Ultimas do seem to become more apart of you and even grow in strength the more you use them. They also seem to give more prominent effects quicker than Q
I should further incorporate Sanguine Ultima in my routine. Thanks bro
No problem, you won’t regret it.
Looks like the sex and romance programming is getting to me. Caught myself yesterday morning briefly visualizing having a GF. That was strange being that it took me a couple minutes to snap out of the daydream. Even though it took a second, my lust and desire for the company of high quality women has risen slightly. I just may have walked away with a number yesterday too…except, I held myself back for a particular reason.
My oldest nephew’s Father committed suicide this past Monday and it’s been a tough week for the family in general. My oldest nephew is like the little brother I never had, and so now I’m out to make certain he can stay strong while he heals.
I feel strange even reporting this under the circumstances but I’m not doing it to brag (I don’t consider the following all that brag worthy anyway), just for journaling purposes and taking notice of the sex and romance scripting finally beginning to take hold, “coincidentally” just a couple days after I begin my custom Ultima:
At my former brother-in-law’s wake, I noticed one particular female approach his casket. She stood on one side while my oldest sister and I stood on another. She began to cry softly but never exactly broke down. I’m not sure why but even though I didn’t know her, something in me wanted to console her. I refrained from doing so. I did notice however that after a few moments, she began staring in my direction a lot. At first I just thought she was trying to figure out who I was, but for another hour afterwards I caught her staring or glancing my way several times for the next hour. I can only attribute this to the sexual and irresistible qualities that ascension scripting instills into one’s aura. After exiting the room of the viewing, when she stared she usually wasn’t within speaking distance, so I never bothered to initiate a conversation.
There was a woman there who is the Mother of my nephew’s little brother. Best way to sum this up is that you can tell there was an attraction between us that couldn’t be explained but being that we were at a funeral, neither one of us wanted to cross that line and initiate “that” kind of conversation given the circumstances. We made eye contact probably over a dozen times. When we did it’s almost as if we were both trying to figure each other out, like the mystery added on to the tension. Mind you this woman was at least 20 years my senior, but I still found many things about her attractive.
One of my niece’s friends showed up who I’ve known for a while. My niece and her friends are around my age. She always thought I was sexy, and she’s always been pretty but has been becoming even better looking with time. Dope ass personality too, though she seems to have moments where she mentally drifts off, maybe due to things she’s been through. In any case, when we see one another, we usually joke and refer to each other as “bae” or as husband and wife. We just haven’t got together after all these year because one or both of us is always in a relationship and neither one of us likes drama so we don’t cheat. Thing is, when we greeted each other yesterday and hugged you couldn’t tell that we weren’t a couple because we held and squeezed each other for an extended period of time which never happened before. She also squeezed me when we hugged which she’s never done before. While we were drinking she also put herself next to me on a bench, brushed up against me several times and even leaned into me a few times, as if she were trying to lay on me. After the burial, we went back to the house of the side of the family of the deceased, to commune and just ease the tension from the day that occurred, and eat as well. While we were there my niece’s friend commented how there were too many people around to give me a lap dance at the moment, and how she couldn’t put her ass on me. I smirked and flirtatiously told her that it was cool, it’ll just build up the anticipation for when it actually does happen. She bust out laughing. Mind you, I usually don’t even flirt with women who are involved with someone, even when I’ve known them for a while. I even told her I’ll be taking her from her boyfriend as soon as she messes up. Her response: “that’s what I like to hear”.
one last woman in particular I noticed would hold extended eye contact when she spoke to me and act more submissive towards me than all the other men at the function.
Been dealing with a lot so I actually forgot to post yesterday but I’ll do it now since I got some down time. Ever since I began the 2nd cycle of my custom, especially with the new Ultima thrown in, the world around me had felt different in terms of his time passes. I’m becoming so present within myself that I hardly even notice the time anymore.
Also, while I ran Phoenix Ultima overnight I had a very strange thing happen. I experienced a dream within a dream. Woke up from a dream to discover I had to use the bathroom, I got up and still had my headphones on which was playing my Ultima. When I finally unlocked and opened my room door, that’s when I discovered that I was still laying in bed in the real world but actually still had to use the bathroom.
I never experienced dreaming within a dream and have no idea how that even happens. In other news, it seems like my “rough edges” are becoming softer. Hard to explain so I’ll just simply by saying I can still be assertive when needed but I’m going back to being more chill. At the same time, I find myself becoming even more carefree in general, and also being annoyed recently by how much people are contacting me lol.
I’ve always been annoyed by over emotional people to an extent but now it’s getting worse. I suppose that apart of me has always been triggered by anything or anyone that I feel threatens my natural sense of peace and serenity. Although I can handle chaos, I seldom welcome it. If I do, it’s only because I see it as a challenge that can allow me to prove how strong and resourceful I really am to myself.
Didn’t make it to 3 loops of PU yesterday but i did do 2 several hours apart. Feels like my mind was “bloated” and perhaps was going through a meat overload. Between that and my schedule being hectic until around December 1st I’ll just take an unexpected break.
I can feel myself going through changes that I can’t exactly identify just yet so I’ll have to refrain from documenting them at the moment. They may become clearer during this short hiatus.
This just made me laugh out loud loudly enough my wife heard me all the way in the LR and asked what’s so funny. Not sure why I laughed at that, but “meat overload” is my new phrase for the day.
Lmao damn that was supposed to say mind overload.
That makes a LOT more sense but isn’t near as funny
Went ahead and did a single loop of US in the middle of the night after a few days of not listening to anything at all, wasn’t able to go back to sleep after that so I’m pretty much running off of 4 hours of sleep. So far while being logged on for work I’ve been very impatient, rude and borderline aggressive with people. Even more so if they say something stupid. I had to take a break in order to calm myself down after seeing a simple “mistake” made by coworkers in 2 different departments. Really wasn’t an error but rather a blatant ignoring of data that was put in black and white and now I’m pissed that I’m the one in charge of doing someone else’s job for them due to how the system is built.
I’ll be running my custom ultima during my lunch break in a couple hours to see if that counters the aggression, but tbh even my custom has been causing reconciliation recently as well. I felt nothing while running US and it seems like it took around 3 hours to kick in, when it did…well you just read what’s above.
My custom Ultima put me into a pretty good mood. I was borderline joyous. Did get into an altercation with an idiot but as usual once I responded with rationalism as opposed to the ignorance they spewed they began to back down. I’m in a decent mood at the moment but under the surface I still feel ready to flip to “drill sergeant mode” if necessary.