To Shayul Ghul and Back


#61

DAY14(update)

Flashes of anger and frustration popping up today. May be reconciliation, or maybe because of the fact that it’s almost the end of the year, and I honestly don’t feel like I accomplished much.

Body aches also. But that can be attributed to the work I did yesterday moving stuff around the garage and assembling the metal rack.

Even though I feel anger and frustration, I was able to more or less keep myself from lashing out. Even when I felt that my kids were “testing” me and trying to find out how far they can go, I was able to keep calm outwardly.


#62

It is.

Perhaps you might even benefit from more loops. Perhaps you’d benefit the most by just keeping the number of loops exactly as they are.

I did read your journal in its entirety. As you go back and read your journal, when were you getting in your own opinion based on your own experience your best results, and when were you getting the least anger or moodiness regardless of whether it may or may not have been reconciliation.

If there’s a way you could listening to just enough loops to get change with as little unpleasantness as possible would you want that?


#63

I’d say, for now, this is my “sweet spot”. With only 2 loops, I really didn’t feel any change. Just a lot of anger and negativity boiling up. I used to play 2 loops of SanguineU to counter that, but I didn’t want to grow a dependence on it, so I’m limiting myself to only 1 loop of SanguineU (and a loop of SanguineQ at night, slower acting than U-version, but it still helps me sleep)


#64

DAY15(early update)

Woke up a few minutes before my alarm rang. But because of the cold weather, I really didn’t feel like getting up earlier than needed.

After doing my morning meditation, I played 1 loop of DR ST1.

Just finished an interview for another company I was applying to. Funny really. There were some questions that I didn’t really knew the answers to. And yet, unlike before, I either tried harder, or told the interviewer that I didn’t really know since I haven’t came across it before. But in either case, I didn’t feel like a dumb fuck as before.

Not sure if it’s because of the 2 day break from subs that has me feeling like this.


#65

Yes I did notice this was a theme in your journal.

How well was 2 loops of Sanguine working to counter that?

I don’t like to develop dependency on things. What if Sanguine was teaching your subconscious a skill rather than fostering a dependency?

This might be an important question to ask.

Do I like to give people new thoughts to think about that might be different that what they had in mind?

@SaintSovereign @Fire does Sanguine teach new skills to the subconscious or does it foster a dependency?


#66

Possibly, however, I mainly use SanguineU for the “fast acting” effect it provides. Given that I am often impatient and constantly looking for results, I find it hard to wait for SanguineQ (note the differences U and Q) to affect me and teach me something, hence I only use SanguineQ when I sleep.


#67

DAY15(update)

Extremely busy today. And even if I’m busy working on office stuff, nothing seems to be going right. It’s like when shit rains, it pours hard. Thing is, I only got it earlier, but they need it done by tomorrow.
Oh well. Probably another all nighter.


#68

@Jcast as a fellow Sibling-hood member, do you have any input about this to your fellow DR listener?


#69

@d1gz Be patient. You may not see or necessarily feel anything happening but it is. If you wish to run an Ultima title with Dragon Reborn I would run The Elixir. The other thing to take into consideration is how many loops per day you are running


#70

Thanks @JCast

I am confident people can benefit from the wisdom you are gaining from your DR journey!


#71

Aaaaahhhhh. Lord grant me patience! Right now!

But yeah. Kidding aside. Thanks for the advice @JCast. Will switch SanguineU with ElixirU. As of yesterday, I’m playing 4 loops of DR per day. Do you think this is too much? Too little? And how often should I play Elixir?

Also, thanks @RVconsultant for pointing other things out.


#72

DAY16(early update)

Like yesterday, I woke up a few minutes before my alarm rang. Still felt sluggish though as I went to bed late and also due to the cold weather.

Did my morning meditation and played DR ST1. As per recommendation from @JCast, I switched SanguineU with ElixirU. And though my brain is a still a bit sluggish, and I’m still feeling a bit lazy, at the back of my mind, I feel something pushing me on to do something. Kind of reminds me of the time when I ran ExecutiveU, though toned down a bit.

Eyes still feel tired though. Will probably take a rest and then continue working on my presentation. I just finished working on the office stuff from yesterday. So hopefully that will do for now.


#73

You may want to pull back a bit and only run two loops and then one loop daily of Elixir


#74

I write with the hope of giving others another perspective from which to view their situations. New ideas. New interpretations. What you do with it, is up to you. Perhaps you find a way to benefit.


#75

Would you please explain your reasoning behind this idea?


#76

@d1gz said he felt a bit sluggish and lazy. Sounds like he needs more processing time or rest


#77

Thank you! That does make sense.


#78

I hear both of you @RVconsultant . This is also why I’m hesitant to use SanguineU and I’m still using Q. I am not sure if I’m understanding Ultima properly but my impression is that it’s a “use when needed” sub, and Q are slower yet more permanent.


#79

Actually the exact opposite


#80

Wait, did you mean Ultima’s are meant for long term? This is actually what’s confusing me. I’m still using RebirthQ, StarkQ and SanguineQ as opposed to the Ultimas because I thought Q’s are meant for long term use?

Heck this is good news if ever, I could just switch these subs to ultima if it’s superior to Q.