Even a year ago I probably would’ve flipped but I don’t take it personal. I’m now really starting to see that I indeed wasted time being with her because of the woman she ended up developing into. I’m taking nothing personal because I refuse to emotionally invest into someone that I’ll NEVER want to be with again. She’s not a bad person overall but she’s damn sure no longer relationship material for a high quality man.
Yes sir it is indeed the series from Netflix. Looks like there’s going to be a 4th season too.
All of yesterday and even this morning I’m noticing that I’m being notably calmer than usual, mentally and emotionally. One thing I will say is that I feel as if my confidence is shrinking so I’ve been having to put in more effort on that area.
I’ve been listening to programs from Sapien Medicine too during the day so I’ve started back with listening to subs overnight if I don’t get enough listening time during the day, but I may have to stop this as I notice that overnight listening has me wake up feeling tired.
I’ve also amped up my studies on Mack game, something I started 10 months ago, but I’m taking it even more serious now, for the knowledge in the Mack game, lies information to help me become the man I want to be, and will guide me on how to handle both life and women better in general.
Yup, the fat burner is working. I’m losing weight without much extra physical activity or diet adjustments.
My appetite and sex drive have been pretty high the past couple days, I wonder if this signifies an increase in testosterone since my body is burning fat, and of course Emperor’s sex mastery scripting.
For some reason I was also urged to make a more concentrated playlist separate from my normal stack that consist only of Emperor and PCC. I call it my pure power playlist. I can still of course go to my regular stack and play an element like Sanguine in case I feel extra irritated, etc. we’ll see how this plays out.
I‘ve added rebirth and godlike masculinity to the stack. I know they’re already in emperor but something kept telling me those aspects needed more attention to help speed things up. I’ve also added Sapien medicine programs to my routine. The program that clears negative energy and thought forms from one’s system I’m sure will help clear the way for help with whatever energetic expressions the subs try and bring out of me. I felt energetically light and clean while using it.
Their subconscious limits dissolver is also being used to help get faster results with all subclub programs. Hoping emp v4 and commandant drop soon.
Using 2 loops of Rebirth, I felt a light sense of being cleared of BS programming.
3 loops of GM, I felt as if I was being introduced to an aspect of my personality that although I knew was always there, we had never properly met. Like the feeling you get when you talk to someone on line for months and finally get to meet them in the flesh one day.
With Emperor V4, I felt a strong pounding in my heart and a calm surge of clean energy. This morning I was also able to assert myself in a minor situation very strongly, but without being too aggressive. The person clearly didn’t like it but they fell in line and got the message.
Not sure if it’s the new beginnings module in Emp V4 but I’m having some huge mistakes that I made in dealing with ppl being thrown in my face today. Ways in which I could’ve been more logical and protected myself before I ended up in a situation that would take longer to fix than what it needed to. Not an easy pill to swallow but it’s a lesson nonetheless. I now realize that I need to love myself ruthlessly and be more rational going forward. F**k whoever has a problem with it.
More things to note:
Haven’t noticed until now but my productivity at work has become more consistent. I either meet the standard or more regularly, exceed it every day I work. It’s also become easier to maintain focus. Although I can still use some work in the concentration department in general.
A female friend of mine were having a conversation about female nature via chat messaging at work. She mentioned at one point that she loved how I was talking to her and sent an image reminiscent of a brain getting finger f***ed. This reminds me of what I’ve learned about Mack game as far as penetrating a woman’s mind first, so this was just conformation that when I focus, I can do that well. She also asked me to massage her hands since they’ve been hurting since Saturday.
Although I realized that doing that in the break room could land us in trouble; depending on who saw, Part of me asserted to myself that I just didn’t give a damn. There was gonna be nothing sexual about the massage and whoever had a problem with me taking care of a good friend could kiss my ass. Mostly women are at my job and a majority of them have a lot of growing up to do anyway. I had to remind myself that I’m a grown ass man and care nothing for the opinions of children or child-minded individuals. Massage was given, but no f**ks were.
Noticed how when I hugged one coworker later on (also a good female friend of mine), I caught two more female coworkers that I hardly speak to staring. I know they have crushes and they’re even older women but I have no interest.
I found myself questioning how much I value money towards the end of my shift. While on another subliminal a few months ago from a different producer, I made the goal to reach $15,000 per day (a goal that simply arised from my subconscious while I used the program). Don’t get me wrong, I’m not one of those delusional folks that thinks money doesn’t matter at all, and I do know that some amazing things can be done with money, I just no longer value money more than I value myself as a man.
I’ve noticed for months now that my motivations to become wealthy have changed. I now question myself however of how bad I really want it. I wonder if my original goals have changed because I’m maturing or slowly I’m just losing passion for money because I’ve hit so many dead ends with how to get ahead financially. Even visualization regarding abundance feels stale compared to what it used to. Maybe I’m just sobering up in regards to how I view money and finances. Anyway I’ll stop the rambling right there.
Can’t sleep anymore so I’ll journal. I was woken up by my ex. Won’t get too deep into details on what happened but it involved her sharing some things she’s been feeling emotionally lately. This includes regret about her breaking up with me and expressing that she felt selfish about the moves she made afterwards, and that she felt like I hated her because I’ve been; as she describes, concise and aggressive towards her the past couple weeks.
I simply told her to do what makes her happy. I carry no hatred, just focused on my own stuff. There were then some other things that were discussed. In all, no judgements made by me. I simply did what I could to try and steer the conversation in the most positive way I could.
What I took from it is how calm I stayed emotionally despite how emotional the nature of the conversation was. Also helped me realize how much I’ve already matured on the 3 weeks I’ve been on these programs from subclub. I expressed some things to her too but not to play the victim role, mostly just to let her know that I haven’t forgotten the things she’s done for me in the past without me even having to ask and that despite however distant I may seem, I still have her back.
With that being said I still keep in mind to move forward in dealing with her (or anyone else) in a rational manner despite the moment of emotional vulnerability we shared. Can’t let one emotional moment make me throw out the lessons I’ve already learned. This moment made me realize that my masculinity has already developed farther than I realized.
Emperor V4, Godlike Masculinity and Sanguine have been added to my pure power playlist. PCC is still in there. Figured these components in their own way help boost my personal and social power, while my main stack of these 4 programs along with inner circle, rebirth and aura added help me holistically with the results I want to see.
Noticing more of a mentor and leadership style behavior towards my 4 year old daughter, as opposed to just being the caretaker style of parent.
Started playing Emperor when I woke up. A few minutes later I ran across a Facebook post from my ex. It triggered me. After reading the post, I felt rage surge in me. Within minutes that rage turned into sadness and I broke down and cried.
What triggered me is that in the FB post she mentioned why she had made certain decisions in life up to this point. For one she never knew her Father and so within a few years of us being together, I knew that but her post confirmed it. She would often place certain expectations on me but thanks to the conversation I mentioned in a previous post, I now realize what she meant when she said she tried to get something from me that I didn’t have to give.
See, I had no father either. Despite that I searched for years for information and tools that could help transform me into a high quality man. The past 3 years especially I’ve actually been successful in doing so. But see I had no concept of how to be a leader or protector of a family because there was no example in my household, so naturally I made more mistakes than I probably should’ve. I grew angry at myself also because for a while I knew I couldn’t give her whatever she was looking for but I let my emotions and intentions of trying to keep our family together make the majority of my decisions for me in dealing with her.
Also, in the post she mentioned that she never felt like she had a good childhood and to be honest, hers was pretty fucked up. She explained that she wanted a child so badly so that she could give that child what she never had which were things like a strong family and healthy childhood.
Years ago I initially kept refusing her request to have a child. It’s not that I didn’t want any at all, I just wanted to be sure that we’d be financially stable enough for it in the long run. Between her constant persistence and things looking like they’d be ok, I finally made the decision to impregnate her, but a long series of incidents occurred which put us in tough spots.
Fast forward to present day and where I’m at is that I love my daughter and handle my responsibilities as a father, but in general I don’t like being a father. So much strain has been put on my finances, mind and emotions. I don’t regret my child but I do regret the time in life that I helped bring her into this world. I knew I wasn’t as ready as I would’ve wanted to be but I still took a leap of faith because my ex is someone I truly wanted to build a life with at the time.
I feel this way but I also take responsibility for the choices I made and accountability so that I avoid making the same mistakes going forward. I feel the new beginnings module is what brought these thoughts and feelings to the surface this morning.
Either way I’ll continue to care for my child. She didn’t ask to be here so it’s my responsibility still to care for her. I just know that if I had to do it all over again I’d still be a single man until I had my shit all the way together and then invite a high quality woman to come along for the ride afterwards, as long as she actually contributed of course.
And then another shit will happen…
As far as i can see from your postings you did what you thought was the best in your situation. Thats all we can do at any moment. With our limited view and expierences we can only try to make the best decision. If you spend time with your daughter you are more than a high quality man. You are a real father. Not a suited checkbook man.
Keep your head high and dont regret any time you had. You are only here at this point now because of your expierences and decisions. They mold you and they will always change you for the better.
Selfreflection is a nice tool but it isnt meant to be a sharp knife.
Doing. Learning. Looking forward. There is nothing more we can do and we still fail from time to time.
@Hannibal Thank you. I think part of the reason I was also angry was just realizing that not only were these realizations in my face almost the whole time but I also was aware of how things could turn out. Like knowing the answers to the test but still failing. Not saying I saw every single thing coming but by acting on the knowledge and trusting my intuition more, I feel like my life in general would’ve been much better off. Now that I learned the hard way it’s just motivation to get back in track and stay there.
Update: I just noticed that both my physical and sexual appetites have both taken a nosedive since starting emp v4. I seem not to eat or even drink more than I need to. I also watch what I eat more.
As far as sex I feel fine without it and there’s no interest in porn or masturbation
My appetite for food returned a bit and that’s probably only because I’m on vacation. Once I go back to regular schedule it’ll probably tank again since I’ll be extra busy.
My sexual appetite has vanished like Houdini, I have to wonder if that’s because my subconscious wants me to just start saving sexual energy for other uses until I find a female target I actually want to unleash it upon.
I feel like time has been moving fast the past few days, but my perception of it is slow. Hard to explain but I’m sure quantum tech/quantum limitless has something to do with that.
When I look in the mirror, I don’t feel like the old me is staring back anymore. It’s more than just the weight loss, it’s as if a version of me from another timeline or dimension is slowly replacing the version of me that’s been here since my birth. Again, difficult to explain. Perhaps it’s how I’m consciously perceiving the changes happening below the surface.
No idea why but I’ve decided to make my pure power stack, my main one. It now only consists of emperor v4 and PCC. I’ll play inner circle and the stacking modules occasionally but I feel as if the foundation has been built so to speak. Now it’s time to build the internal “skyscraper” with Emp and PCC being the framework.
Not sure why but I seem to have a more relaxed attitude towards my amount of listening hours. I’m still listening a minimum of 6 hours daily when possible but I feel a more “listen as needed” attitude. Not sure if this is because of the power and size of EV4 or something else but this attitude did begin around a day after I started the new emperor. In any case I’ll be running it all night tonight and plan to only do all emperor overnight since it’s the most extensive sub in the stack. 7.5 hours should be a good amount.
Ok, so the desire to run the programs is diminishing now. Planned to do 11 loops of GM overnight and cut it off after only 2. Not sure if this is a symptom of reconciliation or my subconscious still has things that it’s processing that require more time. I’m taking the day off to see how it goes.
In the meantime Ive returned from vacation and even women at my job that paid little attention to me last week are now showing signs of interest. They’re not being forward but because I know the signs to look out for, they’re blaring to me.
Meanwhile my social confidence is high externally. Internally I feel extremely calm, and even indifferent towards manifesting my life goals. I’m beginning to wonder if I’ve wanted these things all along or if these desires were instilled within me, which is why I’m becoming so carefree towards achieving them. I don’t like the feeling of lacking ambition but the absence of stress towards being successful is nice. I’m still taking action but even when I don’t I simply don’t beat myself up about it.
I woke up, and still am incredibly calm and even-keeled. I also notice that my subconscious is guiding me like a mentor, to remind me to remain dominant with my body language, speech and thought patterns and social interactions at all times, without being aggressive but assertive rather. Female coworkers at my job also seem to be warming up to me more than usual and are even giving me small gifts or going out of their way to perform kind gestures. One also commented yesterday that I seem to “have” all the ladies.
For the first time since I was 13, I’m finding it easy to do no Fap, only 3 days in but the reduced need for sleep, extra energy and motivation, as well as increased social confidence is nice. I know my the subs are also playing a part in this.
At work me and the people who sit in my row were joking around in a chat group. For some reason we started getting super silly and I even started taking it to the extreme. One of my coworkers remarked how everything I was saying out loud or in the chat was hilarious and that I was on a roll. Some of my other colleagues thought I was on drugs lol. I’ve been a bit more serious than usual lately but I felt no guilt about letting loose today. I still remained productive of course. I even went as far as to jokingly reply to an email my Manager sent to the whole department, my response made everyone laugh including the Manager.
I’ve caught several women eye fu**ing me today, some of the same women I caught staring several times. One female coworker who has kinda been ignoring me also pulled me to the side to have a conversation about a recent office event. I kept her laughing. Saw the same woman when I went to the bank after work and once again she went out of her way to start a conversation with me. I didn’t even know she was right behind me in line. Again I kept the conversation light-hearted and one of the bankers even joined in while we were in line, pretty soon everyone in line was joking around. She has a dope personality but not sure if i’d seriously pursue her. I’m enjoying having breathing room ever since my relationship ended. This also once again confirms to me that the more I pretend not to notice attention from certain women, the more they seem to want mine.
I’ve also decided not to engage in casual sex anymore. I’ve had more than enough of it in my lifetime and I’m done sleeping with women or giving any part of myself to women that aren’t actively helping me advance in life. Either me an the woman ( or women) are helping each other grow in life or they’re just getting friend-zoned and kept around for good conversation and maybe occasional companionship. I also wouldn’t have sex with a woman that I didn’t plan to know long-term to avoid getting her pregnant and ending up in a potentially problematic situation for 18+ years.
Forgot to document this part the other night because I was busy but there was a conversation I had with the director of my child’s school the other night when I picked her up. The topic I had no problem with but I did have an issue with the way she conducted herself. When she asked me a question and I didn’t say what she wanted to hear she cut me off and ranted for about 30 seconds. I then perceived her as placing social pressure on me into answering her question. I paused for 2 seconds and just answered but from that moment on I didn’t know how to react and began pondering how I could’ve handled that situation better.
During my drive home I simply arrived to the conclusion that I could’ve maintained dominance by calling her out for interrupting me, and then asserting what I had to say; after all, I was trying to tell her an important tidbit of info. I simply took it as a loss and a lesson to be learned. Last night, I while I was picking my daughter up one of her teachers handed me a note from the school director. According to the contents, now I could tell she was being passive-aggressive. We had already made clear what was to be done the night before so what’s the need for a note? I went from letting the situation go, to now recognizing that this female may think I’m someone she can mess with and so I decided right there to put her in her place the next time I saw her (she wasn’t there last night). Fast forward to tonight, I made eye contact with her as soon as I walked into my child’s school. She quickly looked down. I went straight into her office.
Told her I was there to settle the business that was to be handled, but also went out of my way to call her our for interrupting me the other night and then proceeded to tell her what needed to be said before I was rudely interrupted. When she realized how important it was she stayed quiet. I said f**k it and just dominated our interaction from there, I didn’t raise my voice but my tone was very firm. We came to an agreement, the air between her and I has been cleared. Have to say although I hate how the initial interaction went, I’m proud of myself for setting the record straight once I recognized a potential problem. On top of that, I got to learn a lesson from the initial interaction so it all worked out, and in a drama-free manner.