my bad habits, but I don’t feel I’m making as much progress as I could be. The excitement just isn’t as strong as it used to be. That’s why I’m thinking ST1 has cleared up all the negative shit and I’m stuck with this feeling of emptiness that needs to be filled which is hopefully where ST2 comes in. I’ll probably hold off on ST2 until the weekend just to make sure I’m not rushing the healing of ST1.
Awesome journal, really enjoy reading. It almost makes me want to tackle Kahn ST1, but after much contemplation I am moving to EoG today.
Keep us updated on ST2!
It could also be that you have reached a wall and it could take time before you break through it and get to the next layer of stuff.
Don’t get addicted to the healing part of subs.
You can always return to ST1 in the future. I think it is wise now to move onto ST2.
I felt the same, and it is the reason I moved to ST2.
Thanks Hope EOG works out for you as well as Khan has been for me.
That’s something I was thinking about too, but this time it feels different than earlier periods of growth. For one, I’ve never gotten a sense of stagnation when running Khan until now. It’s always been a wild ride. If a breakthrough happens by the weekend I’ll stick with ST1, otherwise move on.
Good to see your Khan progress followed the same path. I am getting a strong sense that I should move on and with so many hours under my belt, I feel it’s about time.
Yes I’m on ST3 now. The healing is great but it did give me vibes from the other company that has members “healing” since 2016. When you feel like its time to move on, Go on right ahead.You paid for it anyways.
Hmm I’ve never used anything from them, but yeah I don’t want to be stuck always waiting for the healing to be done forever since that’s a continuous and permanent process.
We agree – that’s why we make our products the way they are. Jump around, test the other stages, see what works for you. If you need to return back to ST1, that’s your choice to do so. Otherwise, experiment and enjoy the ride!
Day 37 + 38:
Well I decided to make the move onto ST2 (thanks to everyone for their positive comments) over the weekend annnnnnnnd I’m not sure what to say.
There hasn’t been the massive rollercoaster ride that was ST1. At least not that I’ve noticed. This weekend has been hectic so it’s been hard for me to establish a baseline, but I can’t say I have anything major to report yet. Now I’m not at all discounting any subtle changes, but this weekend has been crazy (for reasons outside of Khan) enough that I wouldn’t have noticed them.
No serious tiredness or anxiety yet. Just feeling ready to tackle next week and see what ST2 will bring me.
I’m losing interest in doing stuff where I’m not the protagonist of my own story. Like watching TV shows feels so boring to me now after the thought struck me of why would I want to waste my life watching other people? I feel bored and numb when I’m not taking charge of my life. It dawned on me today that the “depression” I felt today and earlier in Khan was just my mind forcing me to change. As long as I took action to do anything that moved me forward even a little like just going out for a jog immediately cleared away the negative state.
Feeling good after I pushed myself to the limits at the gym today. Feel like ST2 is strengthening the part of myself driving me forward. Sometimes I wonder if the off and on days I have are due to Khan or something else entirely. Things are getting better, but it’s definitely been a rollercoaster with Khan. But I’m not sure how many of the days struggling with anxiety and depression are from Khan’s reprogramming. Too much shit happening in my life right now for me to isolate it down. I’ve thought about stopping Khan for a few days just to see if things even out, but I’m too hungry for progress right now to test this hypothesis. Regardless, I’m confident my life is getting better through it’s not always a easy journey.