In the middle of the afternoon and my rage subsided and I felt a moment of vulnerability, felt like outdoor silence after a storm passes. I came to realize and even accept that deep down, I feel disappointed that I’ve gone most of my life without being understood, and in return accepted for who and what I am from a soul perspective. I’ve often times have accepted this reality but sometimes struggle to maintain this mind-frame.
Coincidentally, I glanced at the clock and saw 3:33 which is supposed to be a sign that the “ascended masters” are with you and support you, depending on who you ask. I felt a brief moment of gratitude of knowing that at least spiritually, I’m not alone. The disappointment and heavy feeling quickly subsided. I’m now back to my default self.
Strange how that realization hit me once i calmed down, seeing as how that wasn’t even the source of my anger.
What I’m noticing about the executive is that for the time being, it only works for me in the moment. What I mean is, it pushes, or rather motivates me to complete a task within 10 minutes of playing it. Once the task is finished, or the loop is done (whichever comes first), I relax. Just been a couple days I’ve been using it for, so I didn’t expect it to turn me into a machine this quickly anyway.
With the commander…I feel changes but they’re so subtle that I’m having a tough time documenting what they are. Main thing it’s having me recall is what I learned in the middle of last year. Social power is like wealth, if you want it to last for the long-term; then use the least amount possible in any given situation, and know how to get returns on your investments. Again, just been a few days of use. I know it’ll take time to feel it out.
running 2 ultimas and a Terminus custom in a day keeps the mind busy. I can tell each program has to “wait its turn” for mental processing and execution. The effects of my custom sub are still present but its now sharing space with 2 other programs so there may be a slight slowdown until I become more acclimated to the load. Glad to say there’s no reconciliation thus far.