Whilst the story has a good outcome - so far, it also has possible triggers inside - please be wary of this
Feeling much better about myself. Currently on a break from subs until tonight - technically only giving myself a nights rest from subs. Unsure as to whether I’ll give myself more or not this week until my normal break time.
I’m considering doing 4 days a week instead of 5.
Interestingly I added Khan Stage 1 and Stark Stage 1 (I had finished my weekly stack and was supposed to be on break) on Saturday night as the situation with my boyfriend and the people telling him to kill himself and all that stuff had been affecting all of us a lot. So much more than that but it was starting to get to us and I didn’t know how to handle it. My boyfriend told me that he was feeling suicidal due to all of the pressure/overwhelm of the situation and I didn’t know what to do about the situation.
I played Stage 1 and Stark for 1 loop each over night whilst we sleep on masked sounds. When I woke up the next morning I ended up having the idea of phoning the police. I know you’re probably thinking, why didn’t you do that in the first place? Because there’s so much more, that I haven’t written about and kept personal, and was in a fog of overwhelm that I didn’t really know how to think. Also as it’s social media I didn’t know what they could do and how. I wasn’t aware.
Called them and today we’ve had some good news.
To catch you up, basically a guy who worked for us and was part of my dance company has been going out of his way to spread hate and talk about my boyfriend - who is simply a strict, give no excuses, kind of dance teacher. People hate that, and the fact he’s honest, and were accusing him of mental/emotional abuse.
The guy in question had made a video about mental and emotional abuse and all this stuff whilst slating my boyfriend, however not mentioning any names. This has lead, and even before that, to death threats and people telling my boyfriend to kill himself and attacking his business. Along with other comments and all sorts being placed onto the page. The BF has since been on a low, suicidal, questioning his self worth and all that.
Back to the good news, he received a call today to say that the police and watched and done background work on everything and that they’re on his/our side and are keeping a close eye on this guy and everyone else who are involved. He’s also the one behind the prank calls and behind the death threats/kill yourself comments as the police located his calls/IP address.
Why am I telling you this?
Because I truly believe that Stark/Stage 1 helped that night and gave me the idea to do this, by working on the scenes instead of being a Khan and confronting the situation by fighting fire with fire.
I want to say a shoutout to @BLACKICE for this too as I was reading a thread, I can’t remember which - probably the Stark one, about visualising he was in front of Tony Stark and asked for creative help. I didn’t visualise or any of that, but I did ask for help in my head and set Stark/Khan to play. That hopefully set everything into motion and then I slept on the situation.
I thank, and appreciate you for your advice - also for anyone else, especially @Azriel and @RVconsultant that has helped recently as I believe the subs and stack has rounded up to help to this moment.
Before you read this section, please remember that whilst I’ve spoken about my boyfriend I’m also in an open relationship and we’re both free to meet, see and whatever other people. These people below know I’m in an open relationship and accept that.
In other news, the guy I’ve mentioned before - guy number 1, has been messaging me out of the blue. I spoke to him the other day but have been trying to keep my distance as I don’t want to be making any one-sided emotional connects as I’ve fallen for, I’d like to say, “straight” guys in the past who haven’t given a fuck about me afterward but have helped me out sexually. I definitely want to to continue with this guy though, he’s sweet, open and very helpful for sure - I just don’t want to jump into anything.
Another guy I used to talk to, and spoke about my thing with ended up RANDOMLY sending me a message on my new instagram - bare in mind I didn’t speak to him for a long while, no messaged, and didn’t follow him on my new instagram (which he also doesn’t follow) and ended up sending me a video of someone doing something similar to what I’m interested in - so I was like…woah…okay.
The other guy I said who told me I was attractive has invited my around his house and wants to make me some wine and chocolate…(the one I said I think it won’t go any further with) which is sweet. I won’t be leading him on or anything but I’d like to make nice friends with him. Bare in mind I don’t know if he’s actually crushing or just being nice.
The guy I really want to do my thing, the second one in my previous post, I haven’t spoken to - I hope he does it but I don’t want anything with him emotionally.
The other guy I used to teach who randomly messaged me, I’m not sure where that could go.
Anyway, I’ve gone from being with my boyfriend in an open relationship having no sexual interests, that I was aware of, to having a few - I’m good with that!
I haven’t used Libertine or BLU in about a week so hoping to bring this back this week.
I feel like I need to use BLU and Libertine on alternate days as I don’t think my mind is primed to use them every day and it needs the rest - even more than I thought, to make stuff happen. I really need to think about how I’m using them and utilising my rest days. I get really tired after just one loop of each.
I’m super excited for the Ultima customs to possibly make this into something I could use every day (if that’s how it works.)