Year of the Dragon Emperor


#102

Lol I totally need this book!


#103
  • I’m having some pretty heavy recon after my loops tonight. Headache, agitated and frustrated, I have flashes of feeling hopeless.
    I think I know what’s going on with this. DE, Dominus, and everything before it had done a great job of convincing me that I am capable of improving my life, and got me expecting positive things to happen. Now, when we get a massive negative thing, it caused there to be a major difference between my new expectations and reality. It was a major real world confirmation of my old pessimistic thinking pattern, and knocked me at least a bit back toward that. That is not in tune with what the script is influencing my mind to do. Such an incongruity must be reconciled, thus the reconciliation.
    There’s no way through it but through it.

#104

I don’t recall what thread it’s in, but I’m sure you can find it. Hopefully it helps.

That seems to be what taking action is for me, at least on stage one. Finding useful information to help me get past my problems.


#105
  • I did my slight of Mouth homework and immediately felt better. I guess taking any kind of action helps with reconciliation. I’m getting better at it. I’m getting more of an understanding of the concepts and using the patterns more naturally.

#106

This is great news! I hope you find solutions soon!


#107

What’s really cool about Sleight of Mouth is that as you internalize the patterns, you’ll find yourself starting to run them on your own limiting beliefs as they come up. It’s like the Sleight of Mouth “part” of you can act as your own SLOM therapist


#108
  • I’ve generally felt pretty positive today. I forgot my iPod when I came to work, so I’m running DE in ultrasonic for the first time. I generally don’t like ultrasonic because I can’t tell that there’s anything playing, but in this case I can kinda feel something radiating off of the phone so it’s working.

#109
  • This is weird. I’m not driving toward or looking forward to anything. I’ve touched on this a little before, but I’ve been thinking about it more.
    Up until the last little while (I actually think this started on Dominus, but it’s become more pronounced on DE) I was always convinced that if I achieved some goal like getting the job I wanted, or successfully refinancing the house everything would get better. I imagined that if I got through that one thing I’d be happy, and get to focus on other things that I want to do, and have less worry in my life.
    The goals were things that it was realistic to expect some life improvement if I achieved them, but still, I put all of my mental energy into envisioning “getting there” to the detriment of my life in the time before I got there.
    After I started using advanced subs, I was able to really put myself into the moment of getting there and what life would be like after.
    The problem is, it never happened. I kept working toward those goals, and almost got there multiple times, but something always happened to derail it at the last moment.
    I think there was some kind of mental block there where part of me feels like it has to be in that state of struggle and wouldn’t know what to do if the struggle was over. Or it really fears the end of the struggle for some reason, or fears success. (The other theory I have on this is why I included Immortal’s Blade)
    That’s gone now. I no longer have the sense that I HAVE TO get that one thing accomplished achieve happiness, and that there’s this dividing line between now and when I can be happy. I am not visualizing and obsessing on anything in the future either.
    I seem a lot more comfortable in the present. It is odd, I don’t really seem to have an important goal at the moment either, I am kind of drifting in the now. It’s odd. Feels a little empty, but maybe that’s just because I am so used to having the obsessive drive.

#110
  • I think that part of my problem with achieving the goals I was so focused on was that at the same time I was generating a lot of excitement for getting there, I was also generating a lot of worry and anxiety that I’d fail to get there. That explains what happened the last few times. I almost got to two of my goals in the last couple of years, but some off the wall thing came out of the blue and knocked it off the rails.
    Here’s what I think happened. My excitement, good visualization, and action taking was causing the manifestation. However, the anxiety and negative thinking patterns caused a negative manifestation at the same time either through subconscious self sabotage, or when I’d developed past the point it could do that, direct manifestation of an uncanny series of strokes of bad luck.
    Hopefully DR is getting that part sorted out so when my ability to do the manifestation thing is back on line, there are no backfires.

#111
  • This is day off #2 and I woke up early and feeling great. I got productive right away and got some stuff done. I feel lighter and haven’t had a worry in my head all day.
    This is definitely different from previous sets of days off on this one where I basically felt like hand hammered horse shit from what was obviously reconciliation.
    I feel like I’ve gotten over some kind of hump. I’m looking forward to starting my next week of loops tomorrow night.

#112
  • This morning I was cooking with the wife. She kept “correcting” me like usual, but I didn’t take it personally this time. I responded with humor instead of anger, mind you, it was kind of snarky, but humor all the same. I wound up poking a bit of fun at her OCD and not correcting the meaninglessness things she was on me for. She did of course, but didn’t get mad.
    I realized that in this interaction I was speaking down to her instead of the other way around, and she started operating in that frame. She kind of tacitly agreed that she was being ridiculous with her OCD tendencies and I was right.

#113

I am actually facing the same situation aa you which eventually formulated the negative belief that everytime I tell anyone about the progress towards a goal, that progress simply vanishes. This seems to be the case even up till this year.


#114

Same here. That is why I am running DR.


#115
                   **Stage 1 Cycle 1 Week 4**
  • My wife’s improved treatment of me came to an end last night. Everything was going great yesterday until I didn’t get the laundry out of the dryer fast enough for her tastes. She acted like wrinkles that might have been on clothes were irreparable weak points in the fabric of reality that would inevitably lead to its unraveling into the primal chaos. This escalated into an increasingly loud tirade about my flaws and how many ways I wrong her on a daily basis.
    At first, I kept my reaction to “that’s a little much Babe” with a touch of humor to it. I really did have to stifle a laugh when she described leaving laundry in the dryer as an “arrogant and cruel” act.
    She kept escalating until our roommate, who was trying to sleep, yelled at her. Then we went upstairs and she started in with how roommate and I were ganging up on her.
    I did start to get a bit angry as she kept escalating.
    At first I was trying to use SOM patterns or something like them, but they didn’t work, and I reverted to my usual direct opposition. There is really no getting her out of that aggressive state once she’s in it.

  • I woke up on Saturday morning feeling great and with lots of energy. This afternoon when I woke up for work, I felt tired and just weird. I really don’t have the words to describe the feeling. The only thing I can nail down about it was that my aura was projecting at a crazy level. I very palpably felt the energy radiating off of my skin and extending at least a foot from me. It felt pretty good and the feeling stayed with me long after I got out of bed.


#116
  • I didn’t feel much of anything during my loops tonight. That and the “over the hump” feeling I got this weekend tell me that the initial obvious impact period is over with this one, and it’s now working on a deeper level. This is good, I’m sure that there’s a lot more for to get done before I switch stages in mid March.

#117

Nice well hope it show even more result while it goes deep, keep it up


#118
  • I woke up exhausted as all get out this morning, so maybe all of the reconciliation isn’t done yet.
    This combo really does seem to take it out of me sometimes.
    I was having thoughts of moving on to stage two when I felt good this weekend, but that might just be that pesky resistant part of my subconscious trying to make me stop it with Stage one. Nice try, it hasn’t even been a month yet.
    This is why I think I do much better having a plan and sticking to the plan. I tripled the one month minimum to make sure that each stage has time to fully (at least as fully as possible) do its thing a d leave me ready for the next, so I’m not touching stage 2 until March 21st.

  • I’m in the middle of my first loop, and it’s just making me feel HEAVY tonight. I feel a sense of weight in my head and body. It’s not horrible, but not by any means pleasant. The next issue that DR is digging up must be big and uncomfortable to deal with. Matter of fact, no sooner did I think that than I get the physical feeling that I’m trying to dig a large heavy stone out of my chest (don’t worry, it’s an energy feeling, I don’t need to call an ambulance)
    The sensation of heaviness extends from my heart area to the top of my head. I get the sense that I’m going to feel really good when I’ve gotten rid of this whatever it is.


#119

Crazy isn’t it? How one knows DR is doing it’s work but has NO clue what it’s actually processing…

@JCast


#120

@COWolfe Just go with it if you can. Work through it. Sounds like something you have been holding onto for a long time and it’s been weighing you down. I truly wish I had something more profound and helpful to tell you


#121

I’m fine. I’m pretty good at pushing through things, and that’s my usual plan for getting past life’s obstacles. It wasn’t really a bad sensation anyway Just a notable one. It’s not causing me too much difficulty. Thanks though I appreciate it.